Sex, Love and God Connection

I didn't fully understand that many women are confused about the sex, love and god connection, butConfused woman apparently they are. So that's why when I  saw this letter in today's email from Vibrant Nation I wanted to share it with you. Remember, this is just one woman's point of view.  You may agree or disagree but it's worth reading.

Since God designed us to be sexual creatures, but at the same time good people, we can assume that sexual expression is indeed a "good" gift.  Being all-wise, however, God also identified conditions for the use of this gift.  Most religions advocate that intimacy should only be enjoyed with someone we're married to. Within that parameter, there exists tremendous freedom to love and be loved: intercourse is a vehicle for emotional bonding, interpersonal playfulness, physical release and spiritual connection that not much else comes close to.

Outside of marriage, though, sex seems to be rather like one of those knock-off brands of a famous perfume.  Does it still feel good?  Yes.  Is it pleasurable?  Yes.  Does it seem to have a lot going for it?  Yes.  But it is almost an illusion, promising what it cannot provide.  The pleasure is temporal.  The connections are transient.  The risks are much higher. 

I've given a lot of thought to this question, as a woman now single after 29 married years.  I've tried everything I can do to rationalize having a sexual relationship while still choosing to be a sold-out Christ-follower.  I've told myself that surely I deserve some pleasure after having had intimacy constantly withheld from me by a punishing husband.  I've told myself that "one sin isn't any worse than another sin" and "what's the harm?" and a score of other arguments.

In the end, however, my conclusion is a hard one: I am avoiding my truth that a God whose own name is 'Love' has higher purposes in mind when he created marriage as the only appropriate relationship for sexual intercourse..  Delaying gratification is difficult!  We think we have to grasp at the opportunities before us, lest they dissipate into nothingness and leave us empty-handed.

I think not.  There are many joys stored up for us if we cultivate these character qualities.  The hard path has rewards we've not even considered. It is a struggle — but one so worth it.

As I said that is one women's opinion.  I would love to hear yours.


2 thoughts on “Sex, Love and God Connection

  1. In 2009,statistics show that 80% of men will have affairs when they are in relationships with women. Men clearly view marriage and commitment differently–that hurts. Though this article is RESPECTED it leaves women in a continued UN EQUAL position of not being able to choose when to be sexual,specifically if marriage is NOT available. Therefore without marriage we are DOOMED to no longer explore another part of ourselves,even if we practice safe sex. Once again we sacrifice ourselves and the potiential to be happy.

  2. I hope that I don't offend the majority of Christian's when I present my opinion that the Bible was inspired by God but not dictated. The teachings were filtered through the cultural concepts of the men who wrote them down. In those ancient times most cultures did, as they often do now, perceive women who are in a sexual relationship outside of marriage as inappropriate. I think modern times can take a more liberal look at that. I think that a longer term committed relationship without marriage is also a very appropriate place for sexual expression. I think a modern interpretation of "sin" is to harm yourself or someone else. I personally have never been a proponent of casual sex. Although I can see how it could potentially be "sin free" if between two consenting adults, with the same expectations and safe practice…I ask if that is generally reasonable to expect? Usually it is the woman who becomes emotionally invested and is hurt when she finds out her partner isn't. I think we need to be conscious of our emotional needs as well as physical needs and the expectations of our partners. As long as everyone is on the same page its all good.

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