One Billion Rising – An Urgent Call To Action

by Linda Franklin

One Billion Rising - A Call To Action Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanI received an important email  from Eve Ensler and wanted to share it with you.  This is a call to action and if you are a woman you can’t ignore it.

Here’s Eve’s message:

We started V-Day 14 years ago, we had the outrageous idea that we could end violence against women. Since then, hundreds of thousands of V-Day activists in audiences and on stages in over 140 countries have come together to demand an end to violence against women and girls. The funds we’ve raised together have kept organizations’ doors open, and the issue front and center in local media.

But still today, the United Nations states that 1 in 3 women on the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime that’s more than one billion women and girls alive today.

V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, showing them exactly what one billion looks like.

ONE BILLION RISING is a promise that on February 14th, 2013, we will ensure that millions of women and men rise up around the world to say, “ENOUGH. The violence ends NOW.”

Linda, there is so much more to come. But for right now, you can help us launch ONE BILLION RISING with a few simple actions:

ONE BILLION RISING will make the earth move by uniting us through dance across every country.

In solidarity,

Eve Ensler
Playwright, Founder of V-Day
One Billion Rising
Please do you part in stopping violence against women. You might be helping a woman who lives next door to you.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

How Has Valentine’s Day Changed?

By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.How Has Valentine's Day Changed? The Real Cougar Woman
When I was a little girl in grammar school, Valentine’s Day meant anticipation mixed with anxiety. Would I get a Valentine from my secret crush? Did I have to give Valentines to ALL the children-even the ones I didn’t like? Would I get the least amount in class? What if I didn’t get any?Childhood insecurities move into adulthood and those of us who are single, divorced, widowed or in an iffy relationship may still measure our worth by how we are acknowledged on this day of romance.

If time and maturity have taught me anything, it is what I can live with and what I can live without. Cards, boxes of decadent candies, roses no longer preoccupy my thoughts. Fantasies of romantic, champagne dinners and elegant dancing under romantic starlit nights don’t even enter my thoughts. I have come to see and value things differently in my life. Maybe it is perspective I have gained. Maybe it is due to the hard knocks life doles out to us all. Maybe, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” regardless, this is how I have chosen to spend this Valentine’s Day.

Because I know that couples will be out celebrating their special night on Valentine’s night, I am getting in ahead of them and have scheduled a Valentine dinner party with girl friends the night before. At 5 pm Wednesday night, we’ll meet at an Italian restaurant in town, at the bar, for drinks and dinner. No men allowed. All women, whether married or not, are welcome. I posted my invitation on my Facebook account so all females on my friends’ list can choose to come or not. Regardless of the fact there will be no male suitors, the women I have come to know, cherish, respect and love will be there and we will celebrate the joy of being friends together.

After all, spending Valentine’s is about being with someone you love, right?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Better Orgasms – Start Early

by Linda Franklin

Better Orgasms - Start Early Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman Female orgasm is something we don’t talk enough about.  So, to help young women and men understand it’s complexities The University of Minnesota is spending $3,400 to host a symposium this spring specifically designed to help its female undergraduate students achieve bigger, better and more orgasms.

‘Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to come learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot,’ reads the description posted on the school’s official events calendar.

‘Are you coming?’ it asks.

The university’s official online description of the event entitled, ‘The Female Orgasm,’ describes it as open to both male and female students, according to Campus Reform.

While the average age of undergraduates at the University is 21, it is not uncommon for students to enroll at the age of 17.

‘This educational workshop is open to the full university community and participation is voluntary,’ she said. ‘As a research institution, we study, publish and educate on a vast range of topics, including human sexuality.’

In my opinion, this is a big step forward for women. The more open we can be about female sexuality the better.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Mastectomy Not Always The Best Choice

Mastectomy Not Always The Best Choice  Linda Franlin The Real Cougar WomanMany women diagnosed with breast cancer choose to have a mastectomy thinking it will remove the tumors as quickly as possible and give them the best chance of survival.  But a new major study has found that women stand a better chance of surviving breast cancer if they don’t have this radical surgery.

If you are over 50 and have only the lump removed, followed by radiotherapy, you are almost a fifth more likely to survive the illness than patients who lose the whole breast.

Results of a ten-year research project conducted at Duke University looked at the records of 112,154 women diagnosed with breast cancer between 1994 and 2004. It showed that a  less radical form of treatment – breast conservation surgery – is more effective.

It involves taking away the affected lump and then administering high doses of radiotherapy over a course of five or six weeks to ensure any remaining cancerous cells are killed. Women who had breast conservation surgery were 13 per cent more likely to survive the illness. But the results were even more promising in women over 50 whose survival odds were 19 per cent higher than those who had mastectomies.

It also found that women of all ages who had breast conservation surgery were a fifth less likely to die from other causes such as heart disease.

This study looked only at women diagnosed with breast cancer early – known as stages one or two. It did not include patients with advanced forms of the illness.

Experts believe radiotherapy may be far more effective at killing all cancerous cells than removing the entire breast.

Lead researcher Dr E Shelley Hwang, of the Duke Cancer Institute in North Carolina, said: ‘Our findings support the notion that less invasive treatment can provide superior survival to mastectomy in stage one or stage two breast cancer.

This study provides further reassurance allowing women to be more confident when making this decision.

‘More research is needed to confirm these results, and we urge anybody concerned to speak to their surgeon so they can make an informed decision, as every choice is personal.’

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Revenge On A Cheater

by Tracy Shorn

The Real Cougar Woman The Real Cougar Woman, Linda Franklin is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.  I don’t fault betrayed people for wanting revenge. Revenge is primal. It is the quest for vigilante justice — a desire to make that oppressive jerk choke on some of the humiliation for once.

After you discover you’ve been cheated on, the thirst for revenge can transform the sanest and most mild-mannered of us. I am not a violent person. In fact I’m a pretty hippy-dippy, granola, liberal arts major. But when infidelity happened to me, I found myself channeling Chuck Norris. Suddenly, I was prone to the most gruesome fantasies. My cheating husband would lay there asleep, snoring into his pillow, and I’d imagine just gutting him like a fish. Stem to stern. These thoughts didn’t even disturb me. I’d just stare at him and imagine what he’d look like disemboweled.

And here’s the lunacy of infidelity — I felt that and I still tried to reconcile with him. My emotions went from, “Don’t leave me! Did I do something wrong?” to, “How could you?!” “I hate your guts! Get out!” to, “I feel nothing. I feel numb. I don’t care what you do.”

And when I thought of leaving him, all I could imagine was this Super Fabulous Glamorous Romance he was going to have with the other woman. I saw it as they would win and I would lose.

It took too long for it to dawn on me that I’d be much, much happier without this idiot in my life who I frequently wished dead.

Besides a strong streak of self-preservation, I’m too sensible and moralistic to have gutted him like a walleye. But I do not fault the urge for justice. What I did with all that rage and darkness instead is let it fuel me toward a new life.

I didn’t want the new life at first. I was miserable that I was going have to reinvent myself all over again. But in moving forward and rebuilding my life, I learned a few lessons about revenge. They may not seem as satisfying as a dramatic, karmic reckoning, but they register and reverberate in the cheater’s life. And are a lot more healing for you.

1. Practice indifference. Cheaters are usually flaming narcissists. The cruelest thing you can do to a cheater is pay no attention to them. When you engage in drama, you’re filling the trough with ego kibbles for them to feed. They feel central! Pretty! Fought over! If you show them your pain the only thing that registers with them is that they matter. They feed on this. When you practice indifference, it unnerves them. They usually try to up their game with either feigned “remorse,” or more in-your-face antics with the affair partner to get a rise from you. (Feed me! Feed me!) Do not feed the beast. They hate this.

Also, remember, if you do something dumb but satisfying — I know a guy that sent the other man a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine’s Day with an colorful Hallmark eff off — all you do is solidify the cheater’s narrative that you are batsh*t crazy and jealous. When you don’t do that? Worse, if you’re all classy and business-like? The narrative can’t stick.

2. Let them live with the natural consequences of their crappiness. Cheaters are really good at not taking responsibility. They pin the blame on you. They triangulate. But when you step out of the triangle of dysfunction, they have to live with themselves. Divorce, of course, sucks, especially with the financial hits and the mortification factor. But more than that, they have to either live with the crappy prize that is an affair partner, or go to the considerable trouble of finding a new sucker. It gets harder, especially when you aren’t there to clean up their messes, pay the mortgage and remember their mother’s birthday for them.

You might have to wait years for them to nosedive, but they will. These are people who have lousy life skills. The older they get, the less they sparkle. It becomes harder to operate on pure entitlement. And it just catches up with them — the debt, the lack of investment in relationships, the booze. Whatever it is, chances are they aren’t going to wise up, get healthy and face it. They’ll use their same old crappy manipulations — with crappy results. Only you won’t be around to pin it on. Their soulmate schmoopie gets that honor.

3. Succeed. As Frank Sinatra said “The best revenge is massive success.” Go be awesome. You’ll enjoy that in its own right, but I promise you, it will get back to the cheater. “Bob lost 20 lbs, got promoted, and hiked across Nepal?!” That nobody, the chump they cheated on, you’ve got game? It will eat at their guts. I know you should practice rule one — indifference — but sometimes indulge in the glory that your life is sweeter without them.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

New Years Resolutions Don’t Work

by Linda Franklin

Phooey on New Years ResolutionNew Years Resolutions Don't Work, Linda Franklin, The Real Cougar Womans!  Let’s ban them forever because they just don’t work.   By January 15th, I have been frustrated by my list of woulda-coulda-shouldas but didn’ts.  That isn’t good way to start off a new year. So from now on no resolutions for me.

Starting with 2013, I am going to focus in on what makes me happy.  Sounds simplistic doesn’t it?  Well it is.  I am just going to train myself to pay attention to how I am feeling as I go about my day.  Notice what’s working and what’s not.  It’s just like training at the gym to gain muscle strength – the more you do it the stronger you get.  This is feeling good training.  The more you do the easier it gets.

Ask yourself this question –  “what’s more important” satisfying your demanding ego or nurturing your soul?  Both are tough taskmasters, but when you don’t satisfy your soul, you are always left feeling like something is missing from your life.  No matter how much  success you achieve, the good feeling drains away quickly leaving you feeling empty – searching for what’s next.

Let’s make 2013 a year of real change by replacing your resolutions with feeling good training.  When you are happy, your happiness has a way of radiating way beyond you and the rewards can be felt in all areas of your life.

Give it a try – you’ve got nothing to lose and the a world of happiness to gain.

Happy New Year.  Wishing you everything you wish for yourself.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

Relationship Success Requires 3 Basic Ingredients

by Linda Franklin

Relationship Success Requires 3 Basic Ingredients Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanThere are three basic ingredients needed to maintain a healthy relationship. Love is tough to come by and even tougher to hold on to.  Keeping a relationship fresh requires a strong commitment from both people involved, and making sure you don’t lose sight of the following.

1. Authenticity

Each person in the relationship need to feel they can be authentic. Trying to make yourself into what you think the other person wants never works long term.  Being fake is exhausting and over time you build up a huge resentment.  Respecting each other’s differences is essential to keep the love growing.

2. Expansion

Change is a given.  You are both going to change over and over again throughout the years..  Respect the changes, talk about the changes and don’t get stuck in the what was.  Give your partner space to grow and make sure they do the same for you.

3. Appreciation

Appreciating your partner for who they are seems to be the cornerstone for a happy relationship.  If your partner exhibits behaviors that really drives you crazy, before your pounce, take a deeper look.  More than likely they are hitting a sensitive nerve because whatever you don’t like in them is something you don’t like in yourself.

It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect – so don’t be so hard on yourself.  You will find that when you like yourself better you will be less critical of everyone around you.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.