So what’s going on here? Why is it that after ten or so years of marriage the desire we all felt for our husbands seems to have dropped off a cliff faster than a ten-ton truck?
Paula Hall, sex and relationship psychotherapist for Relate and author of Improving Your Relationship For Dummies, says it can partly be blamed on biology.
‘When we first get together with somebody we’re producing PEA [phenylethylamine] — the chemical responsible for lust, fluttery stomachs and the fact we can’t keep our hands off each other,’ she explains.
‘Unfortunately, that wears off after 18 months, which is the time in which evolution reckons you should get pregnant.
‘After that, we’re producing oxytocin — a bonding chemical — which is all about keeping us together. Nobody, after a decade of marriage, feels huge amounts of lust for their partner — especially women, who have around 40 per cent less testosterone than men. They have to work harder to keep their sex drive going.’
Maybe if the beleaguered husbands would stop demanding sex and instead find a new and exciting way to entice their wives, things could change for the better. Women love romance. Men who find small ways to show their woman how much she is loved and appreciated are much more likely to rekindle the flame of desire.
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