Love. Are Some Women More Needy Than Others?

When it comes to love are some of us more needy than others?  Have you ever wondered why you become clingy as soon as you have a partner? Or why you’re unable to stick in a relationship for long? New research has found that the way we act in relationships is pre-determined by which ‘attachment type’ we are. By identifying whether you are an ‘avoider’, ‘anxious’ or ‘secure’, you can find your perfect match and transform your relationships.

Everyone – whether they have just started dating or have been married for 40 years – falls into one of these categories. By understanding which one you are, you can view your own behaviour and the actions of people around you in a new light.

If you’re single and looking for love, this knowledge can help you find the right match; or, if you’re already in a relationship, it can help you understand why you think and act as you do. In either case, you’ll start to experience change – for the better.’  

The science of attachment is based on the fact that we are all biologically programmed to find love. Although we live in a culture that tells us independence is good, nothing could be further than the truth. People in good relationships have been found to live longer, healthier lives.  

The need to be near someone special is so important that the brain has a biological mechanism, called the ‘attachment system’, that consists of emotions and behaviours that ensure we stay close to our loved ones.

But while we all have this need for attachment, the way we show it differs.
In the Sixties, tests found that babies were either ‘secure’, ‘anxious’ or ‘avoidant’. If a secure baby’s mother left the room he would start crying, but as soon as she returned he calmed down and started to play again. 

The anxious baby was distressed, but when the mother came back, he pushed her away and burst into tears. Finally, the avoidant baby acted as if nothing had happened when the mother left and returned to the room. But tests showed that his heart rate and levels of the stress-hormone, cortisol, rose.

Research has now shown that adults behave in a startlingly similar way to babies when it comes to romantic relationships. What type we are (which depends on our upbringing and adult experiences) determines how you react in romantic situations.

Basically, secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back. Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and keep their distance.

By using attachment theory both your own behaviour and that of others no longer seems baffling and complex, but rather predictable… So, which attachment style are you?

To find out the answer click here.

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The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest

The Real Cougar Woman and Suzanne Somers Agree

by Linda Franklin

The Real Cougar Woman and Suzanne Somers agree on the merits of Bioidentical Hormones. Almost four years ago Suzanne Somers appeared on  ABC’s 20/20 on a program they called ”Promises Promises”.  The purpose of this particular show was to warn the public to be careful.  They love to remind us that there are lots of bad people who are living to  take advantage of us poor schnooks.  They covered everything from buying fake handbags online to using bioidentical hormones. 

Since that show aired nothing much has changed.

Dr Lauren Streicher, an obstetrician and assistant professor at Northwestern University, pointed out that something that is natural doesn’t necessarily mean it’s safe”.  She was talking about the soybeans and yams used to make bioidentical hormones.

Somers believes that bioidentical hormones provide protection against cancer.  She said, “so is it a cure for cancer? No. But they do protect us.” Dr. Adriane Fugh-Berman, an alternative medicine expert at Georgetown University, points out that there’s no scientific data to prove Somers’ disease-fighting claims.    

The question then and the question now is – what are women supposed to believe?  ABC asked Suzanne how she would feel if it turns out, in the long run, that she was wrong.  She replied “How will you feel if, in five years I’m right and these doctors are right, and I’m living this incredible life at 65, at 70 at 75?”  Well, four years later we know she is.

Until there is scientific proof that bioidenticals do more harm than good, I will continue to use them.  I feel great, and that’s what most important to me.  Every time I read an article or watch some TV program that talks only about the potential harm and nothing about the potential benefits, I do get a little nervous.  But, I do further research because I refuse to buy into the fear factor.  I trust myself to make the best decisions regarding my health, and I trust my doctor to guide me along that path.

Personally, I tired of hearing so much negative publicity on Hormone Replacement Therapy.  All the experts agree that there hasn’t been enough long term testing to come up with any definitive answers.  Until that time, would everybody please SHUT UP.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Wall Street Journal Wants To Know The Benefits of Sex

Rupert Mudoch's influence is permeating the pages of the The Wall Street Journal.  Just this week Melinda Beck wrote an article on the  benefits of sex  She wondered if sex is good for your health or just a fantasy.

I wondered the same thing and wrote a blog posting on it a few months back.  Here's what I found.

Women On Top Prefer Teaching Men

Women carving out a career in a male-dominated environment might expect there is one thing guaranteed to work in their favor – a female boss.  But surprisingly it's more likely to wreck a woman’s promotion prospects than help them.

Women who do break through the glass ceiling are more likely to help out their male subordinates than female ones. Research shows men who report to a female manager get much more mentoring and support than their female colleagues.

Diet Sabotoge – It’s All Around You

Diet Sabotage is something we don't expect but nevertheless, it exists all around us.  Everyone applauds the plump friend who announces she’s about to join Weight Watchers.  They admire the dedication which leads her to lose her first few pounds but then watch out.  When the dieter starts taking on a whole new look and attitude people start feeling ambivalent — or even hostile.

It doesn't matter whether your friends and family are thinner or fatter than you,when you start to shed the pounds they feel threatened.  But knowing thisu can't distract you from your goal.  You need dedication - not negative input.

Cougar Woman Are Conquering Back Fat

Conquering excess weight around the bra line, and unwanted back fat isn't that easy. First and foremost,understand that you cannot decide you do not like fat on a particular part of your body and then go ahead and begin an exercise plan with the goal of SPOT REDUCING.  That is not how it works.

When you want to address specific problem areas, you must remember that visible fat, and excess weight is a signal from nature that something has to change in your life.  Whether it’s eating better, exercising more or both!  Poor diets and lack of exercise will result in excess visible fat that makes us feel self conscious and sluggish.  Adding strength training, regular cardio and cleaning up the foods you consume will make a big difference in a short amount of  time.  

That being said, there are ways you can focus your training to help increase your lean muscle in certain areas; these tactics combined with regular cardio training and clean eating you will be rid of unwanted fat fast! 

Vitamin D – Conflicting Studies Have Me Confused

This morning I woke up had my breakfast and read 2 reports about Vitamin D.  One was in The New York Times the other in The Wall Street Journal.  When I finished I was totally confused  – but not surprised.

A long awaited report from the Institute of Medicine released today triples the recommended amount of Vitamin D we should take from 200 IU's per day to 600 IU's per day. But, that's far lower than many medical groups have been advocating.  I take 2,500 IU's per day and that dosage works for me.  I know this because every time I get my blood tested I ask for my Vitamin D levels to be tested. You should be doing that too.  

Many Americans are Vitamin D deficient due to working and playing indoors out of the sunshine. Vitamin D has long been associated with bone health but other studies have shown it helps to  prevent heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cancer auto immune disease and many other health issues.  It short, it has been touted as a supplement that is really a Wonder Drug.

Cougar Women Love The At Home Tummy Tuck

What Real Cougar woman doesn't want to firm and sculpt her tummy? 

To get rid of a tummy, several factors come into play.  First and foremost, your skin’s elasticity.  This will vary depending on your genetics, age, and how much weight you gained or still need to lose.  Keeping that in mind, understand that nutrition is the second most important factor here.  You really need to be sure you clean up your diet, eating mostly fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins.  Try to eat every three hours, and include a protein with each meal/snack.

Finally, cardio and strength training come into play.  The cardio is to ensure good calorie burn / weight loss and the strength training is to help you build the strength muscle to boost your metabolism and give you the sculpted flat stomach you are working for!  The most effective strength training exercises include planks, crunches, hanging leg raises and other core exercises.

My absolute favorite core / abdominal exercise is the Reverse Crunch.  It is challenging and will raise your heart rate to ensure maximum calorie burn as well as strengthen and sculpt your mid section.

Take a look at this video and then you can try it for yourself.

 

Real Cougars Benefiting From Extra Sleep On The Weekend

Sleep, or rather lack of it, is something all of us are experiencing these days.  We are working hard, playing hard but not getting enough sleep to sustain optimum health.  Women especially squeak through their days running on fumes.  Then they actually feel guilty if they grab a couple hours of extra hours of shuteye on a weekend morning. 

Well, the days of feeling guilty are over.  Scientists are now reporting that the extra dose of sleep is more than just a luxury – it provides an essential boost to brain power ahead of the working week. Those of us who return to work on Monday morning refreshed after spending 10 hours in bed actually perform better than those who get up early. 

An extra 2 hours in the morning is all that's required to replenish the brain and boost energy, alertness and attention span after a week of restricted sleep, the study showed.

Dr David Dinges, chief of the Division of Sleep and Chronobiology at the University of Pennsylvania, who led the study, said: "The additional hour or two of sleep in the morning after a period of chronic partial sleep loss has genuine benefits for continued recovery of behavioural alertness.

"The bottom line is that adequate recovery is important for coping with the effects of chronic sleep restriction on the brain."

So plan on an extra couple of hours of sleep next weekend. Maybe that's all it will take for you to feel  more alert and rested after a busy, stressful week of multi-tasking.   

Fountain of Youth – May Not Be A Fantasy!!!

I haven't met too many people over 40 who can honesty say that aging is something they are looking forward to.   In fact, the subject of immortality has always been one of great fascination.  The resurgence of "vampire mania" only proves that point. Good vampire – bad vampire who cares as long as we get to live forever.  Human beings fear death. so anything that allows us to fantasize of everlasting life is always embraced.

But, what if this fantasy was starting to look not only like a possibility, but more like a probability? What then?    

A new movie called 'To Age or Not To Age' offers up the idea that we as human beings could live 20% to 40% longer, and that 120-year-old people could be able to look, feel, and move around like a 60-year-old does today. If true, it could be one of the most amazing scientific discoveries ever made; even being called the most important since that of DNA itself.

The documentary comes from filmmaker Robert Kane Pappas, who talks to many different doctors and scientists, some of whom quite a few years ago accidentally (that’s how all of the great discoveries start) stumbled upon interesting traits in the life span of yeast organisms after some were left in a freezer for an extended amount of time. In years of research since then, they’ve discovered something incredible: that aging as we know it is not necessary.

Over the course of the film, we'll hear some of the most brilliant minds researching this medical miracle right this very moment. There’s even companies who have developed a drug that affects genes like the SI-RT-1 gene, which studies have shows prolongs life.  Not only has a drug been developed, but many scientists are already taking it — that’s how much faith they have in this discovery. Unfortunately for us, “aging” is not technically a disease, so it’s thought that this will never be approved by the FDA — another topic that’s discussed in the documentary.

To Age or Not To Age is an incredible documentary to watch, and everyone should really see for themselves.  We are living in an incredible age of discovery.