Formula For Successful Relationships

By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Today a friend of mine on Facebook posted this:

“Without trust, there is no loyalty. Without loyalty, there is no friendship. Without friendship, there is no love. Without love, there is no happiness. Without happiness, there is no peace. If you seek peace, you must first have trust.”

It reminded me how so many of us hand over our trust to someone too quickly, and just as quickly, we suffer the disappointment of doing so. I think women especially may be guilty of this. We tend to lead with our hearts and when we “feel” we can trust someone…we go for it. This can happen on a first, second or third date-long before we even really know the other person. Then we are shocked, disappointed and even angry when that person doesn’t live up to our expectations. The lament of, “but I trusted him/her” is the shot heard round the world that has echoed for generations on end.

“It’s important to get to know someone over the course of all the seasons of the year,” as a male friend once said. It’s important to see how they react and respond in a variety of situations. How do they handle anger? Adversity? Disappointment? How do they treat your family? Friends? Waiters? Are their emotions consistent? Do they walk their talk?

Yes, all this due diligence takes time but, if you are into “add water and stir” relationships, you have probably been disappointed more often than not.

So, to all of you I offer this simple formula for relationships (or for anything else for that matter): TIME + EXPERIENCE = OUTCOME

Remember: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Take TIME to get to know someone. Your EXPERIENCES together will yield the OUTCOME. It may not be the outcome you want or expect, but at least you won’t have handed over your trust to someone who didn’t deserve it. Make them earn it with consistent, positive behavior.

 

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

 
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