New Year Resolution That Actually Works

by Linda Franklin

New Years Resolution That Works Like you, I have read countless renditions of why New Year’s resolutions never work. We make promises to ourselves that we don’t keep and then kick ourselves in the ass because we didn’t.

Well I think that may change if you can actually do what Laurie Johnson suggests. I know I am taking her words of wisdom to heart and plan to start 2014 doing things in a more productive way.

Here is what Laurie suggests:

Just like creating successful vision boards, prayers and spells, there is a method to making New Year’s resolutions successful and it’s above and beyond just making a list or announcing how you’re going to change.

If you’re really committed to bringing a change or newness into your life, here is a formula that is taken from several different spiritual practices, all with the same core ideas, boiled down into a simple working instruction manual. The trick is, as it is with everything: the more you put into it, the more you get back.

Be very clear what you want. That sounds too simple, but the truth is most people know what they want in theory, not in fact. Some practices say to be exact and detailed in creating an intention. However, because we are aware of perhaps only one or two ways out of 1,000 to get what we want, being detailed limits how a desire can be accomplished.

We all have guides, angels and ancestors helping us achieve these goals. They know so much more about what is possible than we do. Give them your clarity and let them do the details. By saying: “I have my perfect job that provides more money than I need, in a convenient location with respectful co-workers and a smart, understanding boss who appreciates me,” your spiritual posse can bring you something in a way you might not have considered that is better than you could have imagined.

Know you deserve it. Many times I’ve met people who want a love spell that is more about finding someone to fix them than it’s about finding a soul mate. That can be seen as the same thing but it isn’t. If you’re unhappy that you’re overweight and want to call in someone to understand all the traumas you’ve had in your life without working on them yourself, all you get is someone who is as displeased with their bodies as you are and is looking for someone to understand them. You get what you put out. So know you deserve what you’re resolving to get or work on changing that within yourself before you call anything else to you.

Believe you get what you ask for. If you put out clear resolutions verbally but your energy is exuding doubt and resentment because you don’t believe anything will change for you, you’ve already defeated your intentions. Again, what you put out is what you get back. If you don’t have faith you can get what you ask for, take a leap.

Give your guides, angels and ancestors permission to help. The energies that look out for us help us accomplish whatever we ask for. But there’s a non-interference clause on the other side that stops them fixing things that we don’t ask for. So give them permission to help you accomplish your goals in any way they see fit for your best and highest interest.

Using correct words is vital. It’s important to put your resolutions in words that do the best good. That means avoid all negative “n” words: no, not, never, especially negative contractions. And avoid all words expressing lack, like “need”, “want”, “desire”, “wish”, “require”. The subconscious, which changes your vibrations to accept what you ask for, skips over any negative “n” words, usually with the same vehemence a negative statement is said. “I won’t eat sugar anymore!” That just programs you to eat sugar. “I want happiness in my life.” That indicates you don’t have it so the vibe this statement puts off is of lack, which only brings lack back. Instead: “I eat healthy foods without sugar.” and “I call happiness to my life.”

Keep it in the present tense. The future never comes. To tell yourself and your spiritual posse that you will accomplish something puts it forever out of reach. “I have…” “I am…” “I do…” are all far more successful and much clearer for your subconscious and guides to understand. The spiritual realm lives without our concept of time, so using the future tense only sends unclear messages.

Now using all of the above, make a list of 40 things you resolve to accomplish. 40 is a powerful, sacred number used through time to create change. This can be a list of 40 different things, or 40 versions of the same thing.

If you’re working on knowing you deserve something first, start the 40 things with “I am a worthy human being.” Then write 39 things or ways you deserve to get your desire, all starting with “I deserve… (to be loved, to have happiness in my life, to have a fulfilling job, etc.)”.

Read this list aloud to yourself right before you go to bed (and right after you wake up, or either/or) for 40 days in a row. Doing it at night makes it the thing your subconscious focuses on while you sleep; doing it in the morning programs your subconscious to think and work on it all day. If you skip one day, start again from Day One. You need the cumulative energy of 40 days in a row to really make change.

During the reading of the list (or before or after), take the time to feel the success of what you asked for as if it’s already happened. We accomplish more with intention and resolutions if we involve all our senses when asking for them. So if you’re calling a new home to you, feel your satisfaction of being in the new home as if it’s already happened.

At the end of the 40 days, burn the list and let your new vibration work for you. Allow it to work without worry, fear or resentment. Have patience, have faith and let go of the control.

Also be aware there are specific days of the week that are best to start resolutions that aren’t necessarily January 1st (or January 31st if you go by Chinese Astrology). None of them are Monday or Wednesday. Here’s why:

Monday is ruled by the Moon so anything started on Monday changes all the time, as the Moon changes her appearance in our orbit daily.Wednesday is ruled by Mercury and moves very quickly in an 88 day orbit around the Sun. Starting things on Wednesday means anything long term will come to conclusion much faster than intended.

Tuesday is a good day to start almost anything as it’s ruled by Mars, with good fire energy to accomplish most resolutions. If it’s about business – especially the entertainment or creative business – Thursday is your day. It’s ruled by Jupiter and is about expansiveness, growth and success. And Jupiter is very fond of creative people and artistic endeavors.

If you’re resolving anything to do with your body, as in eating better, losing weight or staying in shape, then, for women, start on a Friday (ruled by Venus) or for men, on Tuesday (again, ruled by Mars). To call love to you, start on a Friday for both men and women. To change the structure of your life or things regarding where you live, start on Saturday (ruled by Saturn). Call joy and happiness to you on Sunday(ruled by the Sun).

I wish us all great good luck and growth for our journey as human beings in 2014.

Happy New Year!

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Cougars Hiding Preference For Younger Men

by Linda Franklin:

Cougars Hiding Preference for Younger Men Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanThe personal emails I receive from my readers make the best blogs.   They capture what is really going on in the world of younger men who prefer being with an older woman.

This story may resonate with you.  If it does perhaps you can share your story too.   The man who wrote this is 39 and has always preferred older women.

Recently, I hit the dating websites after a few years absence, and one thing I noticed is how women in their 40’s and 50’s try to conceal their preferences for younger partners and how prevalent this is.

You would notice for example how a 46 year old woman gives “30-50” as the desired age for her partner. Or how a 50 year old woman gives “32-54” as the desired age for her partner. Or how a less subtle 48 year old woman gives “30-49” as her match’s age.

In a more transparent world, those age ranges would probably read as “26-38”  -“18-40” and “24-36”,  for our less subtle friend. The higher end of every range is probably what they’d consider an ideal marriage partner.

I would say that a sizable percentage of the profiles in the 40-60 age group reflected these same patterns. A lot of times women are guilty of the double standard themselves.

Men who have interest in younger partners are not shy at all about spelling out the true age-range they’re looking for. Granted, society conspires with men on the issue, but history shows that only when a critical mass ask for equality do we start to some real changes both in attitudes and facts on the ground.

It is a catch-22. Society is brutally harsh towards those women who would be open about their preferences. Yet without a critical mass speaking with one voice change won’t happen.

Do you agree with what this man is experiencing, or, are you the woman who is completely up front about the age of the man you want to date?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Bad Sex Is Pandemic

Bad Sex Is Pandemic Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanBad sex is pandemic so says, Paul Nelson an  Erectile Dysfunction coach and patient educator. A prostate cancer survivor at 46, Paul discovered during his recovery from surgery, that there was almost no authentic information about erectile dysfunction anywhere on the internet.

 

In 2009, he founded www.franktalk.org, the first noncommercial website for ED. He is now president of the Erectile Dysfunction Foundation, Inc (501c3) the country’s only advocacy/support organization for men with sexual dysfunction.

Here’s what Paul has to say:

Every day I sit down with guys who tell me the same story. Something isn’t working. It’s always a combination of causes. But the underlying cause of it all is somewhere, somehow, someone spread a lot of rules about sex (really bad rules) that sex is a hard penis in a vagina (or any other orifice). Women are supposed to crave it; men can base their self-esteem on how long they can keep it there.

Part of the problem is that many guys aren’t sure what to do other than intercourse or oral sex. This is where the woman has a fantastic opportunity to teach – but for many reasons, many women continue to have sex by the same bad rules.

This is a letter I wrote this morning to a 37 year old guy who was having performance issues. He watches a lot of porn and he can stay hard. With his wife, he loses his erection. I could photocopy this letter and give it out to most of my guys.

To read Bob’s answer to this question so many guys have click here.

There’s lots more information on Paul’s website  http://www.theedcoach.com/

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Tweeters Shared Insights On Dating After Divorce

Tweeters Shared Insights On Dating After Divorce Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanDating after divorce can be daunting to most folks.  . So many are worried that they have so little to offer.

No doubt you are selling yourself way too short with that negative thinking and the folks on  Twitter seem to agree.

On Tuesday, tweeters shared the things they’re looking for in a potential date using the hashtag #10thingsimattractedto. The big surprise? Most people were entirely reasonable about what they expect in a partner.

Here’s what they tweeted.  What are you looking for when it comes to a great date or potential mate?

  • Someone who isn’t afraid to show their emotions
  • A man with manners who treats me with respect
  • Guys who don’t cheat
  • Men who are good with children and animals
  • Combination of compassion, intellect, sense of humor and humility
  • Self respect, confidence, Intelligence, Honesty, Modesty, Ambition, Perceptive
  • Easy to talk to

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Feeling Good When Life Sucks –

Feeling Good When Life Sucks - Linda Franklin, The Real Cugar WomanFeeling good when everything is going your way is easy.  But what about when the s**t is hitting the fan, you feel like you have no control and nothing is going your way?

You can choose to throw your hands in the air, be a victim and forever proclaim the world to be a bad place, out to get people.

OR you can choose to ask what lessons the Universe is sending your way.  What lessons have you missed in past experiences that the Universe is now slamming you over the head with?  What lessons do you need to learn?

The principles below can be applied to all of life’s challenges – facing divorce, job loss, major financial difficulties, loss of a close family member and so on.

1.       You’re not a victim.  Take responsibility for your life.

If “these things” keep happening to you or you keep attracting the same kind of negative people, stop being the kind of person that attracts those kinds of people and circumstances.

Find people who seem to be immune to these things, spend time with them, study them.  Emulate them.

Take responsibility for your part in the situation.  This does not mean being the martyr and assuming responsibility for everything.  You’re only taking responsibility for your actions.

2.       You can’t control other people or your environment.  Stop trying to control.

If other people let you down or don’t do what you expect of them, ask if your expectations are realistic.  If you were the other person, would you appreciate someone writing a script for you and getting mad when you don’t follow it?

The only thing you can control 100% is you – your thoughts, feelings and actions.  Focus on that and let the rest go.

You can’t control the results or outcome.  You can only do your best and let the Universe handle the rest.

3.       Find the joy in the journey.

What’s great about what’s happening?

What are you learning?

How are you better because of what happened?

4.       Smile – even when, or especially when, things aren’t going how you would like.

Whenever I’m feeling down, the first thing I do is smile a great, big smile for thirty seconds.  It’s hard to feel bad when you’re smiling.  If it only helps a little, rinse and repeat as often as it takes.

If you’re doing something that seems difficult (mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually), smile and relax your jaw.  The task will become much easier.

5.       Don’t take anything personally.

Whatever people say and do is all about them.  They’re trying to satisfy their own agenda.

If they’re upset with you, it’s because you’re not following the script they wrote for you (and forgot to tell you about).

If they blame things on you, it’s because they’re not willing to take responsibility for themselves.

If they can’t accept you as you are, it’s because of their own limiting beliefs.

6.       Decide to be happy, no matter what.

This doesn’t mean that you should be blissfully happy all the time.  How boring.

You need up’s and down’s to keep life exciting.  Without challenges, how would you learn and grow?  Without negatives, the positives wouldn’t feel as good.

Your attitude toward life has everything to do with your feelings about life.  If you have a positive attitude that things will eventually work out for the best and you act on that belief, you can feel good about the situation.

You can choose to be happy, regardless of what’s happening around you.

Putting Principles into Practice

I realize that these principles are simple but not always easy to implement.  They take practice.

In order to fully implement them in your life in a way that results in more happiness, you’ll need to become more mindful, more aware of what’s happening in the moment, without reacting according to your old scripts.

You’ll need to pause in the midst of chaos to take a deep breath and become aware of those old scripts and consciously change them.  At first this might mean simply doing nothing – not reacting, being silent, reflecting in the moment.  With practice, you’ll develop alternative responses.  Sometimes these will help and sometimes they won’t.  Learn from the experience and continue to experiment.

There will never be a point where you’ll always know the perfect thing to say or do that will quickly lead to bliss.  There will always be too many new variables with which you’ll contend.

But, with practice, the process of resolving issues and moving away from chaos will become easier.  These principles will guide the way.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

No Sex Marriages – Can They Work?

No Sex Marriages - Can They Work? Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanIn a sex-obsessed society, where everyone – young, old, male and female – seems to be boasting of how many times a week they ‘do it’. The average person has sex 103 times per year, one study has found.  So that is why this may come as a relief to those who don’t come anywhere near that high water mark.  Many couples are happy to admit that sex plays no part in their marriages at all.

When partners find themselves at a point where sexual intimacy has died they tend to confide their predicament to no one. That’s understandable because  lack of sexual intimacy could be considered a personal flaw you don’t want people to find out about.

However, sexless relationships are a lot more common than people realize – sex therapists hear about this issue all the time from their patients.’

‘Couples who don’t make love start living like brother and sister or friends and get out of the habit of seeing one another in a sexual way,’ says Relate counsellor Paula Hall.

‘If both partners want to reintroduce sex, we encourage them to do so slowly, learning how to be sensual with each other and gradually building up to intercourse.’

Janice Hiller, consultant clinical psychologist at London’s Tavistock Centre for relationships, counsels hundreds of couples a year and says the death of intimacy in marriage is the reason most people seek help.

‘I’m sure many more don’t sign up for counselling but make a choice to stay together without sex,’ she says.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Secrets For Making Your Man Feed Wanted

Secrets For Making Your Man Feed Wanted  Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Womanby Linda Franklin

Real Cougar Women are uber independent.  There isn’t much we can’t figure out on our own, but at the same time, we know how to make the man in our life feel needed and wanted.

Here are 6 proven secrets for balancing your relationship and keeping your guy feel loved and appreciated.

1. Show him you’re partners. There’s a big difference between showing your  man you need him (which he craves) and being needy (which terrifies him). A good partner wants to make you happy, to comfort you when you’re having a bad day, and to support you along your journey.

2. Ask his opinion.  Guys love to feel that their opinion is valued (who doesn’t, really?) So if you’re angling for a promotion at work or wondering how to deal with a difficult boss, ask your guy for his thoughts. Keep in mind that men are a solution-oriented sex, so be prepared for him to suggest an action plan.

3.  Let him make plans. Real Cougars want to do it all which isn’t the greatest way to show a man you care. Give him the chance to help you and to surprise you.  Yes, he may not do things exactly the way you do, but that can be a good thing.

4.  Ask him to help you with a “manly” task. Nothing boosts a man’s ego like doing something, well, manly. My husband revels in his ability to put together a piece of Ikea furniture that comes in 279 pieces.  Again its about letting him know he’s needed and you that you really can’t do it ALL yourself.

5.  Let him teach you about something he loves. Whether it’s olitics, football, investing, your guy is passionate about something you know nothing about. So ask him to tell you about it…then let him take you to a game, or plan a trip, or set a budget. He’ll be so appreciative that you took the time to learn about something that’s important to him, and the bonding experience will be priceless.

6.  Thank him. When your guy shares some information that you find interesting, or cracks you up with a funny story, or helps you figure out a problem that’s been baffling you, be sure to thank him. Let him know that he’s the only one who can make you laugh that hard, and the person who understands you best. The warm, fuzzy, confident feeling he gets when he’s around you will keep him coming back for more, guaranteed!

Give these tips a try and watch how he makes a special effort to show you how much YOU are needed.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.