Hormone Levels Blamed For Women’s Attraction To Bad Boys

by Linda Franklin

A woman’s perception of ‘the perfect partner’ can depend entirely on the state of her hormones. Most women have a pretty good idea of what their Mr. Right should offer her, but their idea of the perfect man is a lot more flexible than most would think.  In fact, it varies with the monthly cycle.

When hormone levels reach a level that makes her more likely to conceive, that smooth-talking, handsome bad boy rockets to the top of the priority list.  Under normal circumstances he might be dismissed as a poor candidate for a solid relationship, but when hormones are raging he’s perfect in every way. In other words, Mr Wrong rapidly becomes Mr Right.

Researcher Kristina Durante said: ‘While women do not realize it, the hormones associated with fertility lead them to delude themselves about sexy, bad boys. ‘Instead of seeing them as unreliable, these women think that they will become devoted partners and better dads.’ Dr Durante created fictitious online dating profiles of a handsome, charismatic skier and an average-looking but successful accountant. She then asked young women if they thought the men were father material.

The women did the test twice, when their fertility was at its highest and lowest. Their view of the accountant did not change but the skier rose in their estimations when their chance of conception was higher, said the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Dr Durante, of the University of Texas.

Not sure I’m buying Dr. Durante’s conclusions.  I know lots of women who constantly make bad choices in the man department. Can we blame everything on our hormones?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Madonna Still HopesThere’s A Mr. Right – Like All Of Us

by Linda Franklin

Last Friday night, Madonna, of all people, admitted to this - ”even if we are sophisticated, educated, evolved human beings, we still in the back of our minds think Mr Right is going to rush in and sweep us off our feet. ‘If you have half a brain, you know real love doesn’t exist, but I can see myself walking down the aisle again.”

Now, it could well be that the Material Girl was merely faking a belief in the idea of a great love because she was promoting her film W.E., depicting the affair between Edward and Mrs Simpson. But maybe not.

Madonna still feels, at 53,  that she is attractive and has a lot to give a man. She has conquered every career mountain it is possible to assail, and now wants to focus on relationship.  She has an amazing lifestyle but is beginning to realize it’s not as much fun doing it alone.

She has been wounded and betrayed by men, but is still willing to believe she has not yet met the right one. ‘We keep getting disappointed,’ she said. ‘But we still hold out hope that, next time, he will be The One.’

She isn’t the only woman who has that sense of longing, that hope that one day her knight in shining armor will come and sweep her away to the Magic Kingdom. 

But, does a great love really exist out here in the real world, away from the silver screen or between the pages of romantic fiction?  Why do we find it so hard to find the great love we’re still holding out for? Well, for one, we are perfectionists.

The thing that breaks apart many relationships is the desire for everything to be perfect – and there is no such thing.  How could we expect one human being to be the perfect man?  Always disappointed, like Madonna, too many of us never made relationships a priority. We believed that success, money, power and nice things would be enough. Unfortunately, we have discovered they aren’t.

But don’t give up hope – happiness isn’t that elusive.  It begins with refocusing your priority list.  When you are happy with yourself you won’t be as critical with the man in your life.. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Soul Mate Search Hinders True Love

By Linda Franklin

According to the myth, soul mates not only have a deep connection, but love and accept everything about each other. Being soul mates with someone implies you have similar tastes and interests, and love doing everything together.

Last year I wrote a blog Soul Mates Are Not Who You Think They Are.  I don’t believe in soul mates and I never have.  

Single women worry there is something wrong with them because they can’t find their soul mate, and married women question whether one nasty argument means her husband isn’t her soul mate after all. But what does the term really mean?

The inference is that once you find your soul mate, there are no fights, and you will be unquestionably accepted for who you are. No wonder everyone wants one — particularly this generation, many of whom had a front-row seat for their parents’ divorce.

Instead of worrying about the heady connection with a so-called soul mate, people should focus on what really counts.  Falling in love is easy – staying in love is where the challenge really lies.

Here are a few relationship skills that really hold two people together. 

• Managing to argue while being respectful of each other’s opinions and finding a compromise
• Being open and upfront about feelings; and listening without interrupting or making assumptions – call it mind reading
• Couples needs their space. Time apart, separate interests and knowing there is always something more to discover about your partner promotes intrigue, excitement and desire

Being different should also be regarded as an asset — not a problem — as each partner brings added dimension to the relationship.

Finally, relationships need strength of character as much as a deep connection.  You cannot feel defeated by the first piece of adversity that comes your way.  Overcoming problems together, as a unit, really binds people together.

Rating our relationships on how connected we feel is making us miserable, and leaving us helpless when something goes wrong.

So, do yourself a favor.  Get your head out of the clouds and banish the word ‘soul mate’ from your vocabulary.  From now on focus on improving relationship skills and accepting the differences. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

5 Qualities Cougars Want In Their Man

by Linda Franklin

What does a Real Cougar Woman want in her man?  Some might say that we’re complicated – but that’s not really true. Through trial and error we have discovered what’s important and what’s not.

I have put together a wish list that’s actually pretty basic. I think most women would agree that these things are very important in sustaining a happy relationship. 

A Man Who Listens – Real Cougars wants a guy who looks into our eyes and actually convinces us he cares about what we’re saying.

Women know that quality is rare, especially, if you have been with one person for a long time.  These guys have definitely fine-tuned how to tune us out.  And, that ‘s why listening is very important to us.

Man Who Loves - Real Cougars want a man who isn’t afraid to show how much he loves you.  Not just tells you – shows you.  Small gestures, like making dinner, buying flowers mean a lot.  Needless to say, we also want someone who can also make our toes curl between the sheets.

A Man Who Provides – Yes, even though we are perfectly capable of providing for ourselves, we want our man to be able to do the same.  This myth about sugar mamas is just that –  a myth.

A Man Who Shares – A man who shares his feelings is a gem.  Honestly, guys we don’t like to guess or try to read minds. Just tell us what’s going on – it’s so much easier that way.

A Man Who Like Adventure – We want a man who wants to try new things.  He doesn’t have to dive out of airplanes or climb mountains, but he does have to go with the flow and not get stuck in the past doing the same things over and over again. Real Cougars love to try new and exciting things and want a man who can keep up with their energy and passion for life.

These are my picks.  Ladies, if you want to add to the list I would be interested in your comments. 

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The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Real Cougars Know What Turns A Man’s Head

Men don’t talk. Let us rephrase that, MOST men don’t talk and that is why women are often times confused about what is going on in our heads. Here are a few fun facts about Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now or the man you have had your eyes on who lives across the hall.

1.  You are an independent woman, not a clinger.

Men love it when you include them in your life, but do not make them your life. Keep your gym routine, your friends, and your family and make sure you never let him see you sweat if he can’t make it. Your life goes on with or without him; and if you act like this, you will never be without him!

2.  You are sexy, hot, but not slutty.

That’s right, men like it when you turn the head of every guy in the room, as long as you are on his arm and let everyone know it.  Don’t ever flirt with his guy friends, and always make sure you let him know he’s the apple of your eye.

Cougar Tips For A Happy Relationship

Cougars know relationships are always tough.  Putting two people together and expecting them to become one unit creates all sort of problems.  Yet, for better or for worse, the majority of you want to be part of this socially accepted union known as a “couple”. 

 

All of us, no exceptions, walk into a relationship with baggage. It’s tough taking responsibility for your own happiness. That’s why consciously or unconsciously you are all looking for the person with the power to do it for you.  Of course, deep in your gut you know that’s not possible, but you keep searching just the same.

 

Then one day you find him – Mr. Right.  Your hormones start to rage and you believe you have found the answer to your prayers. He feels the same way about you and so you make the decision to create a new life together.  In the beginning life is grand, and you are walking around on Cloud Nine.  Then one day, out of the blue, something he does, says or implies opens up a an old would and the hurts come oozing out.

 

It’s not surprising that the divorce rate in this country is 50% and rising.  That's why so many women are asking themselves this question:  What can I do to avoid falling into that all too familiar relationship trap ever again? 

 

Here are my top Real Cougar Tips:

 

Be the partner you want your partner to be.  Don’t expect to attract your Mr. Right if you don't possess the same qualities you are looking for in him.

 

Take ownership of what isn’t working in your relationship.  Stop pointing the finger of blame.

 

Create a relationship vision together.  Find someone who wants the same things you do.   

 

When you feel complete, you’re not looking for someone else to complete you.  Be okay with who you are and you will attract the right person for the right reasons.