Cougar Cub Couples

by Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.
cougar cub couples by Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanI can’t help but wonder if Ashton & Demi weren’t a Cougar/Cub couple if people would care so much or if they’d be getting as much attention? Will the media now make a broad statement that these relationships just don’t work?

In my 20+ years of researching this age difference and dating/marriage dynamic between younger men and older women, I have come to some interesting conclusions.

I have seen May/December marriages that only get stronger over time. The women and men both tell me “things just keep getting better.” I know now that there is a difference between a younger man who is simply an opportunist, and the younger man who is truly imprinted psychologically and sexually to an older woman and would not consider bonding with a woman is own age or younger.

Let’s take a look at Ashton and Demi. I don’t know them personally, but I do know Hollywood. I have lived in Beverly Hills over 23 years and truthfully, three dates there is considered a long term relationship. The fact that this couple has lasted as long as they have is to their credit.
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We can’t know what is in the minds and hearts of others, so we have no right to speculate on whether Ashton was truly in love with Demi or if he married her for career advancement and media attention. Maybe the marriage just ran its course based upon “Hollywood statistics.”
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It isn’t easy for anyone to hold together a marriage in that town. Just look at J Lo and Marc Anthony who lasted some 7 years. Who knows, maybe Demi married Ashton to give herself some media boost?

Perhaps, as with many couples in the entertainment industry, the coupling was mutually beneficial. Only they know the truth and frankly, as salacious as it is to speculate, it’s really none of our business.

What I can say about this is, I am sorry if their marriage is on the rocks. I am sorry for anyone who has to go through the rigors of divorce. Loss is never easy.
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It’s like I always say: You are either working on a marriage, or working on a divorce.
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The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest

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One thought on “Cougar Cub Couples

  1. As a woman in a cougar relationship, I can tell you that it is no different than any other marriage. To make it work, you have to have a deep commitment to each other, and you have to make choices to put your marriage first. A marriage is an entity that two people create, and both have to remain committed to that creation, or it quits growing. We have just survived a period of several months of separation and some major boundary setting with his mother. That is a work in progress, yet we made a definite move to a more committed relationship. In addition to age, we have cultural issues as he is from an Asian country and I am from the American west. Everyone has their problem areas–it’s still just dealing with what comes up.

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