Cougar Confessions – Dating Men Half My Age

by Linda Franklin

I was surfing the net and came across this article on how one Cougar Woman comes to peace with her sexuality.   I love it and thank you Your Tango  for publishing it.  It just may help a lot of women enjoy an exiting time in their lives without feeling the guilt or shame that society attaches to the older woman – younger man coupling.

I’m not what you’d call an incredibly sexual person. Not anymore, anyway. I’m still interested, mind you. I just have very specific preferences when it comes to sex. I’m in my fifties now (and hopefully wiser for the wear), so I no longer have the frisky energy of a younger woman. When I was young and hungry for sex, the world was my playground. I was out to conquer and be conquered. Age puts perspective on things.

In fact, it’s that very lack of desperation that’s freed me, sexually speaking. Having come to terms with the mature woman that I’ve become, I’m finally in touch with what I want. And what I want is younger men.

Fortunately, younger men seem to gravitate toward me, and I often find myself on the receiving end of some very flattering sexual attention. When I first noticed this phenomenon, I thought, Nah, what could these young dudes be seeing in me? I must be reading into it. Recently, a lovely man of about 23 approached me. He could hardly catch his breath while telling me how beautiful he thought I was. I laughed in his face. In my mind I looked more like an exhumed corpse than an object of lust on that bright (very bright) afternoon.

As he reached out to touch my bare arm in what became a seductively overt caress, I realized this guy was serious. And I must admit, it was an incredible turn on. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, still laughing. Did I really want to pursue this, or was this just a perfect moment unto itself? Either way, his attention thrilled me.

Apparently, I thrilled him too. In his eyes I could see the sincerity of his request; he really wanted me. It was exhilarating to be desired by such a young man. I woke up to the realization that, no, he wasn’t into the walking dead; he was interested in the woman that I sometimes forget I am. In our brief encounter, he made me feel young again. When I allowed myself to fantasize for a moment about this coming to fruition, I felt energized and beautiful in a way I hadn’t in years.

Of course, the road that led me here wasn’t a linear one. You’ve heard of the wisdom of age? Well, it’s yours to have, but the price is harsh: you have to survive your forties. If you can make it to 50, you can probably assume the worst is over. By then, all of your stupidest moves are behind you, you’ve raised as much hell as you’re ever going to and you’ve gotten your divorces out of the way. You’ve died hard and lived to tell. You got to watch your body unravel while your mind kept thinking it was 20. When women catch glimpses of their mothers in their own reflection, it’s not necessarily a good day. I spent my forties going insane.

I woke up in my fifties and suddenly — like some kind of hormonal wipeout — everything was fine. I had a clear vision: This is my one and only life; joy is wherever I find it. And I find it in writing, in being a successful single mom, and occasionally, I find it in surprisingly hot flirtations with men half my age.

The first man I ever fell in love with was in his twenties, and he was indeed the poster boy for what I considered to be perfect male beauty. I’ll never forget his soft face and flowing hair. The connection we had was strong and sexual. Memories of him will resonate with me forever. In my mind, I’m still that young woman. He’s still the type of man I prefer, all these years later.

So, the question really is: Do I actually sleep with any of these younger men who fawn over me?

Do I dare answer? The truth is, just knowing that they’re interested is a greater thrill for me than the act itself. 

This is not a new game. Young men have loved older women since the beginning of time, and women have adored the attention for just as long. Unlike our younger counterparts, experienced women are not attached to a future. There is no plan, no scheme, no agenda that might push a man away. No one’s putting a ring on it, and the biological clock isn’t ticking. In short, there’s no desperation. The sensual ‘cougar’ is a magnet for youthful male attention because she doesn’t want anything from him but his beauty, which is a huge ego trip for him and something he can deliver without much pressure.

For a young man, the older woman is the ultimate fantasy: she’s so out of his league, and while it intimidates him, it’s also incredibly erotic. Even though he senses that she is enthralled with the power he brings, the young man who craves the sexual attention of an older woman is brave, because she really does know more than him.

To know that in my fifties, I can still make a 23-year-old man tremble with a desire to please me … well, that sure does make me smile. Healthy lust is life-affirming and human sexual connection can be magical. Even the briefest of encounters can add years to our lives — and isn’t that what we’re all searching for?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Stop Wrinkles Dead In Their Tracks

by Linda Franklin

You hear it all the time – slather on the sunscreen before you leave the house.  You might be delusional and think you are immune to the sun’s harmful rays, but skin cancer is very real.  And, using sunscreen is very beneficial for another reason near and dear to most women.  It keeps us looking younger.  Now it has been proven sunscreen stops wrinkles dead in their tracks.

A new Australian study has found the daily use of sunscreen significantly slows the aging of skin caused by the sun’s ultraviolet rays..

‘This has been one of those beauty tips you often hear quoted, but for the first time we can back it with science,’ Queensland Institute of Medical Research senior scientist and lead author of the trial Adele Green said.

The study found that adults who regularly applied broad spectrum sunscreen – which protects against both ultraviolet B and ultraviolet A rays – over a four-and-a-half year period had no detectable aging of the skin. 

They also had 24 per cent less skin aging than people who used sunscreen less frequently, according to study.

The randomized, controlled trial, published Monday in Annals of Internal Medicine, is the first study of its kind. Previously, the only scientific evidence for the beneficial effects of sun screen on wrinkling was in hairless mice.

The researchers randomly assigned 903 adults, ages 25-55, to use SPF15+ every day on their face, arms and hands with frequent reapplication or to use sunscreen at their discretion.

Silicone impressions, or molds, were taken from the backs of all participants’ hands at the start and end of the trial to grade the damage over the four-and-a-half years of the study.

The adults were all aged under 55 to ensure the changes noted were primarily due to photo-aging rather than chronological aging.

The researchers found those using daily sunscreen were 24 per cent less likely to show increased wrinkling over the period.

Regardless of sex, age, skin color, occupation, skin cancer history, weight and smoking, everyone benefited from daily sunscreen use. ‘And the study has shown that up to middle age, it’s not too late to make a difference,’ Green said.

Any sunscreen stronger than SPF15+ might have had only a marginal additional effect, according to Green as SPF15+ blocks about 94 percent of ultraviolet B rays, which are responsible for sunburn, while one with an SPF of 40 filters about 97.5 percent.

And don’t forget this important warning.  Apply sunscreen well and reapply often.

Previous research suggested that sunscreen could lull sun-worshipers into a false sense of safety, and see them staying out longer in the sun.

‘The sunscreen has to be applied thick enough and in all areas to be effective,’ Dr. Thomas Ruenger, a professor of dermatology at Boston University, told NBC News.

Ruenger recommends using a broad spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 20 or 30 and reapplying every two hours and after sweating or bathing.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Undereye Bags Gone In 10 Minutes

by Linda Franklin

Sometimes you just get fed up with people telling you how tired you look.  It’s those dark circles and under eye bags that make you look like you haven’t slept in weeks.  Concealer can help but too often it just accentuates what you are trying to hide.

Now there is a more permanent solution to heavy under eye bags.

Promising to soften dark circles in just ten minutes, cosmetic surgeons are injecting filler into the eye bags for the new treatment that lasts two to four years.

Dr Alexander Rivkin, a Los Angeles based-facial cosmetic surgeon, said of the in-office procedure which does not require anesthesia: ‘It really is the fountain of youth for the eyes.’

Tear-trough fillers: Promising to soften dark circles in just ten minutes, cosmetic surgeons are injecting filler into the eye bags for the new treatment that lasts two to four years. 

The dermatologist-offered procedure called tear-trough fillers, where hyaluronic acid such as Restylane or Juvéderm is injected to make the eyes appear better rested, costs from $600 to $1,000.

However injecting the eye area is not without risks. If the filler blocks a retinal artery, it can cause blindness, but that’s rare.  The usual side effects of the tear-trough treatment range from puffy eyes to possible bruising, which usually subsides within one week.

Melissa Beretich told Good Morning America: ‘What I’m hoping to come out with is to be able to go back to what I was doing four to five years ago, and not wear makeup. The ten minute procedure with New York City-based plastic surgeon, Dr Steven Pearlman, Ms Beretich said she ‘absolutely’ saw a difference in her eyes and felt no pain at all.

Dr Pearlman explained: ‘What this treatment is doing is camouflaging the bags. For people who only have mild [eye] bags, it’s a way to stave off the need for surgery by filling in that hollow.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Younger Men Think Cougars Are Hot

by Linda Franklin

Allure did another one of those fluffy surveys.  This time it was to find out how men and women really feel about a woman’s changing looks, the effects of plastic surgery, and whether sex gets better with age.  Allure polled 2,000 people nationwide.

Survey says:

- women believe their beauty peaks at 31 – but agree with men that 30 is the most seductive age for a woman.

- men are the most confident in bed between the ages of 50 and 69, while women experience their peak of sexual confidence between age 18 and 29.

-57% of the men and women polled agreed that sex gets better with age, only a third of male baby boomers said they were attracted to women their own age.

-36% of men between 18 and 29 say that ’cougars are hot’.

-women are more pressured to look young.

-grey hair makes a women look old, but on a man it’s considered distinguished…although 63% of men color their hair to look younger, compared to only 36% of women.

Overall, 70% of men and women say they take non-invasive anti-aging measures, and only 1% admit to getting cosmetic surgery, injections and/or laser treatments.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Middle Age Sexy Is The Best

by Linda Franklin

It seems that scarcely a day passes without seeing a survey on some aspect of the middle-aged female experience. Maybe we should feel grateful, because according to one of the surveys I read, pollsters are the only people who find ladies of a certain age even slightly interesting.

This is a sad commentary, but unfortunately it’s true.  Of 2,000 women who were surveyed, most agreed that 46 is the age that they become invisible to men.. 

The good news (according to this survey) is that by the time we get to 60 we start feeling better. That’s the good news????  How about the 14 years we are sitting crying in our beer?  If we’re smart, and I know we are, we won’t let that happen.  We will appreciate who we are, the woman we have grown into at any age we happen to be.

None of us can turn back the clock.  In my middle 40′s, I believed I could.   I was wrong.   I had to figure out for myself, and we all do, how to hold onto your sexy and that fire in your belly.

Here’s a couple of tips I’ll pass on to you if you’re feeling blue because of our age:

• Play up your assets – now it’s time to do what feels good to you  - it’s your turn
• Stop Listening to the naysayers who say life is over at 50
• Don’t hold on to relationships that no longer nurture your soul
• Change your look – go from just OK to sexy sophisticated
• Take a risk – get out of your head – say screw you to the fear  - and watch what happens

We are powerful, fabulous females and even though we may have to play up different assets as we go through the decades, our confidence, our sexy, and appreciation of life will shine through.  Your passion for life will be recognized.

I am convinced that middle-aged women of today are creating another template for aging and it’s not what the pollsters are telling us.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Pre-Oscar Red Carpet Beauty Treatments

by Linda Franklin

Sunday night some of us will be glued to the TV for the Red Carpet Star Walk.  I imagine that the A-list women, who prepare for this event for months, will be breathing a huge sigh of relief when it’s finally over.

The Los Angeles practioners who administer the treatments are bombarded with clients for weeks prior weeks before to the big event.  That’s good news for them.  Ka-Ching.

To get clients red carpet-ready, Nurse Jamie, a registered nurse and the co-owner of Beauty Park Medical Spa in Santa Monica, California, says every appointment is like a racing car pit stop.  ‘We usually have two or three people in the room, no-one has time, so we have one person tightening the body and another giving a treatment on the face’.

Here is a list of the 10 favorite procedures used to make the stars shine brighter – well at least for one night.

Baby Drop Fillers: A special ‘Gucci’ needle and baby drops of filler can smooth wrinkles even on the day of an event. Nurse Jamie uses a hyaluronic acid- based filler for natural, bruise-free results.

Head-to-Toe Instant Tightening: A ‘non-surgical team’ of registered nurses will tighten every inch with a radio frequency device. Nurse Jamie says: ‘Instantly the skin looks incredibly taut and there is no downtime.’

Botox Lite: ’For a softer, more relaxed look, we inject tiny amounts of the toxin into multiple areas of the forehead,’ Nurse Jamie says. ‘This way, people still have full motion… without the skin looking like an accordion!’

Vitamin IM Injection Facial: An aesthetician tends to the skin, while a registered nurse administers an IM injection, which includes B Vitamins and Vitamin C. It’s better to take them together rather than one at a time. It helps to maintain collagen and protect the skin from sun damage.

Zit Killer: On its own, the acclaimed ‘cort shot’ (cortisone injection) can shrink colossal zits with in 48 hours. As a follow up, skin is smoothed with the Near Infrared light.

Cue the ‘Q’: This is the no downtime facelift. It target redness in the skin and works wonders on the skin’s texture and tone. If a star can’t get in to see Jamie, she tells them to pick up a EGF Stem Cell Repair serum and Beauty Stamp which uses a similar technology.

Vaginal Rejuvenation: ‘Before you pass judgement on this treatment, apparently this  includes front-to-back skin tightening in the bikini area and removal of ingrown hairs, skin tags and discoloration.

Body Fat Tightening: ’We’ll essentially redo the entire surface of their body,’ says Jamie, who uses radio frequency to tighten loose skin. Also in demand is i-Lipo, a fat-busting device that targets belly bulges and love handles.

Electric Facials: This facial uses different types of current to boost radiance, enhance lymphatic drainage, kill acne bacteria, wipe out dark circles, and even spark cellular repair.

Bacteria-Busting Facials: Facials with extractions can trigger more blemishes than they treat. Jamie’s team applies gauze dipped in liquid nitrogen to kill bacterial and sooth the skin.

Phew!! My body is tingling just writing about these beauty fixes.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.
 

 

 
 

 

Dare To Bare – How Much Is Too Much

by Linda Franklin

Skin, skin and more skin.  Whether it’s on the red carpet or just walking down the street, women are popping out all over.  So, before you leave the house look into your mirror and ask yourself – how much is too much, especially if you are forty and beyond.

If your clothes are too revealing,  you are most likely sending out the dreaded “desperate vibe”.  But, on the other hand,  if you’re too buttoned up and drab you just fade into the woodwork and don’t get noticed at all.

So how do you know what’s right for you?  How about this. Wear an outfit that reveals 40 percent of your skin and you will get just the right amount of attention.

To arrive at this 40 percent benchmark Leeds University psychologist Colin Hendrie sent four female researchers to one of their city’s biggest nightclubs. They documented on video what the women were wearing and how many times they were approached by the men.

Seventy hours of recordings later it was revealed that women who showed off 40 percent of their skin were asked to dance twice as much as women who were covered up or too exposed.

I have always said, ‘bling and cleavage is not the way to attract the man of your dreams’.  Now research is confirming it.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Hair Extensions – The Bloody Truth

by Linda Franklin

Hair extensions can add fullness and length to otherwise sad-looking locks, but the health hazards that accompany the popular beauty aid can far out-way the rewards.

From blinding headaches, to patchy hair loss and sometimes permanent damage, doctors are now warning about the dangers of hair extensions, the must-have accessory of celebrities on the red carpet.

Neurologist, Dr. Orly Avitzur of Terrytown, N.Y., who is also the medical adviser for Consumer Reports, told ABC News: ‘If you start to get hair loss, then stop immediately. The risk of going bald is great”.’

Hair extensions, where synthetic or real hair is attached onto a person’s existing hair or scalp by weaving, gluing, sewing or clipping it on, first became popular with actresses, but the treatment has quickly moved on to the mainstream.  Women everywhere are using them.

Permanent damage from hair extensions is known as Traction Alopecia.  Apparently the weight and tension on the wearer’s hair follicles can cause permanent damage and prevent hair regrowth.

One 46-year-old New York social worker, who prefers not to be named, said she ran to the doctor with blinding headaches. After blood work and an MRI scan of the brain checked out as normal, there was no explanation for the sudden pounding in the patient’s head.

She was sent to Dr Avitzur, who explained: ‘When I went to examine her and simply touched her scalp, she pulled away and winced when my fingertips touched her quite gently.

‘She had hundreds of these tightly braided hair braids. It was pretty clear to me that she did not need a work-up, but that she needed to remove her extensions.

The procedure, costing anywhere from a couple of hundred dollars to several thousand, can be successful, however it is important to make sure the stylist attaches the extensions using a method that is tailored to your specific hair type.

If they’re attached too tightly, or weigh too much, problems can develop quickly.

Chicago cosmetologist Grace Santiler-Nowik, the president of the Professional Beauty Association’s Professional Council,explained: ‘It’s not something you tread into lightly. People want their hair thick and long, but they forget there’s a whole upkeep portion of it they have to maintain.’

Ms Santiler-Nowik emphasized that customers must return to the salon at regular intervals to have the extensions removed and replaced, and need to take a break from the hair pieces if they’re causing damage to a person’s hair.

‘I think it’s important for people to get education, there’s always a safe way to do things and a smart way to do things,’ she said.

Even Jennifer Aniston, who first gave the extensions a go as her character Rachel in Friend’s, is weary of the procedure.

She told Harper’s Bazaar: ‘I decided to have a couple of extensions, never knowing you would end up with 400 things in your head that cause your hair to break off. Nothing destroys your hair faster than extensions.’

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Aging Ain’t Easy – But It Can Be Fun

by Linda Franklin

Do you sometimes catch a glimpse of yourself as you walk by a store window and ask yourself – who is that woman?  She looks familiar but you’re not quite sure who she is.  Then reality takes a big bite out of your ego  because that woman looking back at you is YOU.

Aging ain’t easy - it takes a lot of effort to do it successfully.  But as I like to say, the juice is well worth the sqeeze.

As I get older,  I find the disparity between how I feel on the inside and how I look on the outside grows ever greater.   Gravity is definitely having its way with me and I don’t like it.

It’s scary heading for senior status in a society that places such a premium on youth.  Women over 60 complain how they become invisible, — unless, of course, they happen to be Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda or Helen Mirren.

Each of us  has to decide what’s right for us in everything we do and that includes aging.  Do you succumb to or do you everything in your power to hold back the clock?

Unlike our mothers’ and grandmother’s generation, there’s no one way to present  yourself as a 60-plus woman today.  We have so many options in the way we dress, how we spend our leisure time, how we take care of our face and our bodies and last but certainly not least, how we keep our spiritual reservoir full.

The majority of women I know who are 60 and above are still working.  Many of them because they choose to – many because they have to.  With the economy the way it is, extending the earning years is a harsh reality and woman need to think about how much they will need to take care of their needs going forward.

It’s interesting too that the divorce rate of folks 60-plus has increased.  Starting over no matter how old you are, is becoming increasingly common. Fifty and sixty somethings are busy exploring on-line dating, with many discovering finding a new love interest is no easy task.

The   bottom line is you really are as young as you feel.  It’s never too late for new fun adventures so go out, take a chance and embrace change because it’s going to happen whether you like it or not.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Vitamin D Essential For Women Over 50

By Barbara Hannah Grufferman

Some great news was just released that is sure to make big believers in the power of vitamin D smile… and maybe just a little smug. Not only is this little “vitamin that could” essential for keeping our brain cells healthy and percolating as we age, but taken with calcium, it offers a host of other health benefits, too.

I got to know firsthand what combining vitamin D with calcium and strength training could do after I was diagnosed with osteopenia (a short train ride away from osteoporosis) when I turned 50 a few years ago. After following a daily program of taking the supplements, eating calcium-rich foods and doing push-ups (and a few other strengthening exercises), I stopped that osteoporsis train right in its tracks. Here’s the scoop…

The results of a major double-blind study by The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI), which will appear in the next issue of Osteoporosis International, confirms that taking a combination of vitamin D3 and calcium every day not only offers tremendous health benefits, but is safe.

Conducted over seven years, the WHI study involved giving 36,282 postmenopausal women 1,000 mg of calcium plus 400 IU of vitamin D3 daily to test whether taken together and every day would reduce hip fracture, and secondarily, total fracture and colorectal cancer.

Results? The risk of hip fractures was reduced by a whopping 38% in women over 50. According to the study’s authors, “Long-term use of calcium and vitamin D appears to confer a reduction that may be substantial in the risk of hip fracture among postmenopausal women.”

Additionally, the study will reassure doctors and women who have been worried about the potential negative health impact vitamin D and calcium might have by showing that taken supplementally is safe without increased risk of myocardial infraction, cardiovascular disease or cardiovascular death. The risk of kidney stones or urinary tract infections, which has been previously studied and documented, appear to be modest and not something average postmenopausal women need to be concerned about.

To read the full report, click here.

What should you do with this information? The National Osteoporosis Foundation (NOF), the leading resource for news, information and education about bone disease, recommends the following simple steps:

• Know your numbers: Have vitamin D and calcium levels checked at your next physical exam and talk with your primary care physician about how much calcium and vitamin D3 to take.
• Eat for strength: In addition to taking vitamin D and calcium supplements, eat plenty of dark, leafy greens (kale, chard, broccoli are great choices), and lots of fruits and vegetables.
• Drink in moderation: Limit alcohol to no more than two drinks a day, and for sure, don’t smoke.
• Get strong: Try gentle running (or fast-paced walking) for 30 minutes for cardio health and weight control, but make sure to include strength-training in your fitness program. One of the most important exercises you’ll ever do is the old-fashion push-up. Here’s a short video showing how to do both the modified and the full push-up:

WATCH: Push-Up Tips

For more information about combating osteoporosis as we age, visit the National Osteoporosis Foundation website.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.