Beauty Detox For One Month – Could You Do It?

 

by Linda Franklin

No, blush, lipstick, nail polish, moisturizer, eye cream, conditioner, blow dryers, perfume, plucking, shaving, waxing for one entire month. Could you do it?  

I’m not sure I could.  But one brave women did.  After she read a survey saying that two-thirds of women believe facing the world without full make-up is more stressful than a first date or a job interview. Many of the women interviewed were unable to contemplate even the most mundane tasks (sitting on a train, for example, or answering the door) without selected areas having first been dyed, tinted or plucked.

She wondered if she was one of those women???

 

 

 

 

  

Anna Pursglove, like so many women find that spending time on our appearance enhances our mood. 

Just for fun write down your list of beauty must-haves.  I know mine is longer than I thought.

Anna confesses that before embarking on her beauty detox, she had one final splurge. A session of microdermabrasion, followed by a manicure and pedicure, plus a Keratin blow-dry and eyelash extensions. Finally, she is ready to start.

She recounts that the first few days are surprisingly easy — “I’m not my usual glossy self, but nor do I look too unkempt”. By the end of week one however Anna feels like every part of her is peeling. Her lips, deprived of their regular coatings of moisturizing lipstick, are parched and her lower legs are scaly without the daily applications of rich body lotions. 

When she looks into the mirror she feels she has aged a decade, as deep lines appear — particularly around her mouth. People used to comment that she looked young for 39, she is now being asked whether she’s ill or hung over.

On the up side, the lack of plumping moisturizer has made her face look thinner and friends are wondering whether she has lost weight.

Anna says, “by week four, the attributes that I have spent my adult life emphasising — eyelashes, eyebrows, eyelids, lips — are virtually invisible at best and chapped and flaky at worst. I look child-like and aged at the same time.

As her experiment came to a close she realized that women  are highly disingenuous about the importance of their looks.  We have no problem taking a high moral stand along the ‘no woman should be judged on her looks’ lines, while simultaneously lampooning any famous female who appears in public looking unkempt.

With our constant judging of each other, we women are our own worst enemies.

The pursuit of beauty is both a joy and a curse. It is an expression of feminine sexuality and of individual taste. Yet it makes us self-conscious and competitive, eating up our time and money. It is, in many ways, an addiction — one she said enthusiastically I’ll be resuming the moment this experiment is over.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Perfection Causes Pain Especially In Relationships

by Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D 

If you are looking for the perfect partner or trying to be one – think twice. Perfection is painfully unrealistic for individuals and emotionally costly for couples.. While there is no doubt that striving to be your personal best and feeling good about your efforts is healthy as well as relationship enhancing – perfectionism is something else.

Perfectionism is the belief that a state of completeness and flawlessness can and should be attained. The literature on perfectionism underscores that there is an important difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. It is a difference worth considering.

Adaptive Perfectionism involves striving for high standards as motivational and encouraging but there is choice in the pursuit.

Maladaptive perfectionism is different. Those with maladaptive perfectionism don’t really have a choice to strive or excel. They have a pervasive need to achieve an unrealistic standard of perfection as a proof of self-worth. This is the woman who can’t invite friends for dinner because she demands that she cook complicated gourmet recipes and fears failure. This is the partner who avoids sexuality because she is not yet the perfect weight. This is the man who can never enjoy a family vacation because nothing is ever perfect. Frequently those with maladaptive perfectionism have unrealistic expectations of the significant others in their lives. If their partner is not the most successful, the center of the party, the most desirable, the most intelligent etc., their fragile self-worth is compromised.

Just reading the definitions  may be an important first step in identification of a pattern. 

Couple relationships can replay or replace early attachment patterns and they can exacerbate the maladaptive need to be perfect with critique, competitive demands and unrealistic expectations. Recognizing the things that are interfering with your happiness – and agreeing to work together – may reduce blame and double your chances of success.

You can build a secure attachment as you work together using some techniques for reducing perfectionism. Lower anxiety by recognizing that addressing perfectionism does not equate to accepting mediocrity – it equates to striving without suffering. Agree to risk trying just a few new things. Agree to risk making mistakes together. 

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.