Women Who Are Self Abusers

by Linda Franklin

Women are incredibly hard on themselves.  We don’t seem to comprehend that all that second guessing or picking apart every flaw we see in the mirror, is abuse. That self-inflicting feeling of not being enough is hard on us and causes all kinds of repercussions.

Research shows that women are generally kinder, more nurturing and empathetic than our male counterparts, but at the same time, we’re meaner, more dismissive, and critical of ourselves.  What does that say about us?

Low self-esteem is a killer. The need to see ourselves as worthy puts incredible pressure on our psyche.  It’s like walking around with a 100 pound weight on each shoulder.  This notion of perfection, isn’t realistic yet for some reason feel it’s very real.

Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a yo-yo in lockstep with our latest success or failure. We get an incredible high when we receive a nice complement, but feel like jumping off a bridge when someone ignores us or — worse — criticizes us.  We may say we don’t care what others think but inside where it counts our stomach is in knots.

Study after study shows that women who are self-compassionate are much less depressed, anxious and stressed, as well as happier, more confident, and satisfied with their lives, than their harshly self-critical counterparts.

But what does self-compassion mean exactly? The concept stems from Buddhist traditions that emphasize compassion for all beings — ourselves included —– because we are all part of an interconnected whole.

It also entails relating to our situation with mindful awareness and making a mountain out of every little mole hill.

Fortunately, women have access to an incredibly powerful tool they can use to turn things around. We can draw on our ability to care for and nurture others and direct these strengths inward.

The help we need to thrive is available inside us, there whenever we need it, especially when things are at their worst. We have to dismiss the notion that others are worthy of kindness and we are not. We need to promote compassion in every aspect of life, and the first place to start is with ourselves.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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