Men Don’t Forgive Cheaters As Easily As Women

by Linda Franklin

Cheating – not a good thing – most of us would agree, but men find it harder than a woman to forgive this betrayal.  If you’re a woman who is thinking about confessing  an indiscretion be ready for the explosion of anger and grief that will follow.  It’s probably even worse than you imagine.

While infidelity has traditionally been regarded as a masculine trait, an increasing number of women are cheating on their husbands. Financial equality plus more time spent at work are fueling this role reversal.

It wasn’t so long ago that women would  have felt obliged to stick at an ailing marriage, these days they don’t feel so compelled to stay.

A surge in power may have propelled women to be unfaithful but the male attitude isn’t changing quite so fast.  For a betrayed man, it’s a slight against his manhood.   It goes right to the core of his identity.

For men, the sexual component of their wife’s affair is very important – they are more concerned about the sexual aspect than if their wife loved the man she slept with.

‘I don’t think a woman’s reason for having an affiar is that different from a man’s –  they’re looking for attention, affection, emotional support that in that’s going to lead to a sexual encounter.

Before you have anything to confess, try improving communication with your mate.  Tell him how you are feeling and see if you can work it out together or with a trained therapist..  If you don’t  you might be headed for a blowup you are not prepared for.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Affairs Can Keep A Marriage Happy According To A New Book

by Linda Franklin 

Cheating is now considered good for a marriage. Well this is what social scientist Catherine Hakim suggests in her new book, “The New Rules: Internet Dating, Playfairs and Erotic Power”.

An except from the book, published by The Telegraph Monday in advance of the book’s September release in the UK, says that “playfairs” — 21st century affairs aided by the Internet — might be the way to solve the high divorce rate in Britain and the U.S.

Hakim writes that sex outside of marriage is akin to eating a meal at a restaurant:

“The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses and partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues,” she writes. “Anyone rejecting a fresh approach to marriage and adultery, with a new set of rules to go with it, fails to recognize the benefits of a revitalised sex life outside the home.”

She says that the peak time for an extramarital affair is at age 45 for women and 55 for men. Hakim, however, doesn’t advocate letting your spouse find out about the affair — she asserts that the “first rule” of an affair is to “never [have one] in your own backyard where you are most exposed to discovery.”

So, what do you think about this new way of looking a cheating?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Red Flag Warnings That Signal Your Relationship Is In Trouble

by Maryjane Fahey

The dissolution of TomKat’s marriage is old news by now, but you can’t help but wonder about all the waving neon flags that Cruise managed to miss. I mean, talk about getting blind-sided — and all so publicly.

Alas, Tom Cruise isn’t the first to have been duped. Remember the late, brilliant Nora Ephron’s Heartburn? Nora chose to ignore some blaring bullhorns in that saga. Of course, that heartbreak manifested into a hugely successful smash, but a broken heart is a broken heart. I’m not telling you to be a paranoid nut… but pay attention… and don’t settle for anybody’s crumbs.

Now, for our top ON FIRE red flags while you are still in a relationship… drum roll please…

Red Flag #1: You’re Not Getting Any
Is your man more passionate in the kitchen cooking then he is in the sack? Is he squeamish about your lustiness, fondness for leather panties and the occasional spanking? No discussion here. Get the hell out. It’s not gonna get any better.

I had a real mess of a boyfriend who explained to me that he liked me too much to have sex with me. He could do whores, just not women he liked. Oy….

Red Flag #2: He’s a Cheat.
An obvious one, you’d think… but the most spectacular women in the world have put up with cheats, porn freaks and their “sex addictions.” Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Peter Cook, Russell Brand… Let’s leave this humiliating drama to our college years and avoid compulsive damaged dudes, shall we?

Red Flag #3: He Disses his Ex…
…And blames her for his emotionally frozen take on the world. “Baggage” from his past will keep you begging for the “L” word, compliments and just plain ole love and respect. Run for the hill, ladies. This doozie needs to do some deep inner work — and will only leave you dining on a plate of empty fare.

To learn all of the Red Flags click here.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Republicans Are Having Better Sex

by Linda Franklin

Here’s a surprise.  Those tightly wound prim and proper conservatives are having a better time in the bedroom than their Liberal counterparts.  This information comes courtesy of a  survey of over 5,000 singles.

Match.com’s Singles in America poll revealed that although conservatives have less sex than Democrats, they climax almost every time, compared to just 40 per cent of the time for Democrats.

The reason behind this, Match says, is because it is not just their Republican politics that are conservative. Republicans are far more likely to be happy with marital sex. When choosing a partner, supporters of the GOP showed a pattern of looking for people of a similar socio-political background who believe in marriage.

Liberals on the other hand prioritized a sense of humor, individuality and equality in their relationships.

Led by an evolutionary biologist, a sex therapist, and experts at the Institute for Evolutionary Studies at Binghamton University, Singles in America is claimed to be the largest comprehensive study of singles ever. 

Results of the annual survey also showed that, contrary to society’s stereotyping, men are just as likely to fall in love as women and believe that a marriage should last forever.  In fact only 3 per cent of the surveyed males admitted to wanting to date multiple partners.

Anthropolgist Helen Fisher, the study’s advisor and author of Why Him? Why Her? told The Daily Beast: ‘I really don’t think Americans understand men.’

Her theory was proven further by the revelation that only 44 per cent of men, compared to 50 per cent of women, believed bad sex could end a relationship.

The female contingent also cited laziness, scruffiness, neediness and a lack of humour as relationship deal-breakers and said education and career success were important factors when picking a mate.

While modern women seemingly have a longer list of demands and boxes to tick in the partnership stakes, men, it appears are more willing to ignore their feelings for the sake of commitment.

31 per cent admitted they would consider marrying someone who ‘has everything they are looking for in a partner’ but with whom they weren’t in love, and 21per cent went even further confessing that they would commit to someone they weren’t sexually attracted to.

The one thing all singles agreed on? The economy has not affected their dating habits.

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Does Cheating Ever Work Out?

By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

 

Back in my grandparents’ era, divorce was relatively uncommon. Women had fewer choices then and fewer financial resources. “Divorce” and “adultery” were dirty words only whispered.  Most wives looked the other way. There was not any No Fault Divorce on the books, so one had to prove adultery or cruelty, which brought even more whispers and shame from the community.

Flash forward to the ‘60’s and women’s struggle for civil rights, equal pay for equal work and sexual freedom. Increased financial resources meant women didn’t have to put up with infidelity any more; they could now take care of themselves.

Nowadays, almost as many married women as men are cheating. The “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” is alive…but is it well…for relationships, that is. Celebrities do it. Politicians do it. Now Middle America is doing it. But I have to believe it is taking its toll on relationships and perhaps people are not really focused on the gravity of the marriage commitment so much when they think,”If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get a divorce, or find someone on the side.”

I also have to believe, there are those of us out there who still believe in the integrity of the institution of marriage. Just this week, a young man whom I have known for a few years texted and asked me to have an affair with him. “Aren’t you married?” I asked him. “And don’t you have a young child with your wife?”

Here is the rest of the conversation:

Him: You know you want to see me. I really want to see you.

Me: There is no potential upside for me to see you.  And it would not be fair to your wife or your son. I am sorry you chose to marry a woman with whom you now say you don’t love and don’t feel sexually compatible, but you made that choice and now you have a child with her.

Him: Do you want to see me or do you just want to tear me apart?

Me: I don’t break up marriages or families and I don’t help married men cheat. I have integrity and ethics about that.

Him: OK. I get it. How about we meet just for coffee? We can be friends. Good friends.

Me: Frankly, I don’t associate with liars and cheaters.

Him: You know you want to see me. We had such great chemistry together once. Let’s see if it’s still there.

Me: There is no future for us either romantically or as friends. I hope you focus instead on your relationship with your wife and son.

Afterwards, it occurred to me if women didn’t cheat with married men (and vice versa) then the rate of infidelity would go drastically down.  People would think hard about making a marriage commitment and work harder at making better choices and working on the relationship.

 

Men cheat because we LET them cheat. Maybe wives don’t give them permission to do it, but it makes it easier if other women make ourselves available. I happen to believe I am worth more than being the “other woman.”  A LOT more. Think of it this way: Would YOU want some woman helping your husband or partner cheat on you? 

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Breaking Point – We All Have One – What’s Yours?

By Linda Franklin 

 

Bad behaviour is often overlooked, or more likely tolerated, in any relationship, but everyone has a breaking point. A woman is likely to stand by her man through lots of harrowing experiences and then snap over something that is relatively less offensive. 

Women can put up with a lot but there is always the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Anne Sinclair, the wife of former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn, is reportedly considering divorce following claims linking him to a call-girl network in Northern France.  She stood by his side when he was accused of sexual assault, but maybe she’s finally at her breaking point.  Who knows?  I read this weekend they were out together celebrating their anniversary.   

Then there’s Demi Moore who filed for divorce from Ashton Kutcher.  She finally threw in the towel when Sara Leal came forward claiming she cavorted naked in a hot tub with Kutcher in September — on the weekend of their sixth wedding anniversary.

It’s amazing how long both men and women will put up with bad behaviour or extreme unhappiness before they walk away. It’s devastatingly painful to confront the truth that a marriage isn’t working, and sometimes it can be easier to stick with what we know, no matter how bad it is. People tend to need a catalyst. The interesting thing is that there is often no way of knowing what that will be until it happens. 

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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Number One Reason People Get Divorced

By Linda Franklin 

Falling out of love is the new number one reason couples are divorcing according to Your Tango. After doing a survey of divorced or divorcing couples, infidelity has now been bumped down to number two.  Cheating had been number one for the eight years.

Essentially, the survey has found that couples are more willing to work through a partner’s sexual indiscretions than they are through a dry, loveless relationship. And who can blame them?

In the old days, there weren’t any options and women didn’t have their own incomes. Things have changed with the two income household among other things. I’ve always questioned whether or not women’s resolve to stay in a sexually decrepit marriage was due to the the idealistic reasons they posed. Men, on the other hand, have gone to mistresses and sex workers to satisfy their needs, seeing that as their right– their entitlement. The show Mad Men on AMC does a great job displaying this.

Today more couple are rethinking sex’s role in a relationship. They’re spending more time getting better at it and the other things that make it great and communication smooth.  They’re taking sex more seriously. . When they do, it makes them wake up one day and say things like, “I’m falling in low with my husband/wife all over again”.

Sustainable great sex, is a major untapped resource to refuel the state of being in love. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Sexual Friendships Sans The Sex

by Linda Franklin – The Real Cougar Woman

Sexual attraction is a powerful thing.  From the moment your eyes meet, you feel that undeniable spark. You tingle with excitement and immediately reconnect with how much you love that sexual energy rush. It's been too long since your body reacted in such a powerful way to another person.  But, then reality hits – you're married and are commited to remaining faithful.  So what do you do?

You wonder if it's possible to have ahighly charged flirtatious friendship with a work colleague, a neighbor or even a friend's spouse if it never extends beyond the bedroom door?  What if there was a way of sharing many of the things that make a romance exciting — flirting, positive reinforcement, compliments, desire — without messing it all up by leaping into bed together? 

Sexual Favors For Tax Advice

 
Would you trade a sexual favor for expert tax advice?  Of course, Real Cougars wouldn't even consider something so tawdry, LOL,  however in a recent poll by Wet, manufacturer of intimacy products, more than one-third of respondents (38%) indicated they would.  Imagine that! 

Additional results include:

• ·         69% of respondents would give up sex for one month, and 19% would give up sex for one year, if it meant never needing to do their taxes again.
• ·         62% of respondents would rather get money back from their tax return than have one night of great sex.
• ·         When asked if they’d be more likely to cheat on their partner or their taxes, three times as many respondents chose their taxes.

 

Sex In Your Marital Bed – But Not With Your Spouse!

Yesterday Joyce Wadler wrote an extremely interesting article in The New York Times  about the ultimate betrayal – cheating in your marital bed.

Here are a few excerpts from her article but please take a moment to read it in its entirety. Find out if men react differently than women?  And what is the hidden meaning behind such an act? 

A woman no longer earns a scarlet letter for having a child out of wedlock; divorce is not synonymous with scandal; and it is no surprise to find, when a marriage comes apart, that a third person was involved. But even in a sexually liberal culture, the home is still usually off-limits, as if protected by an invisible force field. And the marriage bed — a phrase that in itself seems quaintly out of date — remains a sacred object.

In an informal, unscientific survey conducted at the request of The New York Times by the Web site CafeMom.com, which draws young married women, more than half of approximately 500 respondents said their marriages would “definitely not” survive if their partner made love to another person in the marriage bed. By contrast, less than a third of approximately 700 respondents to another question said that their marriages would “definitely not” survive an affair outside the home.