Cougar women with daughters have an awesome responsibility. They have to be the living, breathing role models for their daughters and show them how important it is for today's woman to be smart, independent and confident. How vital it is for them to be their own person and not be governed by what other people say. I said it was an awesome responsibility.
This morning I was watching the Today Show and there was a segment on tween fashions. It was hard to know whether the clothes being shown were for the mom or the daughters. Truth is, they weren't really appropriate for either age group. Young girls today are super creative and the last thing we want to do is stifle that creativity. But, at the same time, it's up to the Mom to set a standard so their girls don't get off track and send out the wrong signals.
It's funny how age is always a problem for women. When we were younger we couldn't wait to be older, and now that we are older, being younger sounds pretty good. Cougar women have been accused of doing anything to retain their youth, Well that may be true for some, but most of us are opting for growing old gracefully. That doesn't mean throwing your hands up in defeat, it means, taking care of your self in every way – health, beauty, love sex, financially and spiritually. It's becoming that 5-carat diamond I talk about..
I don't have a teenage daughter, but that doesn't mean I don't see how painfully aware they are of their mother's fears. Did you know that young adults under 20 are the largest users of Botox to correct their perceived flaws? One 16 year old girls says, "every time I wrinkle my forehead, my mother warns it leads to wrinkles". Another young women says she engages in "competitive dieting" with her mom, even though she think her mother's obsession with fat is crazy.
There is a study out from the Girl Scouts of the USA telling us what we already know, which is that the fashion industry and its use of ultra-thin models is making teenage girls too obsessed with being skinny, and distorting their body image. In my more limited unscientific research, the mothers are as strong an influence. Going on shopping trips with mom, usually a bonding experience, became all about hearing moms moan about their fat and rolls. Or seeing your mother trying on something, look in the mirror and say, ""I look ugly."
Daughters need their moms to be more satisfied with their own bodies and the lives they have created. So many women look at photos of themselves as teenagers and say, "hey, I was really cute and I never realized it." Well ladies, it's not too late – realize it now. You will be a lot happier and so will your teenage daughters.