Valentine's Day is either the day Real Cougars look forward to with great anticipation or want to forget about completely. The deciding factor is whether or not we have a special man in our lives. Let's face it, we all remember grammar school days and the excitement we felt exchanging valentines with our classmates and wondering if our secret crush would give us a romantic little card professing his undying love. More often than not, our hopes were dashed when no card arrived. This early negative imprinting of Valentine's Day has stayed with me my entire life. It is for this reason that I am one who does not look forward to Valentine's Day.
Sad, but true. My secret crushes always seemed to have crushes on girls who were faster, prettier, or the ones who had budding breasts and a training bra. Since my sister and I were in the same class in school and she was 14 months more mature than me, my coveted valentines always seemed to go to her.
Throughout the years I have either loved or loathed Valentine's Day based upon whether or not I was in a relationship. Even when I was dating someone, there are just "those" men who think that any reason to celebrate or honor a loved one is too commercialized and they fight Hallmark and department stores by protesting with their wallets.
My last Valentine's celebration was some years ago with a man I had been dating over a year. We went to a very nice restaurant in Beverly Hills and then he proceeded to complain all during dinner how expensive the food and wine were. When the gal with the camera came around to take our pictures for a memento, he refused her. Ten dollars was just too much for him to fork over to memorialize our evening. I must admit to mixed emotions. Part of me was annoyed by his cheapness. The other part of me did not particularly care to remember one moment of the night's whining expedition.
Increasingly more women I know are banding together and going out with each other on this night for dinner, cocktails and maybe going to a nice place for dancing~ sans men. But I must admit, as much as I love my girl friends, I still feel the pangs of loneliness and rejection when there is no one special to celebrate a loving relationship with.
This Valentine's I will be the keynote speaker for the national Cougar Convention in Orange County, CA. My topic will be how the younger men are actually the ones driving this Cougar dating dynamic. The men will greatly outnumber the women, as there are more younger men looking to meet older women than there are older, single women available to meet younger men. I will get a chance to present some original doctoral research I have been doing since 1990 about psychosexual imprinting and how it affects adult male and female relationships. Speaking honor aside, I will be among many friends and supporters from my Cougar dating website, which will diminish the feelings of being single for Valentine's. And maybe…just maybe…I will meet someone special who still believes in giving cards, flowers and a romantic dinner on February 14th.