There are also the men whom I say are laboring under the Myth of Stiffler's Mom who think a Cougar is a desperate, leopard print wearing, wine guzzling, bar fly waiting to drag them home, provide endless sex and pay their bills. The fact is, there are far more younger men looking to meet older women than there are older women looking to meet younger men, so the older women can afford to be very selective. So, if the men don't bring their A game and have something to offer, they will get passed over. There are men who think that they don't have to make conversation, buy a drink, pay for a date or have a personality in order to "bag a Cougar." They are angry and disappointed when their fantasy of being dragged back to her place does not materialize. Don't blame the women. Blame the media.
Hormonally, as men approach age 30 their levels of testosterone begin to decline. The ratio of estrogen relative to testosterone in a man is higher, which is one reason older men seek out younger women whose estrogen level more closely matches theirs. As women get older, they have less concern about pregnancy and their libido increases, which makes them a better match hormonally with younger men who have increased testosterone levels.
Many women tell me they had unfulfilled sexual lives when they were married. Child rearing, career, taking care of the home and hubby leave them exhausted. Those who were married young without the experience of varied sexual partners and not having an exciting married sex life can contribute to their wanting to experience something they feel they have missed out on, and some of them find this experience with a younger man. Keep in mind, however, that 90% of women are looking for relationship as opposed to a one night stand or friends with benefits.
In truth, many of the younger men tell me they are not happy in how the media portrays them; horny, bumbling frat boys trying to lose their virginity. I know doctors, lawyers, engineers, MBAs and other professionals who are looking for a meaningful relationship.
Another reason older women are gravitating toward younger men is financial. Women over 40 make up over 50% of the work force. They are controlling more and more of the disposable income in the United States and with financial freedom come more choices. Since they don't need a man to support them financially, they are going after what appeals to them more: younger men who are fun, adoring, exciting, who are eager to please them in and out of bed. Women are finding men their age and older in short supply and many of those men want younger women, so out of necessity they are beginning to say,"Why should I spend the rest of my life alone? I take care of my health, love to dance, ski, travel, laugh and I want a partner who can keep up with me." They are ditching the couch potatoes in favor of the younger and more active men. Some relationships are for a reason, some last but a season and some last a lifetime. I believe there is a lid for every pot.