Cougar Woman Discovers Aging Is A Full-Time Job

Staness jonekosI live in the land of angels, but in Los Angeles these guardians are nipped and tucked with crooked smiles and lopsided eyes frozen on a static expression.

At 52 I am really pissed off that aging — a thing that happens as soon as we take our first breath — is such a big deal! 

Considering that the average lifespan in the early 1900s was 49, and now it’s 77, perhaps old age is a more recent phenomenon. 

My first signs of aging appeared as a growing colony of spider veins and brownSpider veins  spots that surfaced after years of sun damage. Witnessing these skin tone imperfections sent me running to the nearest celebrity dermatologist for a quick fix. Six months and $1,200.00 later, those spider veins and brown spots reappeared. Don’t they know I paid good money to banish them forever?

I revisited that famous dermatologist insisting the procedures did not work. She said, “Staness don’t you know? You have begun your journey chasing youth.” What? I have no intention of chasing youth, just fix it so I can move on with my life as I was — young with perfectly clear, tight skin.

A few martinis later, I decided to cover up those spider veins and brown spots with a spray on tan. Living in Los Angeles this is a perfectly acceptable treatment. Ahhhh, with just one spray tan session for $36.00 I felt much better with those brown spots and spider veins artificially covered. But, this trick only lasted a few months. Self-tanning is a time consuming job with sketchy results. This last ditch effort to conceal brown spots and spider veins, left orange evidence around my elbows, fingers, and ankles. Now what?

When the elasticity of my skin started to relax, the anti-aging battle seemed hopeless. I was now wearing a permanent suit styled with a draping midsection, accessorized with paisley spider veins, and finished off with a set of droopy boobs and a deflated tush to match. It wasn’t pretty! An aging alien was trying to squeeze into my body and take over.

Keeping up with aging was a full time job without any benefits. My self-esteem was being tested daily. No one prepares us for this transition of fading youth.

To read more about my journey into life over 50 click here.


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