Women Unhappy With Their Body Image

by Linda Franklin

Did you ever meet a woman who was satisfied with her body?  I haven’t.  You think you are too big here, too small there, and whatever you do to look better –  it’s never enough.

But, how deep do these insecurities really lie and how much do they affect our day-to-day lives?

Dr. Bijal Chheda-Varma, a psychologist specializing in body image at London’s Capio Nightingale Hospital, decided to find out using the silhouette test.  She says: ‘The silhouette test is widely used among psychologists because it’s a very simple way to determine how unhappy a woman is with her shape’.

The women involved in the test were asked to identify the size they think they are from a range of body shapes, ranked from one to nine (with one being very underweight and nine very overweight).

Next, they were asked to pick the size they’d like to be.

The difference between the two numbers is their body dissatisfaction score and, with a little computer trickery, they were shown how they see their bodies compared to reality.

‘Basically, the bigger the gap between the shape a woman thinks she is and the shape she’d like to be, the more upset she is about her body. Most women tend to have a distorted view.

‘While men tend to be more accurate, the average woman is likely to pick a shape one or two points from reality.

According to Dr Chheda-Varma, body dissatisfaction in women is on the rise.

She says: ‘I’m seeing a growing number who do not have eating disorders, but even so they have increasing body dissatisfaction scores.

‘They often come to me for different reasons, like depression and anxiety, and it emerges that body image and food consumption are underlying factors.

‘From what these women tell me, it’s clear how the high standards they are setting themselves and how anxious the pressure to be perfect can make women feel.’

Ladies, what we do to ourselves is criminal.  You have to ask yourself why are you so hard on yourself?

. The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

Dating Fears After Divorce – Especially Getting Naked

by Linda Franklin

Dating after divorce can be daunting.  You’ve been sequestered in a relationship for decades and here you are about to embark on a whole new life.  For some, this transition might be easier than others, but I’ll bet all women over a certain age are terrified about exposing their naked bodies to a new man.

It’s hard for us to believe that any man will see you as sexual being when all you see is every little imperfection in your body.  Every bit of cellulite, every spider vein, every sag that you make you cringe.

Friends can tell you that you are a total babe and any man would be lucky to have you.  But, until you believe it yourself you will be scared to death to let a man near you. The sexual confidence that accompanies youth recedes when your body shows any signs of wear and tear.

We forget that physical attraction has as much to do with personality and confidence as it  does your appearance.

According to psychologist Dr Sharron Hinchliff, a lecturer at Sheffield University who has spent 12 years researching female sexuality and aging, women in mid-life who are apprehensive about venturing into new relationships because they lack confidence in their bodies should take heart — men are not impervious to the passing years, either.

‘The women in our study reconciled the awareness of their own expanding waistlines and aging bodies with the fact their new partners might have a bit of a paunch or a bald spot,’ she says, ‘It’s quite possible they also had their own sexual hang-ups and difficulties, such as erectile dysfunction. Women often overlook the very obvious fact that men age, too.’

Now, what  if you have set your sights on a younger man like many women are these days?  Well, they are not immune to insecurities either.  Their fears of rejection often surpass your own.  They want to please you but don’t know how to do it.  I get emails from lots of guys who want my advice on how to please an older woman in every way.

So, you just have to take that leap of faith.  Get back out there, be yourself and have confidence that you will attract the right men into your life. Confidence is a huge turn on.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Perfect Fitting Bras in 5 Steps – Throw Away The Tape Measure

by Linda Franklin

Wearing the wrong bra can be miserable.  Not only does it pinch and pull it does absolutely nothing to flatter your figure.  Eight out of ten women are wearing badly-fitted bras.  Why is it so difficult to find the right one?  Apparently, the answer to that questions is the traditional method of measuring bust size is outdated.  Using a tape measure is a waste of time because women’s bodies have changed dramatically since the system was invented in the 1930s. 

The traditional method of bra-fitting, still used by most stores, involves two measurements: one from under the bust and around the ribcage, and the other from around the fullest part of the bust.

The first measurement gives the back size in inches, and the difference between the two measurements determines cup size (A denotes a difference of one inch, B of two inches and so on).

But according to a new study, this method is hopelessly out of date because it was designed to go only up to a D-cup. These days women go way beyond D’s and most wear their bras too loose on the back and too small in the cup. 80 per cent of the support given by a bra comes from the band around the middle — not the straps or the cup — and if it’s loose, you are not getting enough support.

The secret to finding the perfect fit is to take a five-step approach: assessing the length of the straps, the shape of the underwire, how well the back fits, how well the cup fits and whether the front band is in contact with the breastbone.

FIVE STEPS TO A PERFECT FIT

1. STRAP LENGTH: You don’t need to adjust your straps to the same length on each side. Many of us have sloping shoulders, perhaps from carrying bags around on one side for years, and so it could be that one strap needs to be tighter than the other.
2. UNDERWIRE SHAPE: If you press on the underwire of your bra, it should press on bone, not breast tissue. The underwire should sit on your ribcage, encasing your breasts but not digging into them.
3. BACK FIT: You should just be able to fit two fingers under the band. It should feel snug — perhaps tighter than you’re used to, but not uncomfortable. If it rides up in the middle of your back, it’s too big and won’t give you enough support.
4. CUP FIT: Nine times out of ten, women are wearing too small a cup size. You should not have any breast tissue spilling out the top of the cup — known as ‘double boob’. The average woman is now a D-cup, yet most think they are a B-cup.
5. FRONT BAND: The middle should sit flat against the breastbone. If it’s pulling away, leaving a gap between the middle of the bra and the skin, the cup size is too small.

Do your girls a favor and take this guide with you the next time you go bra shopping.  

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Heavier Women Enjoying More Sex

by Linda Franklin

Yes, it’s true.  A new study shows that overweight women are enjoying more sex than their thinner sisters. In fact, 92 percent of overweight women are engaging in lots more fun bedroom activities.

The research is based on data gathered on more than 7,000 women. The sexperts are suggesting that if a woman is feeling a decrease in desire she should try more erotic methods of stimulation — like reading trashy romance novels for 20 minutes, three times a week.  Oh come on, we can come up with something more exciting than that can’t we?

I think we all can agree that there is nothing sexy about housework or grocery shopping. And, if your to-do list is all you think about, you are not leaving any room for sexual fantasy. Heavier women agree that weight becomes less of an issue when you are feeling sexy and desirable.

There’s one thing we Real Cougars always have to remember.  Our weight becomes more of an issues for us than it does for the man or men in our lives.  Men love a confident woman and they love a woman with some flesh on their bones.  Who wants to snuggle up against a bag of bones?

Start appreciating your body. See yourself as a sexy woman, a woman who likes the way she looks, a women who appreciates and nurtures her sexuality and I guarantee you are going to be a lot happier in and out of the bedroom.

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Cooking Naked And Other Good Things

By Linda Franklin 

I first met Rosie when she handed me her business card that said, I COOK NAKED. Join me.   I told her I don’t cook, but nevertheless, I was intrigued.

Rosie Battista is the founder of Sleeping Naked After 40.  She refers to herself as a  Healthy Body “Builder”, Trainer & Food Maven.  On her 50th birthday she posed in a teeny-weeny bikini on stage with women half her age (including her daughter) in her first figure body building competition.

Her passion is to help women develop the sexiest version of themselves by losing weight. She says, “that journey starts with cooking naked”.  Well, not literally naked, she means using food in its most natural “naked” state.  ”Naked” food doesn’t come with a box or a label. 

Rosie’s invites you to join her and learn how to use these naked food in the most creative, delicious ways. Her simple recipes feed your body and nourish your soul and the result is you will  feel so much better in your body.

See for yourself in this video where Rosie shows you how to avoid a Halloween Sugar Coma.  Check out Rosie’s blog.  She’s fun, smart and knows what she’s talking about.

Body Image and Sexual Satisfaction

21 Sep 2011 | 10:06 am

By Linda Franklin – The Real Cougar Woman

Body Image

How you perceive your own body plays an important part in achieving sexual satisfaction.  If you don’t feel good about your body how can you feel sexy?   If you don’t feel sexy how can you enjoy sex?

I know women who are have the most amazing sex lives and they do not have great bodies. They are making a conscious choice not to focus on their flaws.  The  stretch marks, the flabby belly, and the wing bat arms, are not going to interfere with their sexual enjoyment.     

Loving acceptance of who you are is a process that can begin with re-focusing on small things that you like about yourself.  The key is turning down the volume on your own self judgments.   It’s these negative, critical voices playing in your head, that stifle pleasure of any kind.  And, in the bedroom, that are particularly deadly.  

Women have to be less concerned about what they imagine their sexual partners are thinking and more about how they want to feel. 

 Believe me, men are not half as critical about your body as you are.  Most of them care far less about how their partner looks and much more about creating an intimate connection.It’s not easy for women to overcome the strong societal forces telling us to look and act a certain way. However, we have to make that a priority – our happiness depends on it. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

New Beauty Ideal – The Tubular Body

The new beauty ideal for Real Cougars is the tubular body. I was googling around for the latest research on body image and noticed there was been a quantifiable shift in body preference reinforced my images in the media.  Today, women strive for the  tubular body type.  That's the boyish, athletic Betheny Frankel look (I'm not  criticizing Betheny just giving an example).

Here's where the mind fuck comes in.  While the preferred body aesthetic is skinny minny, we are in fact curvier than ever:

Sex Is Loving Your Body

One of the biggest obstacles to a woman enjoying sex is a poor body image. Not being able to accept the way you look can leave you sleeping single in a double bed.

It's impossible to enjoy sex if you're more concerned about how you look than enjoying the pleasures of the flesh.  If you're not present in the moment you are shortchanging yourself and your partner.

It's hard to convince a woman that a man sees her differently that she sees herself.  They are not nearly as concerned with the flaws as you are.  They are turned on by your passion, your imagination, your enjoyment – not your perfect perky breasts.

Sex is too important not to give it your full attention. Love the pleasure that your body can provide and stop worrying how your butt looks from every possible angle

Mirror Mirror – Who’s The Fairest – Not Me!!!

Okay, this is distressing, but I can't say it is not true.  We all fall victim to it, no matter how confident we Real Cougars are in other areas of our lives.

After studying women in their 40's and 50's the conclusion was that over 90 per cent of us are so depressed with our image, we suffer something called 'Midlife Mirror Angst Syndrome'. OMG they gave it a name.

Just nine per cent of women over 50 felt proud of what they see in the mirror. The changes that come with age, combined with a youth-obsessed fashion industry, lead to a dramatic drop in body confidence for women the older they get – resulting in the OMG – Midlife Mirror Angst Syndrome.

Cougars And Their Teenage Daughters

I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the subject of aging.  It happens to all of us but some accept it more gracefully than others.  I opt for gracefully, but doing everything I can to say healthy, sexy, vibrant and passionate about life.  I just want to be the best I can be for the age that I am.

I don't have a teenage daughter but that doesn't mean I don't see how aware teenage girls are of their mother's fear, or, more accurately, their hatred, of aging. One girl said, "Every time I wrinkle my forehead, my mother points it out and tells me not to." Another spoke about "competitive dieting" with her mom, how she couldn't help but engage in it even though she thought her mother's obsession with fat was "crazy."

There is a study out from the Girl Scouts of the USA telling us what we already know, which is that the fashion industry and its use of ultra-thin models is making teenage girls too obsessed with being skinny, and distorting their body image. In my more limited unscientific research, the mothers are as strong an influence. Going on shopping trips with mom, usually a bonding experience, became all about hearing moms moan about their fat and rolls. Or seeing your mother trying on something, look in the mirror and say, ""I look ugly."

Daughters need their moms to be stable and secure.  I have so many friends who will tell me with surprise, when looking at photos of themselves when they were younger, "Hey, I was really cute. I didn't realize it." No one does. You have to get older to realize it.