I want to share an email I received from one of my Real Cougars. I think it's important for all of us to realize just how much responsibility is put on our shoulders – and, one of the big reasons it's happening. Read this and see if you can relate. We must learn to slow down or I fear there will be a very high price to pay! I would love to hear your comments.
Men have lost their "balls" and some women have totally taken over the entire role in a relationship. It is a totally gentle balance we must keep — a very difficult balance to find and maintain. In our defense, we have had to take over both roles because the men in our lives have failed to maintain their side of the relationship. I will use my personal life as an example (sorry if this is too one-sided). I returned home one day about 5 years ago to retrieve the mail before my husband. I found all my utilities "pink slipped" or about to be turned off. When questioned about it since the utilities were his responsibility to pay, he merely shrugged his shoulders and said "I guess I overspent." He couldn't tell me where his money went (and he made at that time approximately half again as much as I was making) but he did not have enough to cover the bills.
At that point I made the decision to work my independent business less and go to work for an additional attorney (I am a paralegal and community college adjunct professor). I found myself working about 60 hours per week to make sure all of the bills got paid. With this responsibility I also took over making decisions for the family, which I thought was only fair since I was the majority source of financial security.
If the "males" will re-assume their traditional role of being the bread winner, maybe we can concentrate on coupling being "sexy" with professional. I love nothing more than to combine my professional look with a look that screams "woman," but when I had to assume all roles (wife/mother/financial provider) it is hard not to appear tough. Unfortunately, with the assumption of the above, I allowed myself to neglect myself. I am now on a regimen to renew myself — I have lost 35 pounds in the last 10 months (along with my gallbladder) and am working with every fiber of my body to re-create myself as a woman (not an easy task at 56; however, I have not felt so good about myself in a long time).
Men need to "step up to the plate" and re-establish themselves so that we women can stop having to "strap on a set" and do what they are supposed to do.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent!