Here are the four ingredients you need to feel nurtured and satisfied with that special someone in your life.
Each person in the relationship feels they can be authentic and express exactly who they are. It takes two fairly secure people to allow each other to just Be, but people in these great relationships often report the wonderful ease of getting to be exactly who they are.
The relationship is not drudgery or wearing on anyone. It exhibits even energy exchange and good individual boundaries. The symptoms are that no one feels overly exhausted or worn from participating. Often, two people in this type of relationship say they feel uplifted, or have more energy, from the experience of being together, rather than the opposite.
Appreciation for the relationship and the other person seems to be a hallmark of some very happy ones. Sometimes I have clients who are on their second (or third) marriage but their previous not-good experience has taught them to really appreciate the qualities of the new partner. When two people sit around and appreciate each other, what are the odds they are going to have a bad experience with each other?
What I mean by this is not necessarily always agreeing, but almost always being out of high drama. Around these excellent relationships, there is a sense of calm, peace, ease as far as the relationship is concerned. Even in tough times, people with great connections seem to not make their relationship bear the brunt of their troubles. In other words, one symptom of a not great relationship is sense of constant negative drama.
How many of these ingredients are part of your relationship recipe?