Dresses Made For Your Body

by Linda Franklin

Dress  Made For Your Body  Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanHow often have you tried on a garment and loved the fit the first time around? Sounds nearly impossible doesn’t it? I know it is for me. If the top works then the skirt is too tight. Or the bottom is fine but it pulls across the breasts. Those one-size-fits all sizes really takes the fun out shopping.

All of us are uniquely built and enjoy our own sense of style. You know only to well, that when we look good, we feel good which allows our confidence to radiate in everything we do.

A perfect wardrobe pick-me-up is coming to your shopping rescue. NUMARI offers custom fit women’s wear. Yes, that means the styles we love, custom fit to your body measurements, and even styling preferences. Prefer to wear your dresses shorter or longer? Those customizations are included too. The brand is entirely focused on delivering a better product, with better functionality – ultimately those “go-to” pieces that live in your wardrobe for a long period of time.

Founded by two women entrepreneurs Komal Kushalraj and Arti Anand, NUMARI is built on the principle that every woman’s body and style is uniquely hers. After their own personal frustration with the existing standard sized apparel and trouble finding perfectly tailored garments, Komal and Arti decided to start NUMARI with a vision to make made-to-measure apparel accessible and affordable.

Their initial preview collection of dresses was fashioned by celebrity designer Bert Keeter (you may have also seen him on Project Runway) and features dresses that can easily be transitioned from the boardroom to cocktails.

What’s more, NUMARI stands for what’s important to all of us fabulous females. It’s a brand about confidence, individuality, and fun. The company describes a NUMARI woman as someone who is kind, smart and unapologetically ambitious. A woman who has deep appreciation for fashion and believes in impeccable presentation. Sound familiar?

So before you begin the next year, ask yourself: “Does my wardrobe inspire a sense of empowerment?” If not, make the change. Love how you feel inside and out. And own your moment.

To learn more about NUMARI and how it’s changing the way we shop for clothes visit their website and follow them on Facebook and Twitter.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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Cougars Hiding Preference For Younger Men

by Linda Franklin:

Cougars Hiding Preference for Younger Men Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanThe personal emails I receive from my readers make the best blogs.   They capture what is really going on in the world of younger men who prefer being with an older woman.

This story may resonate with you.  If it does perhaps you can share your story too.   The man who wrote this is 39 and has always preferred older women.

Recently, I hit the dating websites after a few years absence, and one thing I noticed is how women in their 40’s and 50’s try to conceal their preferences for younger partners and how prevalent this is.

You would notice for example how a 46 year old woman gives “30-50” as the desired age for her partner. Or how a 50 year old woman gives “32-54” as the desired age for her partner. Or how a less subtle 48 year old woman gives “30-49” as her match’s age.

In a more transparent world, those age ranges would probably read as “26-38”  -“18-40” and “24-36”,  for our less subtle friend. The higher end of every range is probably what they’d consider an ideal marriage partner.

I would say that a sizable percentage of the profiles in the 40-60 age group reflected these same patterns. A lot of times women are guilty of the double standard themselves.

Men who have interest in younger partners are not shy at all about spelling out the true age-range they’re looking for. Granted, society conspires with men on the issue, but history shows that only when a critical mass ask for equality do we start to some real changes both in attitudes and facts on the ground.

It is a catch-22. Society is brutally harsh towards those women who would be open about their preferences. Yet without a critical mass speaking with one voice change won’t happen.

Do you agree with what this man is experiencing, or, are you the woman who is completely up front about the age of the man you want to date?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Man’s View On The Old Double Standard

Mans View of the Old Double Standard Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanI received the email below from a young man who had some very nice things to say about The Real Cougar Woman blog and especially the old double standard that I write about so often. Take a look and see if you agree.

Dear Linda:

I came across your blog and I am inspired by your work. You are a true leader and a true force of progress in society.

I am one of these men who have always been attracted to older women but almost all of the time yielded to the social pressures and dynamics and dated women my age. The double standards you so eloquently speak of are not only destructive to women. But to men too.
I am older (39yo) and a little wiser now and if time were to go back I would have done things very differently.

I could share some of my I stories but I am sure it is nothing you haven’t heard before. I see the double standards you speak of around me all the time. At work and beyond. In my work, I serve in some mid-level management role at a fortune-100 company. It is not a very high position but it still high enough to see see what you speak of around me at work all the time. I have seen women denied leadership positions they deserve when they’re more qualified and by far make better project managers and even better managers overall. I have seen women work so quietly and patiently without expecting any rewards. Work which is taken for granted and which when done by men is immediately recognized. I have seen all that and I have seen much more. Yet there is no place where the double standards are hurtful and even destructive to society than the realm of male-female unions and relationships. An older man having a relationship with a younger woman is turned into a hero even if there is zero track record of any substance to these relationships throughout history. An older woman having a real relationship with a younger man where they so effortlessly and naturally connect on every level (intellectually, emotionally, and sexually) and it is considered a criminal act by society with the couple vilified, scorned, and turned into social outcasts.

I loved your piece about Angela Merkel BTW. If only the whole world was run by Angela Merkels. If she were a man, fairy tales of her glory and statesmanship, and economic genius would fill the airwaves, be written in about countless books etc etc. The world hates women leaders. That is the sad truth. But with more voices like yours maybe society would change. Maybe the world would change. If one thinks of the changes that happened over the last 40years, one can hope that the changes needed here are not impossible. Humanity will eventually see the light sooner or late. Perhaps one day most of of the fortune 500 would be run women as they should be. Perhaps then too it would be celebrated with no reservations when a 45yo woman marries a 29yo man. Perhaps then it would be such an ordinary and frequent event that people would look back with amazement and amusement at the time when the world was up-side-down. It can happen and thanks to you it will.

With love and affection,
M.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sexual Attraction To Older Women

by Linda Franklin

Sexual Attraction To Older Women Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanI was surfing online this morning and found this interesting email from a 24 year old man who is attracted only to older women.   He wrote for advice from Betty Dodson.  Betty is an 80+ sex educator extraordinaire, so I wanted to share her insights with my readers.  By the way,  Betty and I share the same views on Cougar relationships, which have always gotten such a bad rap.  If you, or someone you know is questioning their attraction  – send them this brief article.

I am a good-looking 24 year old man. I am writing to talk about a strange psycho-sexual perversion I have. Since teenage years I am tremendously and almost exclusively attracted to older women, that is women who are 35 or above (the ages I find most attractive are 40 to 55 but I have fantasized about women a lot older than that too). This is not some fantasy for fit looking ‘milfs’ as is the trend these days, but I like women who look natural, have wrinkles, crow’s feet, grey streaks of hair and other markings of age.

I like women who have experienced life, understood themselves and their bodies and accepted the ways of nature- so the more a woman accepts her true physical body, the more I tend to find her irresistible. A woman who accepts her sexuality or her emotional nature or for that matter her strength or masculinity, should she be fundamentally that way, is attractive to me. I understand there is nothing intrinsically wrong with this, except that this attraction seems exclusive, to the extent that it is very hard for me to stay aroused around younger partners, I have to think up some older women I fantasize about. This makes my love life terrible and hellish. I sometimes think I have this idealistic vision of an older woman who is radiating intelligence as well as motherly warmth, who respects and adores and accepts me, as she accepts herself, and we love each other deeply.

Let me elaborate. I can love and deeply care for women around my age (I am 24). I forge deep, loving emotional bonds with women in my age range, and usually these relationships are sisterly rather than romantic. But put in a woman above 35 around me and I start seeing something sexual in her.

My personal theory is that it results from how I grew up- I had a cold, undemonstrative mother and an almost cruel, truculent grandmother in my house when I was growing up. Also my mom always wanted to superficially hide her age and look younger. In fact I always used to ask her how old she was but she would never tell me. My mother also was rather strict and wanted me to suppress my sexuality, never masturbate or date in school. I feel that now when I see women who could fit in the roles of mothers or grandmothers for me, and are rather sweet, kind old women, I somehow get sexually aroused and fantasize of being intimate with them.

I know this is rather long, but I have tried to probe myself honestly. Given that society has such a taboo against younger men dating older women, I have never had an older lover. In fact i do not know how to find them. Most older women looking to have sex with younger men seem to treat men like young meat to be used for a fling. I therefore want to be able to feel sexual attraction to young girls as well.This is affecting my personal life. Please advise. I will be really grateful.

A

Dear A,

The dynamic you describe is more prevalent than we are led to believe. As a matter of fact, the whole “Cougar” phomenon deals with this in a crass commercial way that emphasizes the sexual double standard. When a man has the same interest, he’s called a “Silver Fox” and society completely approves. We often sneer at the older woman doing the same thing.

The first problem is your own harsh judgement. I would not consider this attraction of yours to be a “psycho-sexual perversion!” Embrace your attraction and learn from the experience. What you resist will persist.

Throughout my seventies, I had a live-in lover who was some 40 years younger. He became my apprentice and I taught him about sex from my POV. After 10 years, he moved along and has since gotten married to an age appropriate young woman. So I personally know the joys and pitfalls of the younger/older couple dynamic. For any young man, having an older woman who is knowledgeable about sex as a lover is the best way to learn about sex. Get my e-book *Orgasms for Two* which reflects the special relationship I had with my very young lover.

Now that I’m in my early 80’s, a younger man would be in his 40’s or 50’s. But if you lived next door, I swoop you up in a heartbeat and you would be ravished by a wise old grandmother. Well, it’s at least fun to fantasize isn’t it. Acceptance my dear boy, acceptance. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to older women. Declare your sexual independence day and Live out this attraction which will liberate you to be free to enjoy both younger and older women.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sexy Over Sixty

by Linda Franklin

Sexy Over Sixty - Linda Franklin, The Real Cougar WomanSexy doesn’t have an expiration date…and these celebrities who are all over 60 are proving my point.

From Tina Turner to Jacqueline Smith, Jane Seymour, Bruce Springstein Suzanne Somers, Jane Fonda,  Diane Keaton –  they are all rockin’ it.  No sitting in the background for any of them. They aren’t afraid to bare a little leg, nail cleavage-hugging dresses or just let the silver fox within them shine through as they completely redefine what it means to be considered a “senior.”

Here’s a great photo gallery of what we all can aspire to. It’s all about the attitude and taking good care of yourself – inside and out..

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sharon Stone on Aging and Sexuality

by Linda Franklin

Sharon Stone on Aging and Sexuality Linda Franklin, The Real Cougar WomanSharon Stone has never been the shy type so when she talked about aging and sexuality now that she’s 55 I was curious to what she had to say.

And,  even at 55, she has  no problem attracting younger men in a town that worships youth.  She is not alone – women tell me the same thing all the time.  Older woman have a special je ne sais quoi that’s quite intoxicating.

“It’s not like fifty is the new thirty. It’s like fifty is the new chapter. We know so much at this age, and people realize we’re the ones with experience. We’re a very colorful generation that is leading once again.

People are afraid of changing; that they’re losing something. They don’t understand that they are also gaining something.

I thought I lost the deep vortex on my eyelid that you have when you’re younger, but I gained almost a kind of beautiful abyss. As I lost the fullness in my face, I got in these great cheekbones. I can’t tell you how many doctors try to sell me a facelift. I’ve even gone as far as having someone talk me into it, but when I went over and looked at pictures of myself, I thought, “What are they going to lift?”

Yes, I have come close – but, frankly, I think that in the art of aging well there’s this sexuality to having those imperfections. It’s sensual.”

I feel more beautiful and sensual today than I did at 22…older women turn me on”.

There you have it.  Love yourself no matter what age you are.  When you do – others will too.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

When Drinking Too Much Becomes A Problem

When Drinking Too Much Becomes A Problem Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanBy Linda Franklin

Women are drinking more than ever before, have you noticed that?  Having that extra glass of wine has become pretty mainstream.  The stresses that women are faced with today, have us looking for ways to unwind.  But is alcohol consumption the answer?

, an advocate for women over 50,  did a very interesting article in the Huffington Post about this.  She interviewed Dr. Mark Edison–a psychologist in private practice in NYC who specializes in substance and alcohol abuse.  She wanted to know how to  know if it’s become a problem, and if it is, whether we have to give it up . . . forever.

We’ve all read the studies:  moderate alcohol consumption can be part of a healthy lifestyle for many people. Men who have two drinks a day and women who have one are less prone to heart disease, diabetes, gallstones, arthritis and even Alzheimer’s.

But sometimes too much Pinot Noir can be too much of a good thing. As daily consumption increases, the benefits are replaced by risks.

Drinking is on the rise in people over 50 and seems to climb as we get older. Some studies cite retirement, loss of job, divorce and death or declining health of a loved one as just a few of the reasons why. In 2010, 16 percent of people over 65 had a daily drink, compared to 10 percent of 45 to 64 year olds and 2 percent of 16 to 24 year olds. And gender is a factor: women between 45 and 64 drink more than any other age group.

But not all daily drinkers have a drinking problem, and not all problem drinkers drink daily. Even if it’s been 30 years since you felt tipsy, you could be one of the 17.6 million Americans with alcohol dependence. This can manifest as a preoccupation with drinking, changing plans to facilitate it or concealment of habits. If this sounds like you, it might be time to address your relationship with alcohol.

To read Barbara’s Huffington Post interview with Dr. Mark Edison click here.  He has ways to know if you do have a drinking problem and how to get some help if you do.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.