Madonna Still HopesThere’s A Mr. Right – Like All Of Us

by Linda Franklin

Last Friday night, Madonna, of all people, admitted to this - ”even if we are sophisticated, educated, evolved human beings, we still in the back of our minds think Mr Right is going to rush in and sweep us off our feet. ‘If you have half a brain, you know real love doesn’t exist, but I can see myself walking down the aisle again.”

Now, it could well be that the Material Girl was merely faking a belief in the idea of a great love because she was promoting her film W.E., depicting the affair between Edward and Mrs Simpson. But maybe not.

Madonna still feels, at 53,  that she is attractive and has a lot to give a man. She has conquered every career mountain it is possible to assail, and now wants to focus on relationship.  She has an amazing lifestyle but is beginning to realize it’s not as much fun doing it alone.

She has been wounded and betrayed by men, but is still willing to believe she has not yet met the right one. ‘We keep getting disappointed,’ she said. ‘But we still hold out hope that, next time, he will be The One.’

She isn’t the only woman who has that sense of longing, that hope that one day her knight in shining armor will come and sweep her away to the Magic Kingdom. 

But, does a great love really exist out here in the real world, away from the silver screen or between the pages of romantic fiction?  Why do we find it so hard to find the great love we’re still holding out for? Well, for one, we are perfectionists.

The thing that breaks apart many relationships is the desire for everything to be perfect – and there is no such thing.  How could we expect one human being to be the perfect man?  Always disappointed, like Madonna, too many of us never made relationships a priority. We believed that success, money, power and nice things would be enough. Unfortunately, we have discovered they aren’t.

But don’t give up hope – happiness isn’t that elusive.  It begins with refocusing your priority list.  When you are happy with yourself you won’t be as critical with the man in your life.. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Soul Mate Search Hinders True Love

By Linda Franklin

According to the myth, soul mates not only have a deep connection, but love and accept everything about each other. Being soul mates with someone implies you have similar tastes and interests, and love doing everything together.

Last year I wrote a blog Soul Mates Are Not Who You Think They Are.  I don’t believe in soul mates and I never have.  

Single women worry there is something wrong with them because they can’t find their soul mate, and married women question whether one nasty argument means her husband isn’t her soul mate after all. But what does the term really mean?

The inference is that once you find your soul mate, there are no fights, and you will be unquestionably accepted for who you are. No wonder everyone wants one — particularly this generation, many of whom had a front-row seat for their parents’ divorce.

Instead of worrying about the heady connection with a so-called soul mate, people should focus on what really counts.  Falling in love is easy – staying in love is where the challenge really lies.

Here are a few relationship skills that really hold two people together. 

• Managing to argue while being respectful of each other’s opinions and finding a compromise
• Being open and upfront about feelings; and listening without interrupting or making assumptions – call it mind reading
• Couples needs their space. Time apart, separate interests and knowing there is always something more to discover about your partner promotes intrigue, excitement and desire

Being different should also be regarded as an asset — not a problem — as each partner brings added dimension to the relationship.

Finally, relationships need strength of character as much as a deep connection.  You cannot feel defeated by the first piece of adversity that comes your way.  Overcoming problems together, as a unit, really binds people together.

Rating our relationships on how connected we feel is making us miserable, and leaving us helpless when something goes wrong.

So, do yourself a favor.  Get your head out of the clouds and banish the word ‘soul mate’ from your vocabulary.  From now on focus on improving relationship skills and accepting the differences. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Soul Mates Are Not Who You Think

Soul mate, what's that??? When I was a young woman growing up my friends were busy experimenting with drugs, sex and rock and roll and I can assure you we weren't out looking for a soul mate. Today, of course, all that's changed.  Soul mate is a term that's used all the time, but I think the meaning is all wrong.

The romanticized interpretation of a soul mate is the perfect person who really understands you because you think alike, you act alike, you love the same things and that person completes you. The perfect ying to your yang.  Well, I don't think that's what a soul mate is at all.  I believe a soul mate is someone who drives you nuts.  A person who is the complete opposite of you.  A person who is constantly pushing your buttons.

See if this makes sense to you.  Our soul constantly is pushing us to learn new things. In other words, finding out what really makes us tick. In order to do that, we need to be challenged.  Now, who has the ability to challenge you more – someone who is exactly the same as you, or, someone completely different?  Who forces you to look in the mirror and see your limitations?  Who gets you to try new things?  Who helps you recognize the difference between feeling good and feeling bad?.  Your soul mate.  

I love constantly learning more about who I am really am, and I have many soul mates who help me by constantly pushing my buttons. The biggest button pusher of them all is my hubbie.  We are very different in many ways, but dig deep enough and we share lot of the same raw nerve endings.  I don't think it's an accident we're together.  Together we are learning lessons that help make us more conscious, which translates into a richer life for both of us. 

So, the next time your button pusher in driving you crazy, stop for a moment and ask yourself what should I be learning from them?  Once you figure that out – that button won't be pushable any more.