Smart Cougars Too Much For Most Men

Bigstockphoto_Mature_Man_On_Black_-_Great_Sm_579313 When a long relationship falls apart it could be that you are just too damned smart and successful.  So many men are threatened when you can never let any discussion go or concede a flawed argument. In other words, a guy wants a woman who thinks he is her everything. A woman who won't challenge him mentally or emotionally – someone who makes him believe he is superior and boosts his self-esteem.

Does that mean men feel this need to be dominant in a relationship in order to feel sexually attracted to a woman?  If that's true, then being with a strong, clever, capable woman must be a turn-off.  And do we have to downplay our intelligence to sustain a long term relationship?

In our race to compete with men in the world of work, women have adopted masculine tactics and characteristics. We have become masculine – and men don't want to date women who think like men. We have lost our femininity, our softness, our ditziness if you like, and in so doing have blocked the ancient signals that reach out to a man's brain saying: 'Come and rescue me.'  

Modern women have learned to regard men as the competition, in order to get ahead professionally. And while men can accept this female aggression in the workplace, they evidently can't in relationships.

The question this leaves successful women with is whether we should learn to be submissive, socially and domestically, in order to attract a mate. That's quite a challenge for a generation that has always refused to compromise when it comes to our careers.

Much as I hate to say it, I think we successful women are to blame for men's reluctance to be with us. In the process of becoming Alpha women, we've lost our femininity. If we want to be happy in relationships, we have to get that back – even if that means 'unlearning' some of the things that have got us to the top. What do we want more – a relationship or a career?

Almost all the women I've asked that question want a relationship, including me.

Men love vulnerable women. We need to accept that, just because we've changed, we can't expect them to. I don't think they can.

Successful women have reached crisis point and maybe we have to acknowledge we can't undo our evolutionary changes. Perhaps long-term relationships aren't a reality for very high achievers, and maybe we have to accept that our careers will have to be a substitute for love, however sad that might be.

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One thought on “Smart Cougars Too Much For Most Men

  1. Women created this mess. The REAL answer is train our sons early to think differently and get higher self esteem. Younger men and older women are a prejudice in this society from both men and women. We forget as MOTHERS we control a lot more than you think.

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