Better Orgasms – Start Early

by Linda Franklin

Better Orgasms - Start Early Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman Female orgasm is something we don’t talk enough about.  So, to help young women and men understand it’s complexities The University of Minnesota is spending $3,400 to host a symposium this spring specifically designed to help its female undergraduate students achieve bigger, better and more orgasms.

‘Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to come learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot,’ reads the description posted on the school’s official events calendar.

‘Are you coming?’ it asks.

The university’s official online description of the event entitled, ‘The Female Orgasm,’ describes it as open to both male and female students, according to Campus Reform.

While the average age of undergraduates at the University is 21, it is not uncommon for students to enroll at the age of 17.

‘This educational workshop is open to the full university community and participation is voluntary,’ she said. ‘As a research institution, we study, publish and educate on a vast range of topics, including human sexuality.’

In my opinion, this is a big step forward for women. The more open we can be about female sexuality the better.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Penis Size Does Matter – Sorry Guys!

by Linda Franklin

Penis Size Does Matter - Sorry Guys! The Real Cougar Woman Linda FranklinWomen have been telling guys since time began that size doesn’t matter, BUT, new research shows that size does matter if women want to have vaginal orgasms.

If you are a man who has an issue with the size of your penis, you might want to look away now.

New research by the Journal of Sexual Medicine has shown that contrary to popular (wishful?) thinking penis size does matter when it comes to pleasing a woman in bed.

The good news is that it only matters for some women and some types of orgasms.

Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of the West of Scotland who conducted the research asked a sample of 323 women about previous sexual encounters.

They were asked about their recent sexual behaviors as well as how important penile-vaginal intercourse and other sex acts were to them. They were also asked whether penis length influenced their ability to orgasm with vaginal stimulation.

Defining ‘average’ as the length of 5.8 inches, the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

Supporting the hypothesis that size matters, Brody and his colleagues found the women who reported the highest number of vaginal orgasms in the past month were most likely to say that longer was better.

Brody told Live Science: ‘This might be due at least in part to greater ability of a longer penis to stimulate the entire length of the vagina, and the cervix.

These findings come eight months after the same journal reported sensational new evidence that vaginal and clitoral orgasms are, in fact, completely separate phenomena and activate different areas of the brain.

A series of essays published in April this year showed that contrary to popular belief – and many previous scientific findings – there was more than one way to satisfy a woman in bed and that the clitoris was not the only key to a woman’s sexual satisfaction.

Other findings cited by the essays in the series include:

  • Women are not only be able to orgasm from both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, but from stimulation at a range of erogenous zones, with some able to even ‘think’ themselves to a peak;
  • The sensitive G-spot – once thought of as a semi-mythical orgasm hot spot – could have a role in pain relief during labour by more than doubling a woman’s pain threshold;
  • The ability to reach climax through vaginal stimulation could be linked to both physical and mental health, with healthy women more likely to orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

French gynaecologist, Odile Buisson in her essay argued the case for the classic understanding of the female orgasm as dependent on clitoral stimulation.

According to this view, the front wall of the vagina is closely linked with the internal parts of the clitoris, meaning that stimulating the vagina without activating the clitoris ought to be impossible.

So, she concludes, so-called ‘vaginal’ orgasms could in reality be clitoral orgasms by another name.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sex No No’s That Take Away The Fun

by Linda Franklin

Sex No No's That Take Away The Fun Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanIt’s not just men who need help when it comes to pleasing women in the bedroom.  Women have to connect to their own sexuality and push away some of the no no’s that have been getting in the way of our pleasure.  

What are some of those myths than need to be debunked?  Here’s the shortlist:-

  • Men are like a light switch, either they are turned on or off
  • Men get turned on without you even trying.  Maybe that’s true if the guy’s 22, but beyond that, men need our help
  • Men should know what turns you on. How can a man know your body better than you do? Let your partner know what you like. Better still, show him
  • Not reciprocating during lovemaking. Some women really do just lie there and expect the male partner to do all the “work.” Men love to be made love to, so don’t overlook your opportunity to please your partner
  • Thinking sex is “messy.  Get your brain turned on to the joys of sex and off of  cleaning the sheets
  • Certain positions are “unladylike.” No such thing. If it pleases both of you go for it
  • Refusing to let a partner try anything new. You don’t want to eat the same meal twice in a week, why would you expect your partner to want to have sex the same way every time
  • Hiding sex toys. If you need a toy to add to your enjoyment, don’t be afraid to say so 
  • A man’s erection is all about you. Big, big mistake. A man can be under stress, not feel well, or just not have been as much in the mood as he thought. Don’t get offended – just calmly try doing something new you think he might enjoy.

Sex is about having fun, so don’t get all tangled up with what you think is right or wrong – just go for the gusto!

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sastisfying a Woman Sexually Can Only Be Taught By Women

by Linda Franklin

Sastisfying a Woman Sexually Can Only Be Taught Women Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanSatisfying a woman sexually isn’t rocket science, but men just keep doing the same-old, same-old without trying to educate themselves on what woman want.  That male-ego subborness results in anger, confustion and frustration for both the man and the woman.

Men have to learn to ask for specific directions from someone who knows how to get where they want to go. Typically they are getting their sex tips from porn and men’s magazines.  So, let’s face it – the average man is  CLUELESS on how to satisfy a woman.

The only way to learn how to please a woman sexually is information from other women.

Men really don’t have any idea what they’re missing, one man admits.  He says, “a completely satisfied woman is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.”  He’s right!  When the lady is happy the world is a happier place for everyone.

I am not a sexologist but if you want to learn everything you can about female sexuality, I suggest you check out this site.  Betty Dodson, author, and PhD sexologist has been one of the principal voices for women’s sexual pleasure and health for over three decades.  Both Betty and her partner Carlin Ross believe the following:

* Masturbation is the foundation for all human sexual activity.

* Sexual repression begins with the prohibition of childhood masturbation.

* Every individual is entitled to contraception. Intentional motherhood is essential for the health and well being of women, children, men and the planet.

* Comprehensive sex education that includes information on how to achieve sexual pleasure in a variety of sex styles and relationships.

* Feedom to choose from a range of different lifestyles such as remaining single, couples living together casually, monogamous or open marriages and all variations of communal living based upon personal choice.

* Eliminating myths surrounding human sexuality from virginity to monogamous marriage.

* The concept of beauty is arbitrary and controlled by corporations that prey on women’s lack of self-esteem.

* Sexual pleasure and orgasm is the source of life and creativity. As we awaken our bodies through the senses, we awaken our minds to the knowledge that we are all related and connected to every living thing on planet Earth and throughout the vast universe.

Both men and women will learn volumes about women’s sexuality by reseraching their site.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Orgasms In The Gym! Workouts Can Be Fun

by Linda Franklin

Orgasms In The Gym! Workouts Can Be Fun Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanHere’s a great incentive to get off your ass and get to the gym.  Women are having orgasms while lifting weights or during spinning class, even if sex was the last things on their minds.

Although this was first reported in 1953, ‘little is known about exercise-induced orgasms,’ according to scientists from Indiana University.

To fill in the gap researcher Debby Herbenick and her team surveyed hundreds of women aged from 18 to 63 who said they had experienced exercise-induced orgasm or sexual pleasure at the gym.

This opens up a whole new world of possibilities for the big “O”.  How can I orgasm – let me count the ways.

Here are the exercises that are most likely to be associated with female orgasms:

Abdominal exercises: 51.4%

Weight lifting: 26.5%

Yoga:  20%

Cycling: 15.8%

Running: 13.2%

Walking/hiking: 9.6%

A fifth of those who experienced orgasms said they had no control over the experience and most of the women felt self-conscious about it.  But, it only took five weeks to recruit the 370 women who experienced the Gym Orgasm, so exercise induced orgasms aren’t really that rare.

I go to the gym twice a week, and have been for years.  I have never once experienced orgasm while exercising.  Maybe I have to try harder.  I sure would enjoy working out more if I could look forward to that added bonus.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sexually Checked In Or Out To Lunch?

by Staci Haines 

Sexually Check in or Out To Lunch? Staci Haines The Real Cougar WomanHave you ever had those sexual experiences where you or your partners were out to lunch while you were having sex? Maybe you were waiting for the sex to be over, thinking about the proverbial grocery list, or watching the wallpaper. Or perhaps it was your partner who was somewhere else. Maybe he or she seemed preoccupied, like nobody was home. It can be an especially terrible experience when you feel this lack and ask your partner something like, “Are you here? Are you thinking about something else?” and get the response “What you are talking about — I’m fine, what’s wrong with you?”

Even if the position is hot, the orgasm is good, and the person is someone you like, the lack of being there can leave the sex disappointing at best and empty at worst. Although we humans have all kinds of sex, from recreational to spiritual, on some level we have sex to connect with another human being. If being with another person didn’t matter, we’d stick to masturbating.

Most of us don’t talk about being present or checked in during sex.  You may decide it is not a big deal and just fill in for the person, act as if your lover is with you. Or, you may not know how to ask your partner to be present during sex, or not know how to be there yourself.

Dissociation at its core is a bodily or physiological phenomenon. The breath tends to get shallow in the upper chest. The small muscles in the body contract, so that blood flow is constricted and there is less sensation and emotion. The change of breath and muscle contraction can cause a sense of floating away, or not being able to connect with or notice others as a separate three-dimensional person.

Dissociation is an automatic bodily response that we have little control over. It can be brief or last over years depending on the cause and need for protection or shutting down.

People dissociate for lots of different reasons — it’s an automatic physiological response to high stress, danger, threat, or trauma. The threat can be large or small, real or imagined; the person must only perceive it as potentially dangerous. For some this is a new situation, or just the fact of being revealed or vulnerable, not necessarily a physical threat. For some people dissociation can be an automatic response left over from hurt or trauma that happened in the past. The dissociation can linger.

We are also culturally trained in it. Overall, our schooling, Western religions, and the violence we live around call us out of our senses and bodies and into a very mental, and at times anesthetized relationship, to ourselves, our bodies, other people and the world. What I mean by this is that our culture does not promote a life of being inside of and connected to our sensations and the information that comes from our bodies and physiology. We have learned to think of ourselves as a brain atop a body.

Presence is the Deciding Factor

Presence is the deciding factor for hot sex, satisfying and connected sex, and sex over time with the same partner. New positions and creative expression are important to quality sex, but if you or your partner are not present or checked in, the others do not matter as much. It may be difficult or impossible for a relationship to last if one partner is not present during sex.

If you are in the process of recovery from abuse or trauma, learning to be connected to your own body, sensations and emotions is a cornerstone of healing. Coming back into yourself by contacting your sensations and emotions will allow you to move through the pain and let it leave your body. You learn to respond to the present rather than automatically dissociating out of the past hurt or trauma.

When you are checked in you can feel your own sensations, emotions, boundaries, and sense of what you care about. You can be in the experience you are having rather than just thinking about it in your head. The other great piece about being present is that you can pay attention to your partner as well as yourself. When we live in a dissociated state it is easy to have people become living symbols in our minds, instead of real flesh in our beds with us.

You can feel the difference of presence. Most people talk about a magnetism, or sense of ease or trust that they notice when someone is present with them. There is a different possibility for being connected, and having a sense of meaning, depth or playfulness.

Being checked in or present is a learned skill that takes a little practice. If you are used to being off somewhere else during sex, it may seem strange at first to have your attention on your experience. To practice being checked in, bring your focus and attention into your own body, sensations, emotions and thoughts. While attending to yourself in this way, also pay attention to your partner. Practice paying attention to both yourself and your partner at the same time. (At first, it may seem like patting your head and rubbing your stomach.)

Notice how long can you stay present before you want to float off again. If you find yourself wanting to be away from the experience instead of present for it, see how that makes you feel. There may be information there for you. To get really good at being present during sex, practice noticing and feeling yourself from the neck down in your everyday life.

The practice of checking in during sex may be the best thing you ever give to your sex life and intimate relationships.

Staci Haines is the author of The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life after Child Sexual Abuse. She is a somatic practitioner specializing in trauma and recovery and teaches Somatics at Rancho Strozzi Institute in Northern California.

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Republicans Are Having Better Sex

Republicans Are Having Better Sex Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Womanby Linda Franklin

Here’s a surprise.  Those tightly wound prim and proper conservatives are having a better time in the bedroom than their Liberal counterparts.  This information comes courtesy of a  survey of over 5,000 singles.

Match.com’s Singles in America poll revealed that although conservatives have less sex than Democrats, they climax almost every time, compared to just 40 per cent of the time for Democrats.

The reason behind this, Match says, is because it is not just their Republican politics that are conservative. Republicans are far more likely to be happy with marital sex. When choosing a partner, supporters of the GOP showed a pattern of looking for people of a similar socio-political background who believe in marriage.

Liberals on the other hand prioritized a sense of humor, individuality and equality in their relationships.

Led by an evolutionary biologist, a sex therapist, and experts at the Institute for Evolutionary Studies at Binghamton University, Singles in America is claimed to be the largest comprehensive study of singles ever. 

Results of the annual survey also showed that, contrary to society’s stereotyping, men are just as likely to fall in love as women and believe that a marriage should last forever.  In fact only 3 per cent of the surveyed males admitted to wanting to date multiple partners.

Anthropolgist Helen Fisher, the study’s advisor and author of Why Him? Why Her? told The Daily Beast: ‘I really don’t think Americans understand men.’

Her theory was proven further by the revelation that only 44 per cent of men, compared to 50 per cent of women, believed bad sex could end a relationship.

The female contingent also cited laziness, scruffiness, neediness and a lack of humour as relationship deal-breakers and said education and career success were important factors when picking a mate.

While modern women seemingly have a longer list of demands and boxes to tick in the partnership stakes, men, it appears are more willing to ignore their feelings for the sake of commitment.

31 per cent admitted they would consider marrying someone who ‘has everything they are looking for in a partner’ but with whom they weren’t in love, and 21per cent went even further confessing that they would commit to someone they weren’t sexually attracted to.

The one thing all singles agreed on? The economy has not affected their dating habits.

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sex Isn’t Meant To Be Orchestrated

by Linda Franklin 

Sex Isn't Mean To Be Orchestrated - Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanSex is wonderful and sex is complicated.  Getting two people to be on exactly the same page takes time and good communication.  What you think is pretty darned fantastic doesn’t necessarily translate to the other person.

Recently I talked with a woman who is concerned because her partner of four years has become obsessed with the idea of simultaneous orgasms. She feels every time they’re in bed, he is trying to synchronize their climax. Yikes, talk about pressure. This has gotten so bad, she’s even tried faking it to keep him happy, and we know that never works. 

Only in the movies does sex look perfect.  In real life it isn’t.  You never see any heroine say”, Hang on a minute, you may have popped your cork, but I haven’t — don’t you dare roll over and go to sleep!’ 

I talk to a lot of women and most say that simultaneous orgasms — while not quite as rare as unicorns — aren’t all that common (and often get less frequent with age). Only two have experienced the phenomenon with any frequency.

Most women will admit that in their 30’s it was easier to time their orgasms with their partners, but after having children is was almost impossible.  And, with some partners it was easier to coordinate peaks, but it didn’t always mean the sex was better.

Early in the dating process perhaps is was easier to experience simultaneous climaxes, but when that pattern didn’t continue the man thought he was doing something wrong. 

A word of advice for the guys.  Women hate when you stare down and ask how close we are.  It makes us tense and irritated.  To avoid that many women  fake orgasm to please you but it is really making them miserable.   

The biggest downside of fake orgasms is that men think they have pushed some kind of magic button when they haven’t. They then become perplexed when they try to repeat the process and nothing happens.

It’s clear you need to talk to your partner about sex outside the bedroom, when emotions aren’t running so high. The question is –  what has made him feel that synchronised climaxes are so vital? Perhaps they were a feature of a previous relationship and he’s come to believe that they’re vital for good sex?

No two women peak in the same way (some don’t have orgasms at all, so much as a pleasurable plateau of sensation) and he needs to understand that.

Rare is the man who has never watched pornography and many develop unrealistic expectations from scenes where trigger-happy porn stars climax on cue. Why? Because they’re faking it and the whole thing’s a fraud. Explain to your partner that you feel you’re being held up to some golden standard that doesn’t exist.

True erotic love is free and easy and doesn’t conform to any preconceived plan. There are no rules when it comes to good sex — we just need to release ourselves and enjoy the moment.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Faking Orgasm Doesn’t Work

By Linda Franklin

Faking Orgasm Doesn't Work Linda Franklin, The Real Cougar WomanMen might find this difficult to believe, but more than half of all women have faked an orgasm, according to a study published last week.  After questioning more than 400 women they found  53.9 per cent  had pretended to reach the heights of ectasy with their partner.  Many said they did it to preserve his male ego and prevent him from straying.

So why are so many women secretly dissatisfied with their sex lives?  

If you go to bed exhausted every night or fight over the smallest things with your partner, it will definitely have an impact on your sex drive. Sex has got to be fun and when it’s not you find any reason  to pass.  A lack of libido is a common problem, with an astonishing 30  per cent of women claiming to have no sex drive at all.

The lack of libido can be caused by other factors too, including illness or a decline in hormones, which is common during peri-menopause and menopause.

‘Libido is a complex issue — it’s a mix of brain, heart and hormones.  And, many women are too embarrassed to talk about it.  

Sex is something we do need to talk about, and the best place to do that is in the doctor’s office.  Not just any doctor, but a doctor who you trust and who is compassionate to your problem.  There are many answers to a low sex drive.  Some remedies are as easy as a progesterone cream or testosterone patch.  But, you need to know what works for you.

Sexual satisfaction is too delicious to go without. Find out how you can start enjoying one of the undeniable pleasures of life.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sex Is Better Than Any Pill

by Linda Franklin – The Real Cougar Woman

Sex is better than any pill by Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman Sex is one of our biggest preoccupations, and so it’s natural that it would be the subject of a slew of research projects. Scientists at Rutgers University, are using scans to monitor women’s brains during orgasm and are coming up with some interesting factoids.  

Two minutes before orgasm the brain’s reward centers become active. These are the same areas that are activated when we’re eating and drinking. Then, immediately before we climax,other areas of the brain – the ones that receive ‘touch’ messages from the body – are activated.

The final part of the brain to be activated is the ‘control’ part which regulates temperature, hunger, thirst and tiredness.  So, having sex at the end of the day, has many stress-relieving benefits, especially for men.  Having a powerful orgasm is equal to having a 2-3mg shot of Valium.  Now you know why they have sex and then immediately turn over and start to snore.

What else happens to a woman’s brain when she slips between the sheets?  Is sex mind altering?  The answer is yes. 

The oxytocin, released during sex lowers our defences so we become more trusting. It’s also the key to bonding, because it increases our levels of empathy. Women produce more oxytocin than men and that’s why we are more likely to let down our guard and fall in love with a man after sex. Unfortunately, our body can’t distinguish whether the person we’re with is a casual fling or marriage material — oxytocin is released either way. So while it might help you bond with the love of your life, it’s also the reason you may feel so miserable when a short-term relationship ends.   

Men, on the other hand, don’t get that same surge of bonding hormone, they get a surge of pure pleasure. That’s because the main hormone released for them during sex is dopamine – the pleasure hormone. For women especially – the mind plays a major role in achieving orgasm. The key to female arousal seems to be deep relaxation and a lack of anxiety.  

 
Regular sex – are you ready for this – may actually help us grow new brains cells too.  That’s what researchers at Princeton are finding. So does that mean the more sex you have the smarter you get??? Factors such as stress and depression have been shown to shrink the hippocampus, yet exercise and sex counteract this effect.
 
The benefits of sex are numerous to list on a blog posting, but I’ll leave you with this.  Our lips have 100 times

more nerve endings than our fingertips.  So, if you kiss a lot before intercourse, the sex will be much better.   

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.