Cougar Relationships Still In The Closet

Ashyon You would think in today's world the older woman and younger man relationship would have become ho-hum.  After all since time began older men have been enamored with younger women with nary an eyelash batted. 

Last week I received an eye-opening email from one of my Real Cougars. Her name is Nan and she lives in Virginia.  Nan is 50, her husband is 27.  She told me that even though they are incredibly happy, others don't understand or accept their union.  Even her 14 year old daughter, who is crazy about Mom's new hubby, is embarrased to bring her friends home. 

Guess happiness still doesn't trump public opinion.    

Very often cougar couples are mistaken for mother and son.  Here's what Nan has to say about that.  "It's not our goal to embarrass those who assume. But, eventually, we get to the saturation point where we have endured enough scrutiny, and feel compelled to set the record straight".  She went on to say, "people assume it's all about sex and money and that's just not true". 

Real Cougars know there are many ingredients that contribute to a solid relationship.  They also know women over forty are not on the prowl because we don't have to be. 

So here we are, Real Cougars working toward educating and uneducated society.  Women just want to be treated fairly.  It's time for gender discrimination to end once and for all. We've come a long way baby - but clearly not far enough.   


3 thoughts on “Cougar Relationships Still In The Closet

  1. Dear Linda,
    I understand Nan's frustration. I am 60 and the man that I am currently dating is 40. We knew each other for 8 years before admitting to a mutual attraction. For the last 2 years we have had a long distance relationship which doesn't seem to be lessening out feelings for each other, we talk on the telephone every day and get together as often as possible.
    Two weeks ago I invited some of my friends to come stay with me on Captiva Island, FL. By the time the weekend was finished I felt like I had been submitted to an "Intervention". There were comments such as: Why don't you find an older man? Why don't you find a man of great wealth who will support you so that you can become a woman of leisure? How do you know he isn't into drugs? How do you know that you are the only woman in his life? How do you know that he is of the "correct" religious background?
    I know that my friends felt that they were trying to protect me. It was an exhausting experience.

  2. My dear Kathleen,
    I am 48 soon to be a fabulous 49. My mother doesn't understand my attraction to younger men either. It's always, "why don't you find a nice man your own age or a little bit older" Here's what I tell her, "yes mom, there are nice men my age, but they are mostly stodgy, expect me to wait on them, have nose and ear hair, or are so old they want me for a trophy. It's NOT going to happen." I want someone that is as vibrant as myself, that wants to go whitewater rafting, try bungee jumping and is not afraid to try new things. I want someone whose feelings are not going to be hurt if I don't want to be joined at the hip. You want to watch the game with your friends, great I'm doing something else. Have fun and we'll get together later. Kathleen, you just be HAPPY, and don't worry about what everyone else says.

  3. I am a 57 year old woman married to a 37 year old man. We've been together for 19 years and have 2 sons together. It's a complex, nuanced relationship with many ups and downs. Sounds pretty normal to me. :^) Thanks for sharing a place where I fit in. LOL

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