Flirting: Does It Get Women What They Want?

By Rick Nauert PhD

Have you ever wondered if a woman can really avoid getting a traffic ticket  when she is pulled over by a macho male cop?

Before you answer, consider this: When Madeleine Albright became the first female U.S. Secretary of State, she led high-level negotiations between mostly male foreign government leaders. In 2009, comedian Bill Maher asked Albright if she ever flirted on the job and she replied, “I did, I did.”

In a new study, UC Berkeley researchers set out to discover if “feminine charm” is an effective way for women to gain negotiating mileage.

“Women are uniquely confronted with a tradeoff in terms of being perceived as strong versus warm. Using feminine charm in negotiation is a technique that combines both,” says Haas School of Business Professor Laura Kray .

Flirtation that generates positive results is not overt sexual advances but authentic, engaging behavior without serious intent.

In fact, the study found female flirtation signals attractive qualities such as confidence, which is considered essential to successful negotiators.

In the two-part study researchers asked 100 participants to evaluate to what extent they use social charm in negotiation on a one-to-seven scale.

Earlier that week, the participants evaluated their partners’ negotiating effectiveness. Women who said they used more social charm were rated more effective by their partners.

However, men who said they used more social charm were not regarded as more effective.

Kray says many of her students who are senior women executives admit they love to flirt and describe themselves as “big flirts.” Kray maintains flirting is not unprofessional if it remains playful and friendly.

“The key is to flirt with your own natural personality in mind. Be authentic. Have fun. That will translate into confidence, which is a strong predictor of negotiation performance.”

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Push Up Bras Giving Women’s Confidence A Boost

by Linda Franklin

It’s no surprise that men love to stare at a women’s cleavage, but it is surprising that a women’s confidence is boosted by how high her boobs can be pushed up.

For the first time, scientists have measured the effect an enhanced cleavage has on confidence – and found there is a direct link.  Women wearing a push-up bra demonstrated confidence levels 75 per cent higher than normal.

The study by scientists at Manchester University proves for the first time the clear connection between a cleavage-enhancing bra and increased confidence.  This study was done by Professor Geoff Beattie, in an attempt to stop women from getting ’unnecessary boob jobs’.

A total of 60 video recordings were made of female participants aged 20 to 55, filmed in three different everyday interactions. Footage was compared of them wearing a push-up bra and wearing their own normal, everyday bra.

Professor Beattie and his team analysed the three key micro-behaviours associated with confidence and observed their frequency within the recordings.

Smiling – which represents positive emotion and signals confidence increased dramatically by 73 per cent when the women were wearing a push up bra.

Averting gaze and breaking eye contact – normally associated with low confidence – decreased by 41 per cent.

And self-comforting hand movements such as stroking of the chin or wiping the forehand, which is a signpost to low self-confidence, decreased by 64 per cent during the trial.  

The scientists found women with an enhanced cleavage were more likely to maintain eye contact and showed fewer physical signs of low confidence.

‘Society places a huge amount of pressure to look a certain way and this impacts on women’s perceptions of their own body image, ultimately affecting their confidence.

The research was independently commissioned by Gossard for its launch of the Super Egoboost push-up bra, which has been two years in development and was used in the trial.

In my opinion, this is a sad commentary on where women are today.  It sure feels like we are going backwards.  We have been brainwashed to look a certain way and our confidence rides on how perky our breasts are or how round our butt is.  

What has happened to our focus?  Caring about the things that really matter – the things can can truly boost our confidence and make us happy?   Our intelligence, our compassion, our creativity, our generosity, our passion, our nurturing relationships?  

Now, if wearing a push-up bra is the first step to making you the women you really want to be, then by all means wear it with my blessing. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

Women’s Deep-Dark Secret

by Linda Franklin

You’re a high-flying woman.  You’re financially independent, you’ve got a great career, you’re pretty – -  BUT somehow you feel unworthy of your success.

It’s that little voice inside our heads saying that we’re not as good as everyone else seems to think — that we somehow just got lucky, and any minute now we’ll be found out. 

A survey found half the women admitted feeling self-doubt, against only 31 per cent of the men. Instead of enjoying our success we spend too much thinking: “Am I a fraud? Am I lucky?  You flip between feeling too confident and zero confidence.

Psychologists call this ‘Imposter Syndrome’ — or the nagging feeling that you haven’t really earned your success. It’s astonishingly common: raise the subject in any circle of good female friends, and those deep dark secrets will be uncovered.

Some of the giveaways of this syndrome are brushing off compliments and downplaying achievements, protesting that you were just ‘in the right place at the right time’, had lots of help, or that ‘anyone could have done it’.  Sound familiar?

And while for many women that just feels like good manners — who wants to brag, or hog all the credit for a team effort? — there’s a fine line between self-deprecation and self-destruction. Some ‘imposters’ work themselves into the ground, worried their best isn’t good enough or are driven to keep checking and re-checking their work for mistakes.

Sadly, Imposter Syndrome often stops us really savoring success, since we’re worried it can’t last. We beat ourselves up so much about not being seen as arrogrant, but shouldn’t women train themselves to enjoy our successes more, raise a glass to success, rather than worrying about whether we can do it again.

When successful women are often portrayed as bitches – pushy and dislikeable, it’s easy to see why some might feel uncomfortable at the top. But what distinguishes ‘imposters’ is an unusually strong fear not of success, but of failure. Dr. Valerie Young is the author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women. She argues that while everyone makes mistakes, ‘imposters’ often feel excessively ashamed about doing so.

‘They have this very definite rule book in their heads that says “if I was really competent I wouldn’t make mistakes, I would know everything . . .” They could win a Nobel Peace Prize and still think they could have done better.’

Dr. Young argues people who rise from humble backgrounds, and women working in very male-dominated professions, are particularly at risk since they may feel they don’t ‘fit in’.

The more experience you build up, the more evidence you have to face down irrational fears. That might mean reminding yourself that you can’t always know everything, but you are smart enough to find out if necessary: or that the occasional minor error isn’t the end of the world.

If all else fails, it’s worth remembering that doubting yourself occasionally may actually be healthier than being so convinced of your own genius that you never listen to anyone else. ‘Never forget how well you’ve already done.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Libido Gives Women A Sense Of Identity

by Linda Franklin

When any group of married women get together for a no-holds-barred chat the conversation ultimately turns to sex.  And, one of them, or maybe all of them will admit to at some point being turned off sex.

They might joke about their loss of libido, but the reality is that it can become a corrosive problem that causes crippling guilt in the woman and forces untenable compromises on her relationship.

Loss of libido can strike at any age and the cause can be emotional, psychological or medical.  The emotional triggers include stress, anxiety, family concerns, financial worries and marital break-up.

‘I get into bed and just conk out. My loss of desire is nothing to do with my love for my husband - it’s very much a physical issue”, one woman admits.

Yes, it’s possible to sustain a marriage without sex, but it has a devastating impact on any sense of intimacy. There are a lot of women out there suffering from loss of libido but they won’t admit it, and that’s probably why so many marriages fail in later life. Loss of sex drive is often a reflection of low hormone production, most commonly experienced around the time of perimenopause. Those changes in a woman’s body pack a powerful punch.

A woman’s libido fluctuates. When you’re young, it’s always there. When you have children, it begins to fade — and when you reach 50, unless you’re with a man who makes you feel attractive, it can fade away all together.

Libido helps give women a sense of identity. The stronger and more confident you feel, the stronger your libido. ’I don’t think a woman’s libido ever dies.  But, a lot does depend on how the man in her life makes her feel”.

The good news is that a high proportion of women do eventually see their libido return. There is no quick fix, however, and, as of  yet, no wonder-drug to cure it. Libido is affected by your general health,  your self-confidence, your body image’.  If you are going through a change you should seek the advice of your physician.  Do your research before you go and be prepared to ask questions. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.