Cougar Asking Why Am I Alone?

The women in my cougar community often ask themselves why am I alone?  Of course every woman is unique so the reasons vary.  But, I would have to say the major reason for being alone is, "I choose to be". 

I recently received an email from one of the members in The Real Cougar Woman Club.  She shared her "alone" story with me. Now I will share it with you in her own words.   

Being a single parent raising two kids on my own with no help has been tough.  Now that my kids are grown and are away for the summer I’ve been forced to deal with the issues that I have been running from or covering up for so long.

Black woman eater strawberry jupiter images24035029 I believe that we all make choices in life.  I happened to always choose the wrong type of men.  They guys were physically attractive on the outside, but with no substance on the inside.  They were just empty, hollow and emotionally unavailable.

After giving my choices some very serious thought, I came to realize that I was drawn to the wrong type of men because I had a father who was never there for me.  I felt invisible.  When I got older I used men in an attempt to validate myself.  Of course that was impossible because I hadn't  yet learned how to validate myself.

Now that I’m older and wiser I know I deserve better and won’t settle for less than God's best.  I’ve come to realize that I really don’t need a man to make me feel good about myself.  Why would I?  I am an independent, strong, attractive woman in the prime of her life.  I am a Real Cougar.

I could have a man in my life now  but I am choosing not to.  I just turned 44 years old and Idon’t want to waste my valuable time on the wrong things or on the wrong people. 

 

Will be there room for a man in my life someday?  Yes, but on my terms.  It's very important  that I have people who celebrate who I am.  I am done with people who try and bring me down to their level or diminish the woman I was created to be.

 

Ladies, life too short to waste on the wrong person.

 

Thanks Corazon for your story.

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2 thoughts on “Cougar Asking Why Am I Alone?

  1. I can totally relate with this article. I was married twice to the wrong men. I divorced 17 years ago and raised my children on my own. I currently livein Florida and I amenjoying my time kayaking, hiking, beaching and meeting new people. My friends tell me I am too pick ybut I believe I deserve the best God has to offer. If it is meant to be I will have that "Right" man in my life. /if not, I am enjoying my single, indenpendent lifestyle and have friends who help complete my life.

  2. It is amazing to me, after watching the birth of so-called "feminism", that American women are still floundering with self-esteem. No one can empower you just as no one can enslave you. These are things you can only give to yourself and that no one can take from you. Men and woman are differnt sexes. That is all. They are not different kinds of humans. The spirit of each only has four aspects: love, honor, beauty and truth. All other emotional realities are simply combinations of these, woven by the fingers of our character. The only role that is biological for men or women is very simple: in the wild, men dominate women. When not in the wild, there is no role for either. There are simply chosen lives and chosen values. Each person makes individual choices and is responsible for them. Have the courage to live your values and take the consequences. That is what a Real Human does. And Real Humans have never been victims or victimizers. Only cowardly humans turn to politics or philosophy to cover their absence of courage.

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