Meanwhile, Hollywood actor Owen Wilson is said to have split from Jade Duell, the mother of his five-month-old son, reportedly because, at the age of 42, he’s ‘not ready to commit’.
Men like Wilson and Clooney maintain control over every aspect of their life. Their work, time with their friends and interests are all carefully factored in. So when a woman’s feelings start running too deep or a baby demands too much of their time, they no longer fit neatly with his expectations.
If you’re in your 40s, it’s frequently the commitment-phobes who are single. And they’re often attractive, possess a certain je ne sais quoi and are good in bed — they’ve had practice!
THE TELL-TALE SIGNS OF A COMMITMENT-PHOBE
- The relationship develops only on his terms. If he’s at a loose end or has had a rough day and wants cheering up, he’s all yours. He won’t return the favour.
- He doesn't give much away. He may tell you he’s been to a football game, but he can be vague — even secretive — about the parts of his life you don’t share.
- The relationship stagnates. You might date for months, but he won’t take it to the next level.
- You don’t meet the parents. You rarely see his, or not at all, and he’s not interested in spending time with yours.
- He hangs out with the girls. He loves female company and his best friends often include lifelong women friends.
- Mates before dates. Nothing comes between him and his poker evenings, sporting fixtures or lads’ holidays.
- He says he loves spending time with you, but you don’t spend much time together.
- He's insecure. However much you try to boost his confidence over the years, he’s still a hopeless non-committer.
- He doesn't want to think about a future with you. If you ask where things are going, he’ll finish it or smooth things over with platitudes.
- He's amazing in bed. Don’t be surprised if he’s less attentive outside the bedroom. In bed, he only has you to focus on, but a commitment-phobe wants a busy life.
Even when a man tells us he has no interest in commitment, many women take no notice or see it as a challenge.
But just what is it that causes men to shy away commitment? There are many reasons why they can develop commitment issues.
If you grow up with a father who is emotionally contained within the family home, yet engaged outside of it with his career and hobbies, it sets the standard for a non-committer.
Another explanation can be found in their relationship history. You’re likely to find they were profoundly hurt by a girlfriend early in life. Some simply don’t like female company enough to share a full relationship. Yes, they enjoy dating, love the chase and adore sex.
Tread carefully if you suspect you’re in the clutches of a non-committer. If marriage is on your agenda, put on your sneakers and run for the hills.
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