No Sex Marriages – Can They Work?

No Sex Marriages - Can They Work? Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanIn a sex-obsessed society, where everyone – young, old, male and female – seems to be boasting of how many times a week they ‘do it’. The average person has sex 103 times per year, one study has found.  So that is why this may come as a relief to those who don’t come anywhere near that high water mark.  Many couples are happy to admit that sex plays no part in their marriages at all.

When partners find themselves at a point where sexual intimacy has died they tend to confide their predicament to no one. That’s understandable because  lack of sexual intimacy could be considered a personal flaw you don’t want people to find out about.

However, sexless relationships are a lot more common than people realize – sex therapists hear about this issue all the time from their patients.’

‘Couples who don’t make love start living like brother and sister or friends and get out of the habit of seeing one another in a sexual way,’ says Relate counsellor Paula Hall.

‘If both partners want to reintroduce sex, we encourage them to do so slowly, learning how to be sensual with each other and gradually building up to intercourse.’

Janice Hiller, consultant clinical psychologist at London’s Tavistock Centre for relationships, counsels hundreds of couples a year and says the death of intimacy in marriage is the reason most people seek help.

‘I’m sure many more don’t sign up for counselling but make a choice to stay together without sex,’ she says.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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Sexless Marriage – Why Is This So Common?

Sexless Marriage - Why Is This So Common? Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanSexless marriages are one of the most painful causes of divorce. A lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage is a common reason for a marriage to fail and finding a solution isn’t easy.

Sexless marriages caused by physical problems are often curable with medication, but a lack of sex caused by relationship issues is a sign of a deep seeded trouble.

Too often it’s the woman who gets the blame for a sexless marriage but, what happens when the tables are turned?  When a wife starts asking her husband why he doesn’t want sex with her he will often come out with lame excuses like, “I’m too tired”, “I’m too stressed” “It’s too late ” or just ignore her completely and turn over go to sleep.  That lack of communication is like a knife to a woman’s heart.

It’s no secret that men have problems revealing their inner feelings so they usually prefer to hide the truth. They also know that telling their wife the real reasons he is not having sex with her will bring everything else that is wrong with their marriage to the surface.

Here are a few of the more common reasons men stop having sex with their wives.

The husband is angry with his wife.

Think about it, do you like to make love with someone with whom you are angry? Some men are so angry and frustrated with their wife for one reason or another that avoiding sex with their wife becomes a weapon to be used against them.

He is angry because his wife treats him badly.

Nobody wants to be the punching bag for someone who is controlling and critical. Constant criticism and nagging from his wife will erode at the husband’s self-esteem. He will feel deep resentment because of her insensitive behaviour and this will cause him to avoid sex with his wife in reprisal.

He is angry because his wife is lazy and selfish.

Some men get angry with their wives because they are lazy and spoiled and do not contribute meaningfully to the marriage. These types of women are only interested in their own needs and give very little back emotionally so the husband will eventually do the same.

He is angry because his wife lies to him.

A married man may also stop having sex with his wife because she is deceitful and untruthful to him. She may lie about money and debts and create financial hardship with her feckless money management. Arguments about money problems are one of the main reasons for marriages ending.

Good marriages thrive on openness and honesty and when either a wife or husband constantly lies to their spouse about anything, it eats away at the foundation of the marriage. After all, if you can’t trust the person who is supposed to be your life partner then how can you respect and love them?

He has childhood abuse issues he doesn’t want to deal with.

He no longer physically attracted

A man loses his attraction for his wife for every reason above, but add to that, she has also stopped taking care of herself.  The wedding ring doesn’t give your permission to let yourself go.

Couples who find themselves in a sexless marriage sometimes try couple’s counselling to get to the root of their problems.  Unfortunately, I have not heard of too many successful outcomes going down that road.  Usually one person is willing to work at resolving the issues while the other just comes along for the ride.  Blaming each other never works.  It takes two people to work equally hard at saving the relationship. Saving it because it’s worth saving, not because they are afraid of the consequences of calling it quits.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.