Perimenopausal Depression

By Staness Jonekos

Perimenopausal Depression The Real Cougar WomanIf you are suffering from hot flashes, night sweats, cranky moods or feeling hopeless for prolonged periods – you may be experiencing perimenopausal depression.  Researchers have shown that hormones directly affect the brain chemistry that controls emotions and mood.

Perimenopausal symptoms may be the cause of depression, and for some, it may even be clinical depression.

According to the North American Menopause Society:

A depressed mood –This is a normal, brief period of feeling blue or sad that is commonly experienced and rarely requires treatment.

Depression as a symptom – This type of depression may be due to a wide variety of medical or psychological problems, or to intense reactions to life events (such as divorce, losing a job, death of a loved one). It is usually short-term and most often does not require treatment, although it can progress to clinical depression.

Clinical depression — This is a pathologic disorder believed to result from a chemical imbalance in the brain. A clinical (major) depression requires treatment.

Women who had severe PMS in their younger years may experience more severe mood swings during perimenopause. There are many factors that can cause an increased risk for depression from your genes, to having a prior history to taking certain medications.  Certain endocrine disorders, such as hypothyroidism, or other illnesses, such as chronic fatigue syndrome, are also associated with depression.

Signs and symptoms include:

  • Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
  • Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Overeating, or appetite loss
  • Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
  • Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.

Mild depression – feeling blue or sad – can be dealt with cognitive therapy, psychotherapy, meditation, Yoga, getting enough sleep, a positive outlook, healthy eating, incorporating appropriate supplements, acupuncture, and exercise. Exercise boosts your endorphins and can lift your mood. Engaging in new activities may help, such as taking Yoga or Pilate’s class, or getting out and trying new things, all while enlisting the support of your family and friends.

If you have lingering or worsening symptoms, you may need medication.  Depression can be a malfunction of your neurotransmitters, particularly serotonin, which is the feel good neurotransmitter. Medicines can be enormously helpful, although you will want to incorporate lifestyle changes as well.

According to the Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation(SWAN):

The risk of major depression is greater for women during and immediately after the menopausal transition than when they are pre-menopausal.

If you suffer from depression whether mild, moderate or clinical, get support and visit your health care provider to discuss your options.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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Female Orgasm Still A Mystery

Female Orgasm Still Quite A Mystery Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Womanby Linda Franklin 

Female orgams are confusing and all the reserach being done to understand them isn’t making it more clear, at least to me. I don’t know why but the female orgasm has always been a bit of a mystery. For starters, no one seems to know exactly why women have them  — or don’t, as the case may be.
 

We as women are supposedly the more sensitive sex.  We differ from the male ‘players’ and are, supposed to be more likely to achieve orgasm with someone we know and trust.  But is that really true? 

Recently I wrote a blog about women having orgasms while they were working out in the gym. These orgasms were quite unexpected and not the result of sexual thoughts or physical stimulation. The exercises which hit the spot centred around the core abdominal muscles — produced this phenomenon and given the name ‘coregasm’.

The female orgasm is as diverse as it is fascinating, and we’re still a long way from understanding it.  But, I do believe that women are able to experience a feeling of sexual arousal every bit as easily and intensely as men can. 

For too long, our views on the female orgasm have been mired in misconceptions based on old-fashioned ideas of how women should behave. Science just doesn’t bear most of it out.

The truth is, very little research has ever been done into women’s sexuality. And what research was done, for example by Masters and Johnson in the Fifties — the ‘pioneers’ who recorded some of the first laboratory data on the anatomy and physiology of human sexual response — was very heavily influenced by the culture of the time, which assumed that women didn’t really enjoy sex.

They were right in a way. Many women didn’t. But how much of this was because both sexes were so ignorant about the mechanics of the female body?

‘The biggest factor regarding whether an older woman was enjoying an active sex life was whether or not she had a new partner’.

A generation ago, most people hadn’t even heard of female erogenous zones and, if they had, they certainly didn’t talk about them. In fact, to this day, there’s still debate over whether the G-spot even exists, let alone what its actual role is during orgasm. 

So thank heavens scientists are finally exploring the issue of what happens to a woman’s body during sex coolly and objectively. Some of the findings have been pretty explosive.

Australian psychiatrist Prof Lorraine Dennerstein recently embarked on a large-scale study of the sexual responses and habits of menopausal women, which will revisit them over many years.

Many hoped that Dennerstein and her colleagues would find some kind of smoking gun — something lacking in older women that could be linked to a decrease in sexual desire as women aged.

Instead, she found something more curious. The biggest factor regarding whether an older woman was enjoying an active sex life? Not her weight, her health, or even her hormonal status. It was whether or not she had a new partner.

That’s right — women enjoyed more orgasms if they were having sex with a new man. 

Other studies have shown, that some women can climax purely by having less obvious parts of their body stimulated, such as their breasts. There is also scientific backing for the idea that for females, sexual satisfaction is ‘literally all in the mind’.

Emerita Professor Beverly Whipple at Rutgers University, in the U.S. — who pioneered the discovery of the G-spot in 1982 — found in 2004 how some women with spinal injuries can have orgasms simply by thinking themselves into the mood.

In short, the biggest sexual organ could well be the brain.

The implication is that women’s brains behave differently when experiencing pleasure according to whether they are alone or with a partner. It also suggests that a woman’s solo orgasm may be different to one she experiences with another person.

Perhaps the most important message is that when it comes to discovering how our bodies work, we are at the start of a long and fascinating journey.

A workout at the gym? A series of sexy thoughts? A loving evening under the marital duvet with a long-term partner, or a passionate clash with a new boyfriend? They all have their ways of leaving us satisfied.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Lifetime Thinks 7 Days of Sex Can Save Your Marriage

Lifetime Thinks 7 Days of Sex Can Save Your Marriage Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanThe amount of sex on television isn’t going to be cut down anytime soon as Lifetime announced “7 Days of Sex” a show that challenges couples to report back about their nightly trysts.   It appear that Lifetime believes the only way to attract viewers is to resort to having lots of sexual content.  Another upcoming show is ‘The Client List’ which is about a real life mom-turned-prostitute.

7 Days of Sex, will highlight couples who have hit a breaking point in their relationship and are trying to save their marriage by having sex every night for one week.  According to the network, the couples will ‘attempt to make radical fixes to their troubled relationships by asking the frank question: can a diet of daily sex help them recharge their marriage? 

Each episode will feature two couples and see how their relationship progresses over the course of their given week.  If only it was that simple.

Lifetime says, “‘7 Days of Sex is a reflection of the challenges in our relationships — balancing time, family, work and trying to achieve real intimacy while being honest and true to ourselves.”

If you are interested enought to tune in, the première episode airs on April 26th.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

THE SEX DRIVE SOLUTION FOR WOMEN

By Jennifer Landa, M.D. 

sex-drive-solution-for-women- Jennifer Landa - The Real Cougar WomanI am pleased to announce the arrival of my new book, The Sex Drive Solution for Women! It is my hope that this book will empower women to take back control of not only their sex lives, but their happiness, self-esteem and health. 

When I first began my practice, I spent my days diagnosing patients based on insurance company codes, prescribing drugs approved by their insurance company and then sending them on their way.  This is what I had been trained to do – a cookie-cutter approach to health and it was not fulfilling my aspirations as a doctor, much less the needs of my patients.

 I wanted to make a difference in the lives of my patients, offering them a chance to not only heal, but to prevent adverse health conditions and enjoy a full life of total wellness. This desire for change led me to pursue an advanced certification in anti-aging and regenerative medicine and re-establish my practice as a place to embark upon a lifelong journey to embrace and enjoy optimal health. 

The Sex Drive Solution for Women is part of my desire to share that journey with as many people as possible. This is a book for women in every stage of life – 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.  I have included tips not only for women who have lost their libido, but also for women who simply want to improve their sex lives, communicate better with their partners and experience a total wellness transformation!

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

Cougar Relationships – Are they Just About Sex and Money?

by Dr. Fayr Barkley Ph.D.
 
Cougar Relationships Just About Sex and Money Fayr Barkley, The Real Cougar Woman So many of the women I talk to tell me they had unfulfilled sex lives when they were married. Child rearing, career, taking care of the home and hubby left them totally exhausted. Marrying young, without the experience of varied sexual partners, and not having fulfilling married sex, all contributed to them wanting more. 
 
They want what they feel they have missed out on, and many are finding this experience with a younger man.
 
It’s important to note, however, that 90% of these women are looking for a relationship, as opposed to a one night stand or a friend with benefits.
 
I don’t know?  Is the media to blame for how we view older women, younger men relationships?  Many of the younger men I talk to tell me they are not happy in how the media portrays them; horny, bumbling frat boys trying to lose their virginity. I know doctors, lawyers, engineers, MBAs and other professionals  who are seriously looking for a meaningful relationship with an older woman. 

Unfortunately, there are still men, whom I say are laboring under the Myth of Stiffler’s Mom, who think a Cougar is a desperate, leopard print wearing, wine guzzling, bar fly waiting to drag them home, provide endless sex and pay their bills. The fact is, there are far more younger men looking to meet older women than there are older women looking to meet younger men.  So, The Real Cougar Woman can afford to be very selective. If the man doesn’t bring his A game to the table he will be passed over. 

Women over 40 make up over 50% of the work force. They are controlling more and more of the disposable income in the United States and with financial freedom come more choices. Since they don’t need a man to support them financially, they are going after what appeals to them more: younger men who are fun, adoring, exciting, who are eager to please in and out of bed.  They are ditching the couch potatoes in favor of the younger and more active men.
 
Some relationships are for a reason, some last but a season and some last a lifetime. I believe there is a lid for every pot.
 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Libido Gives Women A Sense Of Identity

by Linda Franklin

Libido Give Women A Sense of Identity  Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanWhen any group of married women get together for a no-holds-barred chat the conversation ultimately turns to sex.  And, one of them, or maybe all of them will admit to at some point being turned off sex.

They might joke about their loss of libido, but the reality is that it can become a corrosive problem that causes crippling guilt in the woman and forces untenable compromises on her relationship.

Loss of libido can strike at any age and the cause can be emotional, psychological or medical.  The emotional triggers include stress, anxiety, family concerns, financial worries and marital break-up.

‘I get into bed and just conk out. My loss of desire is nothing to do with my love for my husband – it’s very much a physical issue”, one woman admits.

Yes, it’s possible to sustain a marriage without sex, but it has a devastating impact on any sense of intimacy. There are a lot of women out there suffering from loss of libido but they won’t admit it, and that’s probably why so many marriages fail in later life. Loss of sex drive is often a reflection of low hormone production, most commonly experienced around the time of perimenopause. Those changes in a woman’s body pack a powerful punch.

A woman’s libido fluctuates. When you’re young, it’s always there. When you have children, it begins to fade — and when you reach 50, unless you’re with a man who makes you feel attractive, it can fade away all together.

Libido helps give women a sense of identity. The stronger and more confident you feel, the stronger your libido. ‘I don’t think a woman’s libido ever dies.  But, a lot does depend on how the man in her life makes her feel”.

The good news is that a high proportion of women do eventually see their libido return. There is no quick fix, however, and, as of  yet, no wonder-drug to cure it. Libido is affected by your general health,  your self-confidence, your body image’.  If you are going through a change you should seek the advice of your physician.  Do your research before you go and be prepared to ask questions. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sex With A Cougar Woman

by Linda Franklin

Sex with a cougar woman Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanI received the following email from a guy who was very frustrated with his cougar girlfriend.  She’s not interested in sex so he’s not the happiest cat in town.  I asked if I could share his story with you and he agreed –  so here it its. 

I have been dating a 45 year old menopausal woman for the last month. She is extremely fit and health conscious. She knows that her hormonal levels are very very low, but because she hasn’t had a sexual relationship in a long time she has neglected doing anything about it. 

I am a 40 year old man. I really like this woman a lot.  We have so much in common, and I would like the relationship to develop further.  Her kisses are amazing and make me melt – thats a bonus 🙂

But here’s the problem.  We have been 90% intimate on a half dozen occasions, and every time, I have found her responsiveness to be not just low, but practically a zero. I have been with two other women in their early 40’s that could climax easily multiple times, to my delight of course.

To be honest, I am quickly becoming  bored and frustrated at how bone dry and unresponsive she is. I have been able to bring her to climax orally, after 45 minutes of intense and wearisome stimulation.
 
What do I do? Is there a remedy? How can I broach the subject without hurting her on such a sensitive issue?
 
I hope I don’t sound like a jackass for having written such things…but I know that I am a good and tender lover.  Do I have to adjust my expectations when I’m with an older woman? 
 
Thanks, K
 
Dear K,
If sex is that difficult I would say goodbye. That might sound harsh but if you are a man who likes sex and you are not getting it from the woman you care about – well then she’s not for you.
 
Menopause is no reason for a woman to let her sex life die. Today, there are bio-identical hormones, creams and many lubricants that bring back the sizzle.  I would not hesitate suggesting that she see a doctor to talk about what would work best for her.  If she wants to experience good sex, she will do whatever it takes.    
 
If you like being with Cougar Women there is no reason to stop.  If a woman truly likes sex she is not going to let her age get in the way of her pleasure. 
 
You are not a jackass – this is an important issue that needs to be addressed sooner than later. 
 
Hope that helps.
 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,” there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.