Lawrence Lanoff is a tantric meditation master. He's a social-satirist-sex-pundit, who questions beliefs and myths. He writes on sex, science, culture, and anything that crosses his mind and body. He wrote this blog that I wanted to share with you. Just in case you ever doubt your own sexuality keep reading. Lawrence is right on.
Last week, the TV show The Doctors did a segment on the sex-drive-differences between men and women. Their theories were comical. Mainly because they continue to look at sex through stereotypical frames and filters.
The out worn idea: men want lots of sex. Women don’t.
There are obvious rebuttals. Firstly, men aren’t pigeons or goats. Heterosexual men are finding human female sex partners who want to have sex with them.
But who are these mythical women who love sex? Or more accurately – where are these women? Sensual, sexual women are everywhere. Women are forced to keep up a “virginal” front by society. Society says, “if you have, or even want, uninhibited sex with more than one person – you are a whore or a slut.”
The Doctors went on to say that there may also be genetic differences between men and women that explain the higher sex drive in men. I assert that if female sexuality could be separated from cultural oppression, these supposed genetic sexual differences would magically vanish. It is cultural forces, informed by religion, that frame our most fundamental thinking about female sex drive.
As social biologists purport, sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive. But that’s exactly why it makes biological sense for women to have lots of sex with diversified partners. By doing so they maximize the sperm-power-potential of there limited egg supply.
Furthermore, there is evidence suggesting sperm volume and ejaculation power increases when men knowingly compete with other men. These findings suggest that sperm are made to fight other men’s sperm for the right to fertilize female eggs. In other words, at one time in human history, it was commonplace for women to have sex with multiple males at the same time.
In my life experience, women love sex. The just don’t love putting their reputations at risk, nor their character. Nor are they wanting to be judged, or face the barrage of criticisms from friends, co-workers and family for overtly sexual, “slutty behavior”.
Female sex is happening, but when it comes to openly playing the field, women can’t be free without fear of labels and reprisals. As a result, female sex drive remains guarded, hidden and restricted by the unseen forces of a sexually repressive culture.
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