Many women over 40 are becoming frustrated when they find themselves the main bread winner in the family after their husbands are laid off. Growing up in the 60's women expected to be swept off their feet by Prince Charming, then to settle down, have a family and be supported by their husbands. But, as we know life doesn't always work out the way we plan.
Today, many wives are losing respect for their husbands as they are forced back to work to support their families. In effect, Cinderella is now taking care of Prince Charming and this role reversal it placing a big strain on marriage. If these relationships are going to survive, it is essential to deal with the combined feelings of disappointment felt by women and the weight of failure felt by men when their previously well-defined roles become blurred.
In fact, what they need to do is to learn new strategies to deal with the imbalance or face seeing their marriage falling apart altogether.
Here's a few tips.
- Discuss your new roles in detail. You two may have very different expectations of each other, which can quickly lead to arguments during this stressful transition time.
- Embrace your status as breadwinner. It’s natural to feel pressure when you’re the only one getting paid, but instead of letting it paralyze you with fear, use this experience to rev up your career. Ask about new projects you can take on or if you can interview for the position above your current one.
- Experience the frustration. It’s not helpful to pretend any negative feelings you have don’t exist.
- Cut your husband some slack. If you’ve never been an at-home mom, you cannot comprehend how immensely difficult it is.
- Expect the potholes. There will probably come a time when either you or your partner will express dissatisfaction with the new arrangement. Don’t pull the plug just yet. Address the problem and discuss solutions that make both of you happy before you rearrange the household again.