Intimacy is a word that has many different interpretations, depending on who you talk to. Lovers might say it's the special connection they have while making love. Good friends might say it's the bond between two people who love each other unconditionally. And, then of course, there are those who might say it's the deep personal connection you have with yourself as you delve deeper into who you really are.
However you define it, intimacy can be just like the elusive butterfly. One minute you think you have captured it – and then somehow it's gone. While it's present in your life you feel safe & protected but when it flies away you are left feeling betrayed and lonely.
In my opinion, the biggest factor that causes problems around intimacy is fear. Fear of everything that could possibly go wrong to make it fly away. The more times you have been hurt, the less likely you are to feel safe enough to be intimate. Unfortunately, when that happens, you become your own worst enemy – yearning for a state of being that you're deathly afraid of trusting in.
But, don't despair, there is a constructive way to find the intimacy you are looking for. First, understand that it's you keeping intimacy at arm's length. Next dig deep in your soul for the reasons why. By doing this you will see clearly how these fears are sabatoging your relationships. When you are consciously aware of what you do and the reasons behind that behavior then you are in a position to change it.
Once you begin to realize that you are the captain of your ship you can change direction to get exactly where you want to go.