Cougar Is Not A Dirty Word!

Linda_Franklin77 Please indulge me today, this is my day to rant.  For the past three years I have been an advocate for cougar women all over the world.  I have been telling anyone who would listen that cougar is not a dirty word, even though the majority of people still think is. For some reason, both men and women choose to slam cougars whenever they can. Both sexes don't want to admit that Real Cougar Women are strong, confident independent and refuse to be defined by the age of the man they are with.

The cougar craze started to grab people's attention when high profile women like Demi Moore, Madonna, Katie Couric and Kim Cattrall switched their preference to younger men.  And, even though they clearly fit my description of a Real Cougar, they all said they hate the label.  So why is that?

In my opinion, it's because the media jumped all over the cougars portraying them as man hungry cradle robbers that would do anything to snag some young flesh.  They made them into cartoon characters sporting bling, cleavage and way too much botox. TV show like The Cougar, and CougarTown emerged which portrayed women on the prowl. People watched and began to believe that a woman over 40 was a predator that would do anything for love. The bottom line – sex sells so it's no surprise that soon after everyone jumped on the cougar bandwagon – Cougar Beauty Contests, Cougar Cruises and of course Cougar Dating sites.

The part that puzzles me is why so many women are choosing to participate in these cougar sideshows?  Why are they so ready to supply sexy photos of themselves in skimpy outfits to be viewed by millions online?  Come on ladies, stop exacerbating an already negative image and start showcasing how fabulous you really are.

I'm not alone in this rant. My community of Real Cougar Women are discouraged too. Just when they thought it was safe to call themselves Real Cougars the image is more tarnished than ever before. They are tired of being the joke du jour around the office coffee machine.

Okay, so now you know what's bugging me.  I will close this posting by confessing that I am seriously thinking of dropping the Cougar from The Real Cougar Woman. That doesn't mean  that I will stop teaching women how to be healthy, happy, beautiful and financially independent – how could I when it's my passion.  I am just sick and tired of the negative spin trumping all the positive and wonderful qualities women have to offer.

Thanks for your support and I would welcome your comments. 

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6 thoughts on “Cougar Is Not A Dirty Word!

  1. America like most places in this world is a society of labels . We like putting people in a BOX just to call them something. Some how labels makes sense to all of us and some of us may feel shame around the label, while others feel pride. Every label has a negative and positive perception that’s the way life goes. The word” Cougar “is just another label with both positive and negative connotations. We just need to accept it. Let me add other words or labels in this feedback and soon images will develop, depending on the individual experiences. How about — Black, White, Asian, Latin instead of HUMAN or ANDROGYNY. We are not responsible for how other people interpret labels DON”T drop Cougar. Prejudices exist regardless of the label. If people hate the older or mature woman then it does not matter what you write , label or say. Stand Strong – we need to learn to have humor and laugh at ourselves instead of taking so much to serious.

  2. No do not drop Cougar from the real Cougar woman.
    I am so proud to advertise myself as COUGAR. On saying that I would never be exploited on or by Cougar reality shows or anything else like that. This type of advertising is for the ones who are so self lacking in confident and mayvbe see the big Money prise at the end. They do not see the happiness, companionship and fulfilment that us REAL COUGAR WOMAN look for.
    I have been truly facinated by the group of men I work with. I am the only lady. They are all so inquisitive about Cougar what is it. How are you a cougar? So I expalin it to them and they think it is so cool. I lost my husband 6 years ago this November and I have had my life on hold due to my son. My son is now 15 and truly independent and he is all for my wings being spread again and venturing out into the world to see if I can find a companion. Even my son has a good laugh at me when I comment about being a cougar. In my sons words "How Cool Mum you go for it!"
    As humans we all let too many people get to us by their snide comments their lack of understanding and their one sided interpretations of what this is all about,etc. I feel they are maybe somewhat jealous/threatened that we as Confident, organised, mature women may be able to attract a younger guy/man and be happy once again.
    So to finish off I do not agree with you about dropping the Cougar as mentioned previous and please please Linda do not let obnoxious, old time and young time people both male and female dictate to us what we can and cannot do or can and cannot label ourselves. Prejudices are part of the human life and if we listened to them all and adhered to them all none of us would have lives at all.
    Go Girl Hold your head high and be proud of what you have created -The Real Cougar Women.
    I AM A COUGAR, I ADVERTISE IT AND I AM PROUD TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THE NAME.

  3. I personally like the title Cougar because to me it denotes a strong, secure woman full of grace and power, who only needs a mate to reproduce and therefore the choice to mate if she should so desire is entirely her right That said, whether you keep the title or not after reading our feedback is your final descision to make because it is your blog/original idea and those who embrase the idea will still be followers no matter what the title.

  4. I, too, wish we were not so consumed with labels. There is no label for men who date younger women. But there is a label for women who date older men, and it is usually "gold digger." The problem in societies around the world is, why are women vilified and men applauded for the choices they make? The issue is, why do we as women have to strike out and make a public statement about who we are, when men just do what they do and don't care whether anyone holds a parade for them or not? Why do we still, after all these decades of feminism, feel we have to fight for basic human rights that men just assume in their daily behavior anyway? Why can't we just live, do and be the same way men live, do and be? Are we the ones who are drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves by taking a label, such as Cougar, that MEN gave us and trying to redefine it away from the definition that THEY gave it, as opposed to having our own label that we create…or better still…no label at all.
    OK. Now you have heard my rant…I support you, Linda, in whatever decision you make. I, too, sadly feel your frustration.

  5. I understand your points, Linda. Frankly, I never refer to myself as a "cougar" because of the label's connotations. It's a little embarassing because, like it or not, it suggests a woman who's desperate for a young male body. (I'm almost 55, energetic and ambitious and full of joie de vivre. "Cougar" just doesn't fit with my view of myself.) I would not be upset if you were to drop the term from your site or products.

  6. Linda, Please don't let these misinformed people discourage you. The key word here is "REAL" cougar woman. The word "Real" separates the COOL cat from the FOOL cat. I can answer your question about being on those dating sites…because I keep hoping that one of the sites will surprise me and actually have some decent men on them who are truly interested in a relationship with an older woman. So far no such luck…so the search continues. lol
    What ever you decide is fine, I will continue to follow your lead. 🙂

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