By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.
Seeing more couples breakup around the Holidays is not that uncommon. Holidays mark the passage of time in our lives. They are defining moments of joy as well as sorrow. If we are in a marginal relationship with someone, we are inclined to start thinking, “Thanksgiving is around the corner. Christmas is next. Then there’s New Year’s. Do I really want to take this relationship into the next year?”
If you are not in a serious relationship, it is a time for thinking, “Do I really want to spend the holidays with this person I have been seeing but don’t really feel all that committed to? If we spend the holidays together, will he think this is getting too serious?” Then there are other considerations: What do you spend on a gift? How much time should you spend together? Do you take him home to meet family and friends?
Holidays do mean something relationship wise. They mean you are spending more time, effort, money and emotional energy with someone else. It also means introducing that person to family members and friends and being pulled aside and asked, “Is this serious between the two of you?” While you may be wondering if he is worth keeping around, he may be wondering the same about you. This sets up tension in a relationship.
It may be time to evaluate your relationship and have a frank discussion about where it is, where it is going, where it is not, and what you each want to do about it. There is nothing so bad as being alone for the holidays, unless you are with someone who doesn’t make you happy.
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