Cougar Confessions – Dating Men Half My Age

by Linda Franklin

Cougar Confessions - Dating Men Half My Age Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanI was surfing the net and came across this article on how one Cougar Woman comes to peace with her sexuality.   I love it and thank you Your Tango  for publishing it.  It just may help a lot of women enjoy an exiting time in their lives without feeling the guilt or shame that society attaches to the older woman – younger man coupling.

I’m not what you’d call an incredibly sexual person. Not anymore, anyway. I’m still interested, mind you. I just have very specific preferences when it comes to sex. I’m in my fifties now (and hopefully wiser for the wear), so I no longer have the frisky energy of a younger woman. When I was young and hungry for sex, the world was my playground. I was out to conquer and be conquered. Age puts perspective on things.

In fact, it’s that very lack of desperation that’s freed me, sexually speaking. Having come to terms with the mature woman that I’ve become, I’m finally in touch with what I want. And what I want is younger men.

Fortunately, younger men seem to gravitate toward me, and I often find myself on the receiving end of some very flattering sexual attention. When I first noticed this phenomenon, I thought, Nah, what could these young dudes be seeing in me? I must be reading into it. Recently, a lovely man of about 23 approached me. He could hardly catch his breath while telling me how beautiful he thought I was. I laughed in his face. In my mind I looked more like an exhumed corpse than an object of lust on that bright (very bright) afternoon.

As he reached out to touch my bare arm in what became a seductively overt caress, I realized this guy was serious. And I must admit, it was an incredible turn on. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, still laughing. Did I really want to pursue this, or was this just a perfect moment unto itself? Either way, his attention thrilled me.

Apparently, I thrilled him too. In his eyes I could see the sincerity of his request; he really wanted me. It was exhilarating to be desired by such a young man. I woke up to the realization that, no, he wasn’t into the walking dead; he was interested in the woman that I sometimes forget I am. In our brief encounter, he made me feel young again. When I allowed myself to fantasize for a moment about this coming to fruition, I felt energized and beautiful in a way I hadn’t in years.

Of course, the road that led me here wasn’t a linear one. You’ve heard of the wisdom of age? Well, it’s yours to have, but the price is harsh: you have to survive your forties. If you can make it to 50, you can probably assume the worst is over. By then, all of your stupidest moves are behind you, you’ve raised as much hell as you’re ever going to and you’ve gotten your divorces out of the way. You’ve died hard and lived to tell. You got to watch your body unravel while your mind kept thinking it was 20. When women catch glimpses of their mothers in their own reflection, it’s not necessarily a good day. I spent my forties going insane.

I woke up in my fifties and suddenly — like some kind of hormonal wipeout — everything was fine. I had a clear vision: This is my one and only life; joy is wherever I find it. And I find it in writing, in being a successful single mom, and occasionally, I find it in surprisingly hot flirtations with men half my age.

The first man I ever fell in love with was in his twenties, and he was indeed the poster boy for what I considered to be perfect male beauty. I’ll never forget his soft face and flowing hair. The connection we had was strong and sexual. Memories of him will resonate with me forever. In my mind, I’m still that young woman. He’s still the type of man I prefer, all these years later.

So, the question really is: Do I actually sleep with any of these younger men who fawn over me?

Do I dare answer? The truth is, just knowing that they’re interested is a greater thrill for me than the act itself. 

This is not a new game. Young men have loved older women since the beginning of time, and women have adored the attention for just as long. Unlike our younger counterparts, experienced women are not attached to a future. There is no plan, no scheme, no agenda that might push a man away. No one’s putting a ring on it, and the biological clock isn’t ticking. In short, there’s no desperation. The sensual ‘cougar’ is a magnet for youthful male attention because she doesn’t want anything from him but his beauty, which is a huge ego trip for him and something he can deliver without much pressure.

For a young man, the older woman is the ultimate fantasy: she’s so out of his league, and while it intimidates him, it’s also incredibly erotic. Even though he senses that she is enthralled with the power he brings, the young man who craves the sexual attention of an older woman is brave, because she really does know more than him.

To know that in my fifties, I can still make a 23-year-old man tremble with a desire to please me … well, that sure does make me smile. Healthy lust is life-affirming and human sexual connection can be magical. Even the briefest of encounters can add years to our lives — and isn’t that what we’re all searching for?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Smart Women Slammed Again – Stop Already!

By Linda Franklin

Forget ambition, financial security and that first-class degree.  Apparently, choosing career over marriage, means a woman is lacking self esteem. A controversial study has concluded that the real reason women pursue careers is because they fear they are too unattractive to get married.  What???  Stop Already!!!

The research team who came up with this earth shaking revelation was made up of three women and two men.  They said that women are likely to choose briefcase over baby because they fear they won’t find a husband. Central to their argument was the idea that women have evolved to become homemakers and men, providers. Isn’t that thinking pretty frayed around the edges?  They said this means that when men are scarce in a particular area, women, and particularly less attractive females, may decide they need to provide for themselves with a well-paid career.

Several experiements were carried out to come up with so-called theory. The first looked at the number of eligible men in an area, which they called the ‘operational sex ratio’. After collecting data from across the U.S., they found that as the number of eligible men in a state decreased, the proportion of women in highly paid careers rose.

In addition, the women who became mothers in those states did so at an older age and had fewer children. 

To prove that a lack of men was behind the trend, the researchers then carried out practical experiments. These involved showing women newspaper articles or photos that gave different impressions of the sex ratio in an area and then quizzing them about which was more important – work or family. When they were led to believe that men were scarce, they were more likely to opt for career over family. However, when questioned, the women didn’t believe the shortage of men would lead to more job openings for women. Instead they thought there would be more competition to find a husband.

The final experiment tested the researchers’ suspicion that less attractive women would be more interested in careers because they might find it difficult to secure a partner. The 87 young women were given mocked-up newspaper articles describing the sex ratio in nearby university campuses and were asked about their views on family and career. They were also asked how attractive they believed themselves to be to men. Those women who saw themselves as being less desirable than average were highly likely to be career-orientated. Researcher Kristina Durante, from the University of Texas at San Antonio, said: ‘Does the ratio of men to women in a local population influence women’s career aspirations? Real-world archival data and a series of laboratory experiments suggest that the answer is yes.

I don’t know about you, but I think this theory is totally bogus.  Women are choosing careers because they are smart and ambitious –  not because they fear they won’t get to the alter by the time they are 25.

Not every women on the planet is motivated solely by marriage. Yikes, with the data we have about horrific marrages and divorces why wouldn’t a young woman want to fly solo as she tries to figure out what’s really important to her and how she want to spend her life?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

The Real Cougar Woman Shares Her Secret For Happiness

LindaFranklin01a The Real Cougar Woman is celebrating the start of summer by taking time out for some personal reflection.  It is time to take inventory, in fact, it's long overdue. For the past couple of days I have been looking at the choices I have made and evaluating what's working and what not. 

To reflect effectively you have to get quiet.  It's impossible to do it when you are smack in the middle of your day-to-day craziness.  You know what I mean.  As women, we just keep trucking along regardless of how we feel.  There is a huge price to pay for not taking time out to re-evaluate. When we are at dis-ease we create disease which can manifest in many different forms.

It's easy to figure out what's working and what's not.  But, too often I forget just how easy it is

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