I didn't fully understand that many women are confused about the sex, love and god connection, but apparently they are. So that's why when I saw this letter in today's email from Vibrant Nation I wanted to share it with you. Remember, this is just one woman's point of view. You may agree or disagree but it's worth reading.
Since God designed us to be sexual creatures, but at the same time good people, we can assume that sexual expression is indeed a "good" gift. Being all-wise, however, God also identified conditions for the use of this gift. Most religions advocate that intimacy should only be enjoyed with someone we're married to. Within that parameter, there exists tremendous freedom to love and be loved: intercourse is a vehicle for emotional bonding, interpersonal playfulness, physical release and spiritual connection that not much else comes close to.
Outside of marriage, though, sex seems to be rather like one of those knock-off brands of a famous perfume. Does it still feel good? Yes. Is it pleasurable? Yes. Does it seem to have a lot going for it? Yes. But it is almost an illusion, promising what it cannot provide. The pleasure is temporal. The connections are transient. The risks are much higher.
I've given a lot of thought to this question, as a woman now single after 29 married years. I've tried everything I can do to rationalize having a sexual relationship while still choosing to be a sold-out Christ-follower. I've told myself that surely I deserve some pleasure after having had intimacy constantly withheld from me by a punishing husband. I've told myself that "one sin isn't any worse than another sin" and "what's the harm?" and a score of other arguments.
In the end, however, my conclusion is a hard one: I am avoiding my truth that a God whose own name is 'Love' has higher purposes in mind when he created marriage as the only appropriate relationship for sexual intercourse.. Delaying gratification is difficult! We think we have to grasp at the opportunities before us, lest they dissipate into nothingness and leave us empty-handed.
I think not. There are many joys stored up for us if we cultivate these character qualities. The hard path has rewards we've not even considered. It is a struggle — but one so worth it.
As I said that is one women's opinion. I would love to hear yours.