Cougars Hiding Preference For Younger Men

by Linda Franklin:

Cougars Hiding Preference for Younger Men Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanThe personal emails I receive from my readers make the best blogs.   They capture what is really going on in the world of younger men who prefer being with an older woman.

This story may resonate with you.  If it does perhaps you can share your story too.   The man who wrote this is 39 and has always preferred older women.

Recently, I hit the dating websites after a few years absence, and one thing I noticed is how women in their 40’s and 50’s try to conceal their preferences for younger partners and how prevalent this is.

You would notice for example how a 46 year old woman gives “30-50″ as the desired age for her partner. Or how a 50 year old woman gives “32-54″ as the desired age for her partner. Or how a less subtle 48 year old woman gives “30-49″ as her match’s age.

In a more transparent world, those age ranges would probably read as “26-38″  -“18-40″ and “24-36″,  for our less subtle friend. The higher end of every range is probably what they’d consider an ideal marriage partner.

I would say that a sizable percentage of the profiles in the 40-60 age group reflected these same patterns. A lot of times women are guilty of the double standard themselves.

Men who have interest in younger partners are not shy at all about spelling out the true age-range they’re looking for. Granted, society conspires with men on the issue, but history shows that only when a critical mass ask for equality do we start to some real changes both in attitudes and facts on the ground.

It is a catch-22. Society is brutally harsh towards those women who would be open about their preferences. Yet without a critical mass speaking with one voice change won’t happen.

Do you agree with what this man is experiencing, or, are you the woman who is completely up front about the age of the man you want to date?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sixty Really Isn’t The New Forty

by Linda Franklin

Sixty Really Isn't The New 40 by Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanDo you ever catch a glimpse of yourself as you walk by a store window?  For a split second you wonder who is that woman?  Then reality hits.  It’s you.

As I age,  I find the disparity between how I feel on the inside and how I look on the outside grows ever greater. Some days I feel 20; others 35; on a bad day, perhaps 45 But more than that? Never. 

It’s scary heading for senior status in a society that places so much premium on being young.  Women over 60 complain they become invisible, ble — unless, of course, they happen to be Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda or Helen Mirren.

In a room full of women you can have a great debate on the right way and the wrong way to handle aging. How do you live life as a 60-something to the fullest, without behaving like a fool.  Should women succumb to aging gracefully or is disgracefully the way to go?  

Unlike for our mothers’ generation, there’s no road map for being a woman of 60-plus today. It strikes me there’s a good, a bad and an ugly to this state of affairs. On the upside, far from slowing down, for many women fun and freedom beckon in their seventh decade

Fashion may, for the most part, be aimed at the young, but there’s plenty of grown-up glamor to be found in upmarket labels. There’s no excuse for being a fashion frump, whatever your age.

The majority of women I know approaching 60 continue to work.  Many of them because they are the sole source of income, others because they love what they do.  But, then there are the women who spend their days shopping and doing the granny shift.  

It’s interesting that the divorce rate of folks 60-plus has increased.  The idea that divorce and starting over is the cure for the disease of old age is becoming increasingly common currency. While increasing numbers of 50 and 60-somethings are busy playing sex gods and sirens on the internet, many are discovering that finding a mate late in life is no easy task.

When friends’ marriages end in their 50s, the women discovered the joys of sex and dating anew. But now they’re in their 60s, they are facing up to the fact that they may have to spend the rest of their lives alone.

They’re getting on with life as best they can, but it’s not a prospect they relish. Some of those who were abandoned by their spouses are bitter; some who did the dumping are beginning to regret it; others who found Mr. Right are thanking their lucky stars.

Beauty has always been treated as a virtue, and with cosmetic surgery promising faces and bodies that deny the years, it’s easy to understand why women are increasingly desperate to turn back the clock.

There’s no refuting that women feel empowered when they view their surgically improved selves in the mirror — but 60 is 60, no matter what the smoke and mirrors

To say I’m glad I’m not young any more would be a lie. But I’m not sad either. I remember the Swinging Sixties as if they were yesterday.

Bottom line –  as you approach the big 6-0 there is a hell of a lot of living to do.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Cougar Woman Admits Younger Men Are Exhausting

 By Linda Franklin

I read an article about relationships that have a large age gap and wanted to share it with you. To get the full scoop click here.  With all the spin around Ashton and Demi’s divorce, many women are wondering if an older woman can find happiness with a younger man.    You decide for yourself.

Cougar Woman Admit Younger Men Exhausting by Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanHelen Backhouse, 56, an artist, is married to computer programmer Pierre Burghgraeve, 40. Helen thinks the 17 years between her and husband Pierre have become more apparent as they have got older. She says, “I enjoy reading, gardening and sitting peacefully, while Pierre is much more active. And our tastes are very different, too. I love music from the Seventies that he hates, and he listens to rap, which I can’t stand”.

“I like to tell everyone he keeps me young, but it can be exhausting being with a younger man”. And living with him and my son is sometimes like living with two squabbling teenage boys”.

There’s no doubt that being with a younger man raises eyebrows.

When we first got together, my friends were horrified. They worried he would eventually fall in love with a woman his own age and I would get hurt. Pierre reassures me this will never happen. Yet there are times when I have questioned what on earth I am doing.

I married my first husband, when I was 26 — he was the same age. The marriage ended after ten years without us having children.

When I was 38, I decided I wanted to be a mother and a  male friend agreed to be the donor father. I brought Thomas up on my own, until I met Pierre.

We met when Pierre when he became the chef at a restaurant near my home in 2004. When it comes to the physical side of our relationship, the thing that flashes through my mind is, ‘I’d better have the lights off’ — but Pierre has always made me feel desirable.

Sometimes I do worry about the fact that when he’s 65, I’ll be in my 80s. But I joke that after I’ve gone, he can find a woman his own age and have a whole new life.’

PIERRE SAYS: To me, age is irrelevant. When I met Helen, I didn’t think: ‘How old is she?’ I simply thought what an attractive, interesting woman she was. She has a wonderful career and is her own woman. I like the fact she’s seen more of life than me.

People may look at us oddly sometimes, but I no longer notice. Besides, I am not frozen in time — I am ageing, too. As I get older, I feel the age gap between us narrows. I don’t think too much about the future — I am just glad we are happy now.’

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Lift Your Face, Lift Your Spirits

By Cynthia Rowland

Life Your Face Lift Your Spitits Cynthia Rowland For The Real Cougar WomanWhen you look in the mirror, does the memory of your 27 year old face make you wish you could look could turn back the clock  five, ten, even fifteen years?

Well, now you can!

My passion is teaching facial exercise to every person who allows me to touch their face and here’s what  I have discovered:  when a person performs the upper eye exercise, their eyes open and tension melts away.  Visible lifting and toning  makes everyone smile.  When you lift your face, you lift your spirits.

Aging in the face is a result of sun damage, environmental challenges, hormones and sagging facial muscles.

Muscles lose their oomph and their strength when gravity and disuse cause the muscle and muscle groups to elongate. These descending muscles can elongate up to ½ inch and when the muscles pool into each other, the skin begins to sag and wrinkle as it copes with the heavy muscles that are headed south.  Mother Nature is tromping across your face creating her recipe for an aging face.

Beauty Guru, Jackie Silver, Agingbackwards.com, has long touted exercise as the fountain of youth. Tucson physician Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., Ph.D., author of Living with Chronic Pain, says, “any kind of exercise has psychological and physical benefits that reduce anxiety and lift your spirits.”

Just like exercise works for your body, isometric exercise movements using anchoring techniques that produce meaningful contractions will change the shape and contour of your face. As your tiny muscles respond to the easy to perform movements, most users feel and see the lifting immediately and when those movements are repeated daily, the new you develops. From the inside out, muscles reposition, the skin feels and acts younger and lifting is apparent.

Do you have crows’ feet?  Do you see lines around your eyes when you smile? Crows’ feet are caused when your forehead muscle lengthens (it’s a vertical muscle that run across your forehead) and collides with the round eye muscle. The heavy forehead begins to affect the compression around your eyes.

Try this:  Lift the areas at your temples with your fingertips first up and back into the hairline. Look in the mirror; do you see how the crows’ feet are lessened? Do you see lined or hooded eyelids? Both conditions are caused by drooping eyebrows and exercise can strengthen the underlying muscles.

Many people have reported that facial exercise has replaced injections that plump and paralyze the wayward muscles and rather than cutting perfectly healthy skin, exercise has been successfully used to help most users look 10 – 15 years younger. Imagine no injections, no invasive procedures, no huge outlay of cash, no doctors, no drugs and no risk at all to your beautiful face. Your power suit, your calling card will remain intact. “You will simply look better than you have in years – I haven’t used injections at all in the past three years because I regularly exercise my face,” says Jackie Silver. “It only takes a few minutes to go through the routine and my face looks like a teenager’s. I am a believer!”

Sagging eyelids and cheeks? Pouches, Jowls, or a Double Chin? There’s an exercise for that!

Every area of your face and neck will be exercised using specialized movements. Your facial features will experience lifting, toning and tightening.

You will be thrilled with your results. So this holiday season lift your face lift your spirits!

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sexual Dysfunction and Diabetes

By Dr. Jennifer Landa

Sexual Dysfuction and Diabetes by Dr. Jennifer Landa For The Real Cougar WomanSexual dysfunction in female diabetics has only received attention within the last decade.. Nearly 40 percent of diabetic women experience some type of sexual dysfunction affecting both their desire and performance.

Unlike a man with diabetes, sexual dysfunction in diabetic females is most commonly linked to body image, depression and anxiety. In some cases, it may be attributed to more serious complications of the disease such as vascular damage, neuropathy or infections. Diabetic women who have experienced, or are also experiencing menopause, may be dealing with a dual challenge when it comes to overcoming sexual dysfunction.

Mind over Mattress

Studies have observed that women affected by diabetes have a low self-esteem and poor body image in comparison to women not affected by diabetes. This may be linked to depression and anxiety – which affects 60 percent of diabetic patients – and can literally tank your libido. Women who must wear a pump or check their blood sugar before sex may become self-conscious, reducing the likelihood that they will initiate or engage in sex. Traditional stressors that affect any woman in the bedroom – such as weight management – pile onto the reasons diabetic women experience sexual dysfunction.

The root cause of female sexual dysfunction in these cases can often be addressed with lifestyle changes and a trusted partner. A balanced diet and routine exercise are proven methods for controlling weight and improving mood.  Don’t be afraid to talk openly with your doctor about your sexual distress – some cases may be more severe and require a change in medication or additional counseling.  Don’t forget that communicating with your sexual partner can be a very effective way to alleviate the fears hindering your sexual function.

The Prescription

The most effective way to avoid sexual dysfunction related to diabetes is to properly manage the disease. Making an effort to live a healthy lifestyle and carefully monitoring your blood glucose levels will decrease your risk of neuropathy, infections and circulatory issues. You will also be among the fortunate women affected by diabetes that enjoy higher energy levels and less anxiety because they practice good diabetes management. In some cases, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy may be useful – adequate amounts of progesterone, testosterone and growth hormone play a role in the delicate regulation of blood glucose levels.

Women who experience vaginal dryness as part of their diabetes-related sexual dysfunction may be dealing with a hormonal imbalance. Low estrogen levels can occur in diabetic women and is a likely culprit in women who are also experiencing menopause. Bioidentical hormone replacement therapy is a solution that may be explored to correct this issue. If the dryness is related exclusively to diabetes, over-the-counter lubrications are also an effective choice.

There are answers, so do your research and find a doctor you trust.  Together you will find ways to rekindle the sparks of passion.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Finding Love Again

by Linda Franklin -

Finding Love Again Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanLisa spent 15 years alone after her husband died and thought she would never have sex again. Then, at age 71, she met a wonderful partner and has fallen madly in love again. She should be thrilled right?  She is – but the rest of the world seems less happy.

Both Lisa and her guy both have children who are having problems with their parents intimacy.  They roll their eyes when they kiss, and when Lisa tries to talk to her daughter about her new love she says she ‘can’t cope’.

Why are people so hostile to older lovers? 

We’re told ‘all the world loves a lover’, but that doesn’t ring true if the courting couples are 60-plus and don’t restrict their PDAs (public displays of affection) to holding hands.

There’s a misconceived cultural prejudice which leads some people to think older people who have sex are behaving inappropriately.

It’s difficult for a chid of any age to accept their mother being physically familiar.

Paul McCartney’s offspring weren’t exactly delighted by his puppyish displays of attraction (in the early days of the courtship) to Heather Mills — they felt it was disrespectful to Linda McCartney’s memory. His new bride, Nancy Shevell, has been far more diplomatic and has won the family’s approval.

Lisa’s daughter reluctance to discuss your partner is, on the face of things, unfair, but not unusual. She wants you to be her mother, not a girlfriend and confidante. 

If you’re lucky enough to find love, celebrate it; the point about growing older is you finally have the confidence to make bold choices.

Just remember in your bliss to be sensitive about the fact your families need time to adjust to the new landscape. When they have, I am sure they will share your joy.

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Plastic Surgery Disaster – The Before Better Than The After

By Cynthia Rowland 

Plastic Surgery Disaster - The Before Better Than The After by Cynthia Rowland for The Real Cougar WomanWhat if you make the decision to have plastic surgery and the before looks better than the after?  That happens more times than you can imagine and it happened to Laura. Here’s what she said – “I wasn’t going to leave a suicide note. People would know why I’d killed myself. One look at my face said it all — I’d made myself look ­hideously ugly. My face was lopsided, my nose was too skinny, my lips were ­distorted and my chin was crooked”.

Laura is typical of many patients who are left profoundly depressed by their appearance ­after undergoing facial plastic surgery. 

Underlying psychological disorders may trigger the desire for change but doctors are hard pressed to know if  every man or woman who makes an appointment for a surgical procedure is ready to accept the results.

Disappointing results plague over 30% of facial plastic surgery patients and that may be the upshot of unrealistic expectations. If you elect to have a streamlined nose, enhanced bosom or a face lift, the end result just might be too much when you see your new self.

There is any easier way to go where you can lift and tone your face without surgery.  Facial exercise is a non-surgical alternative that has shown remarkable results throughout the years by millions of satisfied faces.

Lifting sagging facial features without incisions and sutures not only saves your facial features from possible disfigurement – we’ve all seen the over-inflated cheeks, the squinty eyes, the wind tunnel face – on celebrities and even our friends. Facial exercise will keep you looking like you – only younger.

Considering the current trend of men and women wanting natural results – the results of lifting and toning using facial exercise begins Day One. Just like exercise works wonders for slack and atrophied bodies, the very same principals are applied when using facial exercise to tighten sagging facial features. Resistance, contraction and isometric movements shape and contour droopy cheeks, hooded eyes, double chins and more. Those sagging and droopy facial features make you look older because the underlying muscles have lost their oomph. Once you begin contracting the muscles oxygenated blood is forced into the facial tissue so that skin and muscles reposition and this helps you look younger.

Back to Laura: Laura Pillarella, 41, wanted to “fix herself” and chose plastic surgery. Now after 15 unsatisfactory procedures she has written a book charting her excessive amounts of procedures, titled Chasing Beauty: My Cosmetic ­Surgery Takeover. Laura is not alone – there are others who have experienced great anguish when seeing their after surgery results. Patients frequently schedule revision surgeries only to feel less confident in their appearance after the second or third or tenth procedure. Are the doctors to blame for this dissatisfaction or the patient who cannot accept their God-given beauty?

Yes, some people are afflicted with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and most likely they will suffer the silent epidemic of disappointment no matter how many procedures they undergo. But anyone can change their thinking about their options and about the modalities they choose.

Using facial exercise is empowering. Your confidence will soar as you realize the control is in your hands. Turn back the hands of time naturally, self assured and positive that you can look 5, 10 even 15 years younger in just weeks.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.