Frustrated Man Wonders Is Sex Different With Cougar Women?

Hi Linda,

Frustrated-man I have been dating a 45 year old menopausal woman for the last month. She is extremely fit and health conscious. She knows that her hormonal levels are very very low, but because she hasn’t had a sexual relationship in a long time she has neglected doing anything about it.


I am a 40 year old man. I really like this woman a lot.  We have so much in common, and I would like the relationship to develop further.  Her kisses are amazing and make me melt – thats a bonus 🙂

But here’s the problem.  We have been 90% intimate on a half dozen occasions, and every time, I have found her responsiveness to be not just low, but practically a zero. I have been with two other women in their early 40’s that could climax easily multiple times to my delight of course.

But with this woman, I am downright bored and frustrated at how bone dry and unresponsive she is. I have been able to bring her to climax orally, after 45 minutes of intense and wearisome stimulation.
What do I do? Is there a remedy? How can I broach the subject without hurting her on such a sensitive issue?
I hope I don’t sound like a jackass for having written such things…but I know that I am a good and tender lover.  Do I have to adjust my expectations when I’m with an older woman? 
Thanks, K
Dear K,
If sex is that difficult I would say goodbye. That might sound harsh but if you are a man who likes sex and you are not getting it from the woman you care about – well then she’s not for you.
Menopause is no reason for a woman to let her sex life die. Today, there are bio-identical hormones, creams and many lubricants that bring back the ache and the sizzle.  I would not hesitate suggesting that she see a doctor to talk about what would work best for her.  If she wants to experience good sex, she will do whatever it takes.    
If you like being with Cougar Women there is no reason to stop.  If a woman truly likes sex she is not going to let her age get in the way of her pleasure. 
You are not a jackass – this is an important issue that needs to be addressed sooner than later. 
Hope that helps.

3 thoughts on “Frustrated Man Wonders Is Sex Different With Cougar Women?

  1. Linda you are right. No matter how much this man likes this woman, its not a healthy relationship unless the sexual relationship is also healthy. Eventually he will begin to feel rejected and resentment. Better to get out now before he gets too involved and gets hurt.

  2. I am just wondering what pleasure she is giving him? Sexual pleasure is for both of you.She needs to be engaged mind, body, heart and soul-not just let him do all the work.
    I am 57 and have a fantastic sex life with my man. He is 65. Age is not an issue, nor is menopause.

  3. You are right Linda. It is not about her age, it is about her sex drive. It may be a problem of hormones, but if she wants to, she can fix it. If she cares about her man, she will fix it.

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