For the past two days I have had a serious case of the FUCKITS. Yes, I looked it up, it's a real word. Basically it's a feeling of apathy that sweeps over you and nothing feels important enough to bother doing.
This isn't the first time I have had the FUCKITS. It usually happens when I have been working hard and not seeing the results of my efforts quickly enough.
I admit, patience is a virtue I have yet to learn. It's not that I don't see the benefits of patience, I am just a woman wired for instant gratification.
When I have the FUCKITS I play amateur shrink and try to figure out why. Here's what I came up with.
Some people,most people, won't do anything without a plan. I am just the opposite. I start down a new path blindly, simply driven by a goal I am passionate about. When I was 19 and came to New York from Toronto – I didn't have a plan. When I was 29 and asked to work in my firms' trading department – I didn't have a plan. Living with my husband for over 20 years before we got married – no plan. All of those things, driven by passion, worked out so I guess the universe rewarded me for my tenacity and my stamina.
Now it's The Real Cougar Woman that makes it exciting to get up in the morning. There is nothing better for me than helping women connect to their true power and watching their lives change like mine did. I firmly believe, that every women has a Real Cougar just waiting to be unleashed. The sooner that happens the better.
My no plan for today is – don't push the envelope. I'll go to the gym, I'll be quiet, I will try not to think and just be. I won't fight the FUCKITS - I will just focus on how damned lucky I am – and they will just go away all by themselves.