Aging Has It’s Rough Moments

By Linda Franklin -

 Is it true that once we hit 45 looking in the mirror becomes painful? I guess most of us would agree that it’s hard to come to terms with getting older and our faces only confirm what we feel inside.

In a survey of 3,000 people done in Briton, they found just a handful of middle-aged people checked their reflection more than once a day. I find that hard to believe don’t you?  Even though I may not always like what I see looking back at me, I am compelled to check myself out when I pass by a mirror.  For me that likely to be more than 10 times a day.

They found that women with dyed blonde hair are four times as likely to check themselves out in their mirrors at home (or in store windows) than those with grey hair.

Here’s what one woman had to say.  “We don’t like what the aging process does to us and by the time we reach 45 we are no longer, as far as most are concerned, looking our best. Those pesky mirrors just remind us that we’re not getting any younger and so we tend to look into them far less.”

Well I don’t know what’s going on in Briton but here in the good old USA women are looking fabulous well into their 70′s.  It doesn’t happen magically – it involves putting many different pieces of the anti-aging puzzle in place.  Better diet, regular exercise, bio-identical hormones, a good skin care regime, a flattering wardrobe, regular trips to the hair salon, lots of sex and of course happiness paired with a great attitude.

So the next time you pass a mirror and take a look at yourself stick out your chest, smile and say to yourself I’m fabulous -  “bring it on”.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Bangs Are Hot For Fall

by Linda Franklin – The Real Cougar Woman

This season’s hottest hair trend is purse-friendly, hides wrinkles and makes you look years younger. So should you consider bangs this fall?  Yes, says celebrity  hairdresser Paul Edmonds.  Cutting bangs takes a little courage.  We've all experienced the trauma of a trying a new do. But, there are enough bang styles to choose from,so you should be okay by doing a little snip snip.

The shape of your face should be taken into account. Longer faces normally suit bangs.fringes. Round or angular faces benefit from a side-parted or feathered bangs that shows off some of the forehead.

Reese Witherspoon has a square jaw and high forehead so this long, side-parted fringe balances her features. A graduated fringe is a great way to soften an angular profile.

Rounder faces need a deep fringe. By curling the bangs slightly, you reduce the width of the face. A feathered fringe adds length to your face as well.

Erotic Capital Is A Learned Skill

by Linda Franklin – The Real Cougar Woman

Take a look around your friends and colleagues. Chances are the ones you consider most attractive possess not only beauty, but intelligence, charm and that special je ne sais quoi. People fall over themselves to help them.

It may not be fair, but it’s definitely a big plus to have been born good-looking.  The good news, however, is that attractiveness can be learned; it’s a skill like any other that requires some effort.

At the heart of true attractiveness is what Catherine Hakem calls “erotic capital”. In her new book  The Power Of Erotic Capital  she says, “It’s an asset that’s been ignored in the stampede to analize people’s economic capital (what you earn and possess), social capital (who you know) and human capital (what you know)”.

Erotic capital is a blend of beauty, sex appeal, liveliness, charm, social skills, sexual competence and talent for dressing well. In other words, it’s a crucial mixture of physical and social attractiveness.

Think of someone like Madonna. She’s not the most conventionally beautiful woman,  but she has transformed herself into probably one of the most famous woman in the world, certainly one of the most compelling and successful.

It’s true that the naturally beautiful are more likely to have erotic capital because they get a head start in the cradle. As babies and small children, they’re treated more warmly. Even professional nannies perceive six-month-old babies differently according to how attractive they are. And among their peers, good-looking children are often the most popular.

All this positive attention has lasting effects on the personalities of children, speeding up their intellectual and social development.

Does this mean all average-looking women should immediately start saving up for cosmetic surgery? After all, at least one psychotherapist suggests that reshaping the features of unattractive people may be more likely to make them feel better than years of therapy. 

But there is no need to consider going to extremes. The French, for instance, have always recognized that a woman can make herself extremely attractive by the way she presents herself.  And anyone can learn social etiquette, good manners, color.  Try to smile more often — when you smile the world smiles back.

Some feminists argue that it should be against the law for employers to judge a woman by her appearance.. So it’s not surprising that many young women regard feminism as irrelevant. The steady growth in sales of cosmetics, fashions and cosmetic surgery suggests that rising affluence and everyday reality are more influential than any feminist rhetoric.  I guess they will have to learn by life experience that true beauty comes from the inside.

Consciously or unconsciously, everyone’s affected by looks. That’s why possessing erotic capital gives you an average earnings mark-up of 15 to 20 per cent, according to experts. It also makes it more likely that you’ll land the job in the first place.

It does not, by the way, mean women should immediately start baring their cleavage at work.Your erotic capital includes your skill at presenting yourself — and that includes adopting dress styles that are appropriate for the venue or occasion.

The great thing about erotic capital is that anyone can develop it.   Do you agree?

Tips For Re-Igniting Your Middle Age Sexy

by Linda Franklin – The Real Cougar Woman

What is it about polling companies and middle-aged women? It seems that scarcely a day passes without seeing a survey on some aspect of the middle-aged female experience. Maybe we should feel grateful, because according to the latest survey, pollsters are the only people who find ladies of a certain age even slightly interesting.

The latest revelation comes from a survey of 2,000 women who feel that 46 is the age that they become invisible to men. 

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Fashion Tips – OK If You’re Loaded

Gwyneth Paltrow's fashion tips need some revisions.  Not all women can afford a high end, luxury wardrobe – but apparently this is news to her.

The actress posted her recommendation on GOOP.  In her opinion, these are the basics for the  essential spring wardrobe. Only one problem.  Unless you have $18,000 to spare, her picks are perhaps a little unrealistic.

Women Need A Great Pair Of Jeans

Real Cougar Women need their jeans. Why is it the older I get the harder it is to find a good pair of everyday jeans that make my ever changing body look fabulous?  To combat some of the challenges that we face with designer jeans I’ve made sure the jeans in my collection have some “common sense rules” in their engineering. 

For instance, a longer rise is so important in the design of a great pair of jeans for more mature bodies.  This allows for better coverage in the front and back of the jeans but also helps to disguise any lumps or bumps around the hip area. 

Cougar Woman – Loving The New 65

Hillie Marshall admits that when men come into the dating agency she runs asking to meet young women, they are taken aback when she reveals her own age. Hillie is not some nubile young woman, but a 65-year-old mother-of-two from West London, who looks at least a decade younger than she really is.

‘People have a stereotyped image of what a 65-year-old mother should look like — short, greying hair, conservative clothes and a cardigan,’ she says.

‘But that’s not for me. I go shopping with my 30-year-old daughter and we often swap clothes. It’s not that I’m trying to be young; I just don’t think about getting old. I live life the way I always have.’

Cougar Women – Looking Sexy From The Waist Up

Here you are getting ready for a special date and you're stuck.  You stand in front of your closet confused about what to wear.  And, if the date happens to be with a younger man, well that can be downright intimidating!  

With the pressure to look younger, now at a fever pitch, it’s easy to go  overboard and end up squished in something that’s too tight, too short and just too, too! 

So how can you look sexy, without going overboard? We say, simply - focus on your top half. 

Real Cougar Helen Mirren Shines @Arthur Premiere

 
Helen Mirren is a true star and one of the favorites.

Last night she glowed at the premiere of Arthur here in New York City. She wowed everybody in her flowing white linen gown, carefully accessorised with a cashmere shawl and pearls.

Accessories Can Make Or Break Your Look

Belts are tricky at any age.  That's why I have gotten us some expert advice on how to wear them so they are flattering to our bodies. My friends over at Fabulous After Forty, Deborah and JoJami, The Glam Gals, always have the most fabulous fashion tips and I love them cause they always look sensational. 

They took this photo of this woman at a daytime networking event. It looks like this fashionista was trying to have some fun with her outfit and wanted to add some fashion flair!  Our experts had this to say:

"She gave it a good try, but unfortunately missed the mark. We are all for showing your creative side, but unfortunately this gold sparkle belt is not flattering or fashionable to wear day or night".

Here's what went wrong.

• When putting an outfit together, you don’t want all the attention at your midsection.
• We’ve been seeing large jewels or sequins for daytime, but this belt has  tiny sparkles and therefore looks inexpensive.
• The casual scarf  (while a hot trend at the moment) is confusing the “look”… a scarf with some shine or gold thread might have pulled her outfit together better.
• Wide belts usually work best when used to nip in the waist. They are harder to pull off down at the hip, unless you have narrow hips.
• Belts are best in black or brown. If you opt for gold or silver they should be on the thin side.
• Too trendy – If you want to be a daring, put your creative fashion feelings in 1 statement piece of jewelry, shoes or handbag. Most of all look in the mirror and if in doubt don’t wear it.
• Less is more. Leaving off the belt or wearing one that was simpler would have looked much better!

This is a better look.  

Thank you Deborah and JoJami for your tireless efforts to keep all of us Real Cougar chic.