Vivian Lambert, one of the real cougars in The Real Cougar Woman Club sent me this email. It illustrates how women are still not okay with the idea of loving a younger man. A few weeks ago I sent an announcement around asking if anybody in a cougar relationship wanted to be on The Maury Povich Show. This is the reaction Viv got from one of her friends.
I am an organizer of a singles social group. Over the past 2 years, I have encouraged both men and women to date outside their comfort zone. There are 2 couples in my group that met and are involved in a cougar relationship.
Last week, I sent your web site and information about Maury Povich to one of women. She was insulted I thought of her as a cougar. This is the same woman who 'thanked me' for helping her change her view about dating a younger man. When she opened her mind and her heart, she started dating a man in my group that is 12 years her junior. They are very happy and in a serious exclusive relationship. She said, "I should know that her relationship with her man is because of 'who' she is as a person and not because she is an older woman."
EXACTLY! That's the whole point of the younger man/older woman relationship. It is based upon their chemistry & connection, period.
Today when I watched the video of your first appearance on The Today Show, I thought Kathy Lee said something rather interesting. She commented that she is 23 years younger than her husband and that kind of relationship is accepted by society. But here's the funny thing. She went on to say this about an older woman with a younger man. "One can't expect these relationships to last because people change as they get older".
Several months ago, I was at an event with my singles group. While listening to the music, one of the guys and I started talking. We hung out for the rest of the evening with our arms around each other. He is 26 and I am 51. One of my co-workers also attended this event. On Monday when we were back at work she wouldn't talk to me all morning. Later in the day she commented that my relationship with this younger man was 'icky'. Those were her exact words.
I am writing this to you Linda because I truly do believe that change starts with each one us and how we view ourselves. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
Too many women are still too frightened, insecure and not comfortable enough in their own skin. They need to get in touch with what they want out of life.
Thank you Viv, for sharing this with all of us. Yes, there is still work to be done but all of us Real Cougars will make it happen. It's time to stop listening to what everybody else is saying and pay attention to what our own heart is telling us.