Cougar Relationships – Are They Just About Sex & Money?

FAYR_IN_BELLDINI_RED Hormonally, as men approach age 30 their levels of testosterone begin to decline. The ratio of estrogen relative to testosterone in a man is higher, which is one reason older men seek out younger women whose estrogen level more closely matches theirs. As women get older, they have less concern about pregnancy and their libido increases, which makes them a better match hormonally with younger men who have increased testosterone levels. 
Many women tell me they had unfulfilled sexual lives when they were married. Child rearing, career, taking care of the home and hubby leave them exhausted. Those who were married young without the experience of varied sexual partners and not having an exciting married sex life can contribute to their wanting to experience something they feel they have missed out on, and some of them find this experience with a younger man. Keep in mind, however, that 90% of women are looking for relationship as opposed to a one night stand or friends with benefits.
In truth, many of the younger men tell me they are not happy in how the media portrays them; horny, bumbling frat boys trying to lose their virginity. I know doctors, lawyers, engineers, MBAs and other professionals  who are looking for a meaningful relationship.

There are also the men whom I say are laboring under the Myth of Stiffler's Mom who think a Cougar is a desperate, leopard print wearing, wine guzzling, bar fly waiting to drag them home, provide endless sex and pay their bills. The fact is, there are far more younger men looking to meet older women than there are older women looking to meet younger men, so the older women can afford to be very selective. So, if the men don't bring their A game and have something to offer, they will get passed over. There are men who think that they don't have to make conversation, buy a drink, pay for a date or have a personality in order to "bag a Cougar." They are angry and disappointed when their fantasy of being dragged back to her place does not materialize. Don't blame the women. Blame the media. 

Another reason older women are gravitating toward younger men is financial. Women over 40 make up over 50% of the work force. They are controlling more and more of the disposable income in the United States and with financial freedom come more choices. Since they don't need a man to support them financially, they are going after what appeals to them more: younger men who are fun, adoring, exciting, who are eager to please them in and out of bed. Women are finding men their age and older in short supply and many of those men want younger women, so out of necessity they are beginning to say,"Why should I spend the rest of my life alone? I take care of my health, love to dance, ski, travel, laugh and I want a partner who can keep up with me." They are ditching the couch potatoes in favor of the younger and more active men. Some relationships are for a reason, some last but a season and some last a lifetime. I believe there is a lid for every pot.

3 thoughts on “Cougar Relationships – Are They Just About Sex & Money?

  1. Lots of great points. BUT… where did you obtain the "statistic" that "Women over 40 make up over 50% of the work force"? I could believe that WOMEN in general comprise over half of all workers today. But, in a population where the median age is under 35, it is hard to believe that women OVER 40 comprise half of all workers. Would love to know the source of that fact.

  2. Sex and money? I will start with the definitive answer, NO. If goes far beyond that. At least if he is a man of substance. And for me, I will not settle for less.
    The savvy, young businessman looks for more these days: class, confidence, intelligence, and a non-ego persona. Of course the human condition weaves amongst the gratifications of the carnal nature, that is what makes us human. But ultimately most successful young men look for more. And they have come to find that with the older woman.
    Aging these days has a new twist…soft spoken, confident, well-read, articulate yet worldy in a sexy way. That is what a cougar woman is all about.
    Younger men are tired of women their age who compete with each other instead of making their man feel like a man. And that is why younger men are attracted to confident, liberated, articulate and sexy women, the older woman who has learned through experience the secrets to making her young man happy.
    Dressing for a man makes a man feel desired and willing to please their lady. That is what the cougar lady knows, and what makes their relationships with younger men so successful.
    I may be a retired research scientist, but know the nuance between a cougar and her young man is much simpler to define. It's not rocket science; it's confidence without the ego that transcends into the relationship. And it works.
    So throw away the old adage of younger men who want only sex and money from us. We demand more, because we know how to give more.
    We don't get older, we just get better. Believe me, I know.
    my best,

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