By Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman
Okay, this nasty secret is out in the open. Too often we feel selfish, lazy, and guilty that we just don't give enough.
You should be generous and forgiving towards others, but punish yourself mercilessly when you get it wrong.
We give and we give, then we turn around and criticize ourselves for still not giving enough. Eventually that behavior causes us to crash and burn. How much can one woman take?
One of our worst culprits is self-esteem. It’s the need to see ourselves as ‘good’ in the first place, and the incredible pressure we put on ourselves to reach this impossible notion of perfection, that’s the real problem. In our highly competitive culture, we’re told we need to be special to feel good about ourselves.
Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a yo-yo in lockstep with our latest success or failure. We get an incredible high when we receive a nice compliment, but feel like jumping off a bridge when someone ignores us or — worse — criticizes us. We may say we don't care what others think but we really do.
But what does self-compassion mean exactly? The concept stems from Buddhist traditions that emphasise compassion for all beings — ourselves included —– because we are all part of an interconnected whole.
It also entails relating to our situation with mindful awareness — or seeing things as they are without having kittens about it — so that we neither ignore nor exaggerate problems in our lives.
Fortunately, women have access to an incredibly powerful tool they can use to turn things around. We can draw on our ability to care for and nurture others and direct these strengths inward.
The help we need to thrive is available inside us, there whenever we need it, especially when things are at their worst. Wehave to dismiss the notion that others are worthy of kindness and we are not. We need to promote compassion in every aspect of life, and the first place to start is with ourselves.
The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,"there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible". Linda's book, Don't Ever Call Me Ma'am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.