There are three principles that are tried and true, no matter what age you happen to be: 1) relax, 2) pay attention and 3) be yourself.
In my opinion, most people set the bar far too high when it comes to dating. C’mon, it’s not that serious. It’s supposed to be FUN! Enjoy the moment!
Here’s a little more insight into those three tried and true principles:
Take a tip from the “younger” set and “just chill.” Don’t look at your date as the answer to all of your problems — your ills, shortcomings, things you didn’t get as a child, things you did get and want to keep getting, or any other entitlements on your list. Rather, enjoy your date’s company and look at the experience as a chance to make a new friend, or to be enlightened on a subject you knew little about before the date.
- Pay Attention…
Remember, even though you’re still “chilling,” if you’ve gotten past the first few dates, it’s time to show the other person you are sincere about getting to know them. Let’s stop right here and think about that phrase (go back and say it out loud if you need to)…OK, now ask yourself, did you really get to know the person during those first few dates, or were you concentrating on your needs again and what you want and expect? This is where many of us get into trouble — especially women.Avoid tunnel-vision and keep an open mind about his potential as a mate (if that’s what you’re looking for) based on what you have already learned about him.
I’ve heard so many horror stories from women and men who didn’t pay attention and missed those all-important clues that told them it was time to move on. And believe me, you know what those clues are — that funny feeling in your gut that tells you something isn’t quite right.
- Be Yourself
I know you’ve heard this before, but if you still find yourself acting weird on a date, then you are not been paying attention to the red flags. Keep in mind that the other person is nervous too; it’s natural. Meeting a complete stranger can make anyone uncomfortable. By being relaxed and acting natural, you can help your date do the same.
Here are a couple of pet peeves women have shared with me about their dating experiences:
- Dating Pet Peeve No. 1: The guy who has to tell all his personal business in the first five minutes after meeting him. This signals that he’s impatient and wants to cut to whatever chase he has in mind. Usually, this man is scared to death of growing old alone and doesn’t want to waste time.What to do? Avoid this type like the plague.
- Dating Pet Peeve No. 2: When a guy tries to impress you with all the things he says he owns. I emphasize “says” because how do you know he’s telling the truth? And, who cares anyway, because y more than likely you have enough THINGS and at this stage of your life are looking for “substance.”
Bottom line: If you feel comfortable with this person don’t allow convention (or your friends) to decide what’s right for you. If it feels good it probably is, and if it doesn’t feel right, follow your intuition and run fast before you get stung.
The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.