By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.
When I was a little girl in grammar school, Valentine’s Day meant anticipation mixed with anxiety. Would I get a Valentine from my secret crush? Did I have to give Valentines to ALL the children-even the ones I didn’t like? Would I get the least amount in class? What if I didn’t get any?Childhood insecurities move into adulthood and those of us who are single, divorced, widowed or in an iffy relationship may still measure our worth by how we are acknowledged on this day of romance.
If time and maturity have taught me anything, it is what I can live with and what I can live without. Cards, boxes of decadent candies, roses no longer preoccupy my thoughts. Fantasies of romantic, champagne dinners and elegant dancing under romantic starlit nights don’t even enter my thoughts. I have come to see and value things differently in my life. Maybe it is perspective I have gained. Maybe it is due to the hard knocks life doles out to us all. Maybe, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” regardless, this is how I have chosen to spend this Valentine’s Day.
Because I know that couples will be out celebrating their special night on Valentine’s night, I am getting in ahead of them and have scheduled a Valentine dinner party with girl friends the night before. At 5 pm Wednesday night, we’ll meet at an Italian restaurant in town, at the bar, for drinks and dinner. No men allowed. All women, whether married or not, are welcome. I posted my invitation on my Facebook account so all females on my friends’ list can choose to come or not. Regardless of the fact there will be no male suitors, the women I have come to know, cherish, respect and love will be there and we will celebrate the joy of being friends together.
After all, spending Valentine’s is about being with someone you love, right?
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