Women’s Magazine Get No Respect!

by Linda Franklin

Last week the British quarterly Port Magazine published a cover story about “A New Golden Age” of print media and featuring six white, male editors. It provided visual evidence for what many in journalism know to be true: The editors-in-chief of the so-called “thought-leader” publications overwhelmingly have been, and remain, white dudes.

But on second glance, something else stuck out. While five out of six of those editors edit general interest publications, a men’s magazine, GQ, was included, while no women’s magazine editors made the cut. In fairness, Port editor-in-chief Dan Crowe—a male of the Caucasian persuasion himself—told Gawker’s Nitasha Tiku that he asked Vogue editor Anna Wintour to participate in the shoot and she declined.

The American Society of Magazine Editors (ASME)—the main organization for magazine journalists in the U.S.—has only regularly nominated women’s magazines at their annual National Magazine Awards (NMA) in a few writing categories over the past three decades: personal service, essays, and public interest.

Not a single women’s magazine has been nominated for profile writing in more than a decade, while GQ and Esquire have received multiple nominations. . What’s more, women’s magazines have received zero ASME nominations for reporting in the past 30 years and zero ASME nominations for fiction in the past 20 years. (This is not because women’s magazines weren’t publishing pieces that qualified in those categories; they were.

To read more about this double standard check out Jessica Grose’s article.  She is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Glamour and Women’s Health.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Cougar Confessions – Dating Men Half My Age

by Linda Franklin

I was surfing the net and came across this article on how one Cougar Woman comes to peace with her sexuality.   I love it and thank you Your Tango  for publishing it.  It just may help a lot of women enjoy an exiting time in their lives without feeling the guilt or shame that society attaches to the older woman – younger man coupling.

I’m not what you’d call an incredibly sexual person. Not anymore, anyway. I’m still interested, mind you. I just have very specific preferences when it comes to sex. I’m in my fifties now (and hopefully wiser for the wear), so I no longer have the frisky energy of a younger woman. When I was young and hungry for sex, the world was my playground. I was out to conquer and be conquered. Age puts perspective on things.

In fact, it’s that very lack of desperation that’s freed me, sexually speaking. Having come to terms with the mature woman that I’ve become, I’m finally in touch with what I want. And what I want is younger men.

Fortunately, younger men seem to gravitate toward me, and I often find myself on the receiving end of some very flattering sexual attention. When I first noticed this phenomenon, I thought, Nah, what could these young dudes be seeing in me? I must be reading into it. Recently, a lovely man of about 23 approached me. He could hardly catch his breath while telling me how beautiful he thought I was. I laughed in his face. In my mind I looked more like an exhumed corpse than an object of lust on that bright (very bright) afternoon.

As he reached out to touch my bare arm in what became a seductively overt caress, I realized this guy was serious. And I must admit, it was an incredible turn on. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, still laughing. Did I really want to pursue this, or was this just a perfect moment unto itself? Either way, his attention thrilled me.

Apparently, I thrilled him too. In his eyes I could see the sincerity of his request; he really wanted me. It was exhilarating to be desired by such a young man. I woke up to the realization that, no, he wasn’t into the walking dead; he was interested in the woman that I sometimes forget I am. In our brief encounter, he made me feel young again. When I allowed myself to fantasize for a moment about this coming to fruition, I felt energized and beautiful in a way I hadn’t in years.

Of course, the road that led me here wasn’t a linear one. You’ve heard of the wisdom of age? Well, it’s yours to have, but the price is harsh: you have to survive your forties. If you can make it to 50, you can probably assume the worst is over. By then, all of your stupidest moves are behind you, you’ve raised as much hell as you’re ever going to and you’ve gotten your divorces out of the way. You’ve died hard and lived to tell. You got to watch your body unravel while your mind kept thinking it was 20. When women catch glimpses of their mothers in their own reflection, it’s not necessarily a good day. I spent my forties going insane.

I woke up in my fifties and suddenly — like some kind of hormonal wipeout — everything was fine. I had a clear vision: This is my one and only life; joy is wherever I find it. And I find it in writing, in being a successful single mom, and occasionally, I find it in surprisingly hot flirtations with men half my age.

The first man I ever fell in love with was in his twenties, and he was indeed the poster boy for what I considered to be perfect male beauty. I’ll never forget his soft face and flowing hair. The connection we had was strong and sexual. Memories of him will resonate with me forever. In my mind, I’m still that young woman. He’s still the type of man I prefer, all these years later.

So, the question really is: Do I actually sleep with any of these younger men who fawn over me?

Do I dare answer? The truth is, just knowing that they’re interested is a greater thrill for me than the act itself. 

This is not a new game. Young men have loved older women since the beginning of time, and women have adored the attention for just as long. Unlike our younger counterparts, experienced women are not attached to a future. There is no plan, no scheme, no agenda that might push a man away. No one’s putting a ring on it, and the biological clock isn’t ticking. In short, there’s no desperation. The sensual ‘cougar’ is a magnet for youthful male attention because she doesn’t want anything from him but his beauty, which is a huge ego trip for him and something he can deliver without much pressure.

For a young man, the older woman is the ultimate fantasy: she’s so out of his league, and while it intimidates him, it’s also incredibly erotic. Even though he senses that she is enthralled with the power he brings, the young man who craves the sexual attention of an older woman is brave, because she really does know more than him.

To know that in my fifties, I can still make a 23-year-old man tremble with a desire to please me … well, that sure does make me smile. Healthy lust is life-affirming and human sexual connection can be magical. Even the briefest of encounters can add years to our lives — and isn’t that what we’re all searching for?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Aging Youthfully Is Our Choice

by Linda Franklin

We are all aging and that’s something we can do nothing about.  But, what we do have control over is how we age.

Aging youthfully is our choice.  In fact, lifestyle choices account for 33 percent of how old a woman looks.  Living an unhealthy lifestyle can age a woman’s skin by over ten years, an in-depth international study has just revealed.

The true damage caused by sun beds, smoking, not moisturizing your skin, and not eating enough fruit can accelerate the aging process – not by a little but by a lot.

Dr. Andrew Mayes, who led the study for Simple skin care, said: ‘We already knew genetics accounted for about 50 per cent of how old people look, but we didn’t know how much would be accounted for by their lifestyles.

‘Even we were surprised by just how much it was; both in terms of the number of years and the percentage.’

The study which was carried out over the last eight years involved women aged 45 to 75 in the UK, Spain and China.

Those who took part were asked a string of questions about their lifestyles including whether or not they liked to sun tan and if they were smokers or non-smokers.

Other questions included how often the women used moisturizer, whether they eat fruit and vegetables, how often they brush their teeth and if they have all their own teeth.

The research team also took digital images of the women which were then assessed for how old they looked to identify their perceived age and whether they looked younger or older than their actual age.

When they got their data the research team compared the perceived ages of those with good versus bad lifestyles.

They concluded the difference was 10.4 years. Dr. Mayes said, “The number of years’ difference was most staggering.  We had just seen some data out of a group of plastic surgeons in the US and Canada suggesting that a face and neck lift (together with eyelid and forehead modifications) could take an average of about 8.5 years off your facial age.

‘Then we got our data through demonstrating a saving of over 10 years. It’s fair to say at first we couldn’t quite believe it”.

‘Simply put; good skin health is about more than fancy creams and lotions – it’s about how we live our lives and how we treat our bodies and the steps we need to take do not need to be extreme.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Stop Wrinkles Dead In Their Tracks

by Linda Franklin

You hear it all the time – slather on the sunscreen before you leave the house.  You might be delusional and think you are immune to the sun’s harmful rays, but skin cancer is very real.  And, using sunscreen is very beneficial for another reason near and dear to most women.  It keeps us looking younger.  Now it has been proven sunscreen stops wrinkles dead in their tracks.

A new Australian study has found the daily use of sunscreen significantly slows the aging of skin caused by the sun’s ultraviolet rays..

‘This has been one of those beauty tips you often hear quoted, but for the first time we can back it with science,’ Queensland Institute of Medical Research senior scientist and lead author of the trial Adele Green said.

The study found that adults who regularly applied broad spectrum sunscreen – which protects against both ultraviolet B and ultraviolet A rays – over a four-and-a-half year period had no detectable aging of the skin. 

They also had 24 per cent less skin aging than people who used sunscreen less frequently, according to study.

The randomized, controlled trial, published Monday in Annals of Internal Medicine, is the first study of its kind. Previously, the only scientific evidence for the beneficial effects of sun screen on wrinkling was in hairless mice.

The researchers randomly assigned 903 adults, ages 25-55, to use SPF15+ every day on their face, arms and hands with frequent reapplication or to use sunscreen at their discretion.

Silicone impressions, or molds, were taken from the backs of all participants’ hands at the start and end of the trial to grade the damage over the four-and-a-half years of the study.

The adults were all aged under 55 to ensure the changes noted were primarily due to photo-aging rather than chronological aging.

The researchers found those using daily sunscreen were 24 per cent less likely to show increased wrinkling over the period.

Regardless of sex, age, skin color, occupation, skin cancer history, weight and smoking, everyone benefited from daily sunscreen use. ‘And the study has shown that up to middle age, it’s not too late to make a difference,’ Green said.

Any sunscreen stronger than SPF15+ might have had only a marginal additional effect, according to Green as SPF15+ blocks about 94 percent of ultraviolet B rays, which are responsible for sunburn, while one with an SPF of 40 filters about 97.5 percent.

And don’t forget this important warning.  Apply sunscreen well and reapply often.

Previous research suggested that sunscreen could lull sun-worshipers into a false sense of safety, and see them staying out longer in the sun.

‘The sunscreen has to be applied thick enough and in all areas to be effective,’ Dr. Thomas Ruenger, a professor of dermatology at Boston University, told NBC News.

Ruenger recommends using a broad spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 20 or 30 and reapplying every two hours and after sweating or bathing.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

No Sex Marriages – Can They Work?

by Linda Franklin

In a sex-obsessed society, where everyone – young, old, male and female – seems to be boasting of how many times a week they ‘do it’. The average person has sex 103 times per year, one study has found.  So that is why this may come as a relief to those who don’t come anywhere near that high water mark.  Many couples are happy to admit that sex plays no part in their marriages at all.

When partners find themselves at a point where sexual intimacy has died they tend to confide their predicament to no one. That’s understandable because  lack of sexual intimacy could be considered a personal flaw you don’t want people to find out about.

However, sexless relationships are a lot more common than people realize – sex therapists hear about this issue all the time from their patients.’

‘Couples who don’t make love start living like brother and sister or friends and get out of the habit of seeing one another in a sexual way,’ says Relate counsellor Paula Hall.

‘If both partners want to reintroduce sex, we encourage them to do so slowly, learning how to be sensual with each other and gradually building up to intercourse.’

Janice Hiller, consultant clinical psychologist at London’s Tavistock Centre for relationships, counsels hundreds of couples a year and says the death of intimacy in marriage is the reason most people seek help.

‘I’m sure many more don’t sign up for counselling but make a choice to stay together without sex,’ she says.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Viagara For Women – Not Sure About That

by Linda Franklin

Trying to understand female sexuality is becoming a mainstream issue, and that’s a good thing.

Sunday’s New York Times Magazine section had an interesting article on why so many women are struggling  with the loss of their sexual excitement.  You can access  the full article here or read the gist of it below. 

At the

Center for Sexual Medicine at Sheppard Pratt in the suburbs of Baltimore women are participating in a new study.  The women chosen are either married or in committed relationships.  When they’re finish answering a series of  questions on their sex life they are given a round of pills.

The pills were either a placebo or a new drug called Lybrido, created to stoke sexual desire in women. The women are  supposed to take the tablets before having sex, and for every time she puts a pill on her tongue, she was supposed to make an entry in her online diary about her level of lust.

The promise of Lybrido and of a similar medication called Lybridos, which Tuiten also has in trials, or of whatever chemical finally wins the race for F.D.A. approval, is that it will be possible to take a next step, to give women the power to switch on lust, to free desire from the obstacles that get in its way. “Female Viagra” is the way drugs like Lybrido and Lybridos tend to be discussed. But this is a misconception. Viagra meddles with the arteries; it causes physical shifts that allow the penis to rise. A female-desire drug would be something else. It would adjust the primal and executive regions of the brain. It would reach into the psyche.

For many women  the cause of their sexual malaise appears to be monogamy itself.  There are so many factors involved so reading the full article is suggested.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Older Woman A Bonus For Younger Men

by Linda Franklin

It makes sense that an older woman is a turn on for a younger man.  Here’s why:

Secrets For Making Your Man Feed Wanted

by Linda Franklin

Real Cougar Women are uber independent.  There isn’t much we can’t figure out on our own, but at the same time, we know how to make the man in our life feel needed and wanted.

Here are 6 proven secrets for balancing your relationship and keeping your guy feel loved and appreciated.

1. Show him you’re partners. There’s a big difference between showing your  man you need him (which he craves) and being needy (which terrifies him). A good partner wants to make you happy, to comfort you when you’re having a bad day, and to support you along your journey.

2. Ask his opinion.  Guys love to feel that their opinion is valued (who doesn’t, really?) So if you’re angling for a promotion at work or wondering how to deal with a difficult boss, ask your guy for his thoughts. Keep in mind that men are a solution-oriented sex, so be prepared for him to suggest an action plan.

3.  Let him make plans. Real Cougars want to do it all which isn’t the greatest way to show a man you care. Give him the chance to help you and to surprise you.  Yes, he may not do things exactly the way you do, but that can be a good thing.

4.  Ask him to help you with a “manly” task. Nothing boosts a man’s ego like doing something, well, manly. My husband revels in his ability to put together a piece of Ikea furniture that comes in 279 pieces.  Again its about letting him know he’s needed and you that you really can’t do it ALL yourself.

5.  Let him teach you about something he loves. Whether it’s olitics, football, investing, your guy is passionate about something you know nothing about. So ask him to tell you about it…then let him take you to a game, or plan a trip, or set a budget. He’ll be so appreciative that you took the time to learn about something that’s important to him, and the bonding experience will be priceless.

6.  Thank him. When your guy shares some information that you find interesting, or cracks you up with a funny story, or helps you figure out a problem that’s been baffling you, be sure to thank him. Let him know that he’s the only one who can make you laugh that hard, and the person who understands you best. The warm, fuzzy, confident feeling he gets when he’s around you will keep him coming back for more, guaranteed!

Give these tips a try and watch how he makes a special effort to show you how much YOU are needed.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Greedy Wife Leaving Husbands With Nothing

by Linda Franklin

Divorce is an ugly business!  Nobody wins!  Wives are left hurt and looking for revenge and many husbands are forced to leave a house and children to live in a  furnished studio apartment.

Women seem to be  living by the principle of ‘don’t get mad, get everything’. And often, they go on getting everything for years, long after time has been called on their marriage.

In these days of equal education,  opportunities and access to professional careers, women are still expecting (and receiving) huge and continuing settlements when a marriage  ends.

I consider myself an advocate for women,  but I don’t see why today’s divorcing women should expect any kind of settlement at all.

If modern marriage is an equal  partnership, divorce should be the same, surely, with both parties getting out what they have put in, as when any other type of contract ends.

Yet modern women are still positioning  themselves as the weaker of the two sexes having to be kept by a big strong man, whether married or divorced. We have fought for equality, and many battles have been won, but divorcing women are still portraying pathetic little housewives unable to fend for themselves, before ruthlessly fleecing the men  they once professed to love.

Want to secure a juicy settlement?  Based on the Heather Mills principle, have a kid.   The presence of a child will ensure generous maintenance payments for years, maybe decades, to come.

It’s easy for an attractive woman to use her  charm and wiles to entrap a rich man, all the time calculating the cash they  receive when they can call time on the marriage. Why can’t they women give that kind of forethought into developing careers and financial independence rather than  sponging off someone else?

The bulk of women are married to ordinary earners and they too can be set up for years with the house, car, custody of children and a regular lump  sum in their accounts.

Some divorcees are reluctant to remarry, in case they kill the goose that lays the golden egg — maintenance usually stops when you have another husband to support you — so they are content with boyfriends and lovers.

When a wife has been brutally dumped, there might be greater grounds for sympathy. But these days, an estimated 70 per cent of  divorces are brought by women. What are these women being paid for, when no  longer married?

One woman, let’s call her Jane, was married for about 20  years when she decided she wanted a divorce. There were no particular  grounds, and no one else was involved. Both parties got a lawyer, and Jane was awarded 85 per cent of the joint assets. There were no children and she had never worked.

In 2013, women who demand everything and expect maintenance forever after, should hang their heads in shame.  We must prove to ourselves that we are not simpering victims, but proud, strong and, above all, financially independent females.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Can Affairs Can Save Your Marriage?

by Linda Franklin

Can an affair actually help save a troubled marriage?  Believe it or not many women say it can.

1 in 3 reported that infidelity helped boost their marital sex life.

Of those who do have affairs, 73 per cent said that they are doing it because they feel neglected by their spouse or partner.

Among the women who said that neglect was the reason for their infidelity, many also cited not having their emotional needs met – a factor that played a significant role in their decision to find someone else.  This doesn’t come as a shock.  Feeling under appreciated, neglected and taken for granted is a common war cry amongst women.

‘The reality is that many people can’t leave their partners for financial reasons and women in particular are usually reluctant to sacrifice their family life.

‘So they are taking care of their needs outside marriage. They’re stepping into the male arena when it comes to infidelity.’

Relationship expert, Tracey Cox, comments: ‘Sometimes an affair can be a wake up call for a marriage and jolt one or both partners into realizing just how important they are to each other and how devastating it would be to lose them.’

But, in general, betrayal isn’t an easy pill to swallow by either partner.  Once the bond of trust is broken it’s very hard to knit it back together.

The way to solve problems in a relationship is to talk about them and confront them before there’s the temptation to play away.

Everyone wants to be desired. If a married couple agree they both want to have sex elsewhere, it’s their decision. But when one person in a marriage wants to sleep with someone else but the other doesn’t, it will cause great pain.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says, ”there’s no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.