According to the myth, soul mates not only have a deep connection, but love and accept everything about each other. Being soul mates with someone implies you have similar tastes and interests, and love doing everything together.
Last year I wrote a blog Soul Mates Are Not Who You Think They Are. I don’t believe in soul mates and I never have.
Single women worry there is something wrong with them because they can’t find their soul mate, and married women question whether one nasty argument means her husband isn’t her soul mate after all. But what does the term really mean?
The inference is that once you find your soul mate, there are no fights, and you will be unquestionably accepted for who you are. No wonder everyone wants one — particularly this generation, many of whom had a front-row seat for their parents’ divorce.
Instead of worrying about the heady connection with a so-called soul mate, people should focus on what really counts. Falling in love is easy – staying in love is where the challenge really lies.
Here are a few relationship skills that really hold two people together.
- Managing to argue while being respectful of each other’s opinions and finding a compromise
- Being open and upfront about feelings; and listening without interrupting or making assumptions – call it mind reading
- Couples needs their space. Time apart, separate interests and knowing there is always something more to discover about your partner promotes intrigue, excitement and desire
Being different should also be regarded as an asset — not a problem — as each partner brings added dimension to the relationship.
Finally, relationships need strength of character as much as a deep connection. You cannot feel defeated by the first piece of adversity that comes your way. Overcoming problems together, as a unit, really binds people together.
Rating our relationships on how connected we feel is making us miserable, and leaving us helpless when something goes wrong.
So, do yourself a favor. Get your head out of the clouds and banish the word ‘soul mate’ from your vocabulary. From now on focus on improving relationship skills and accepting the differences.
The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.