When any group of married women get together for a no-holds-barred chat the conversation ultimately turns to sex. And, one of them, or maybe all of them will admit to at some point being turned off sex.
They might joke about their loss of libido, but the reality is that it can become a corrosive problem that causes crippling guilt in the woman and forces untenable compromises on her relationship.
Loss of libido can strike at any age and the cause can be emotional, psychological or medical. The emotional triggers include stress, anxiety, family concerns, financial worries and marital break-up.
‘I get into bed and just conk out. My loss of desire is nothing to do with my love for my husband – it’s very much a physical issue”, one woman admits.
Yes, it’s possible to sustain a marriage without sex, but it has a devastating impact on any sense of intimacy. There are a lot of women out there suffering from loss of libido but they won’t admit it, and that’s probably why so many marriages fail in later life. Loss of sex drive is often a reflection of low hormone production, most commonly experienced around the time of perimenopause. Those changes in a woman’s body pack a powerful punch.
A woman’s libido fluctuates. When you’re young, it’s always there. When you have children, it begins to fade — and when you reach 50, unless you’re with a man who makes you feel attractive, it can fade away all together.
Libido helps give women a sense of identity. The stronger and more confident you feel, the stronger your libido. ‘I don’t think a woman’s libido ever dies. But, a lot does depend on how the man in her life makes her feel”.
The good news is that a high proportion of women do eventually see their libido return. There is no quick fix, however, and, as of yet, no wonder-drug to cure it. Libido is affected by your general health, your self-confidence, your body image’. If you are going through a change you should seek the advice of your physician. Do your research before you go and be prepared to ask questions.
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